Pick of the week
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Here's my pick of last weeks best quirky stories and pictures.
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely as cognitively blurred and pixellated as the Duchess of Cambridge's bare boobs anyway.
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This weeks stories & pics
"The R&B tat addict's latest ink—an Egyptian goddess underneath her breasts—is on one of the hottest spots for female body art, according to city tattoo shops."
Popular for the tattoo artist too, I'm sure!
Nude snaps of Scarlett Johansson leaked! (egotastic.com).
Intended for former husband Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett's email seems to have been hacked and the world can now see her bare bottom!
You can catch those ScarJo leaked nudes slightly larger here (hotcelebshome.com).
Hardly a wallflower! Emma Watson suffers a wardrobe malfunction at premiere (dailymail.co.uk).
You can't really see anything, but I know some will be desperate to try, so here you go, here's the pics (hawtcelebs.com).
I guess this is the real picture in question.
The Newsroom's Alison Pill accidentally tweeted a topless pic! (thesuperficial.com).
She displayed good humour about the whole tweeted tittie thing:
"Yep. That picture happened. Ugh. My tech issues have now reached new heights, apparently. How a deletion turned into a tweet … Apologies."
No apology needed, Alison, none at all!
Miley Cyrus gave some short-haired side-boobage (hotcelebshome.com).
Adrianne Curry is still the geeks queen of Twitter (vybzmagazine.com).
All hail the queen-of-geeks!
Did Kanye make another wardrobe choice for Kim Kardashian? (dailymail.co.uk).
Which prompted Kimbo to use the same distraction tactic she used last week by drawing attention to her breasts …
Kim Kardashian flashes nipple in see-through bra! (huffingtonpost.com).
But things are not as they seem, according to Tara, who claims her drunken knicker flash was a paparazzi set up! (uk.omg.yahoo.com)
Her friend certainly looks the more drunk one!
Candice Swanepoel got bikini ass'tastic for Victoria's Secret In Miami (vybzmagazine.com).
Pic 8 ♥
Lindsay Lohan filmed a sex scene with Charlie Sheen (uk.omg.yahoo.com).
No, it's not an attention-grabbing sordid sex tape, it's an attention-grabbing none too sordid scene for Scary Movie 5.
.:: Top column 2 ::.
Christina Aguilera is nearly nude on "Your Body" single cover (huffingtonpost.com).
The single was released on Friday, with the new album, Lotus, set for a November release.
Kelly Brook 2013 Calendar pictures promise an upstanding year (egotastic.com).
Italian showgirl and model Ilary Blasi gave a bikini crack-shot (hawtcelebs.com).
Pic 14 ♥
And now for the story which just can't be ignored!
Royals sue French Closer magazine over topless Kate Middleton snaps (news.uk.msn.com).
"The magazine's French website shows a pixellated photograph of the Duchess in a bikini apparently removing her top."
France's privacy laws are quite robust, and its press usually wary. Italian magazine Chi decided to followed suit, and then the Irish Daily Star, a decision which could endanger the Irish papers future after it emerged neither of the joint owners could acknowledge that they sanctioned publication, which left fingers pointing at a particularly licentious local leprechaun known to be in need of refilling his pot of gold!
And what that shows royal sex sells, and covers the cost of any potential litigation.
But this is the Internet, so those pixillated royal boobies must be somewhere!
• See unpixillated Kate Middleton blurry boobies here (egotastic.com).
This time it seems Britain's The Sun hasn't deemed the royal exposure in the public interest this time. So Mull's poor old Mr. MacSporran, without Internet access (or indoor convenience), will be unable to "take a full part in that national conversation" and do without a bit of blurry boobage.
Those poor royals! Treated like mere mortals like … celebrities, or politician's wives!
Let's finish with some arts news
Art has always been packed with good sex (telegraph.co.uk).
The Pre-Raphaelites were not alone in their predilection for all things carnal!
King of cinema sexploitation, Stanley Long, died (celebrity.uk.msn.com).
"His cheeky X-rated films in the 1960s and 1970s included a number of household names such as Diana Dors, Liz Fraser, Irene Handl and Ian Lavender and gave Pauline Collins her first big break."
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