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Pick of the week

Pick of the week

24th December 2012

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Here's my pick of last weeks best quirky stories and pictures.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely jotted down on the back of that talent agency's card.

No responsibility is taken for the content of any external websites to which links may lead. All links are verified safe with McAfee Site Advisor when posted.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!

This weeks stories & pics

Lindsay Lohan circumcision inspection
Dear sir/madam. I write to your agency to enquire if along with Bar Mitzvah, Lindsay Lohan is available for circumcision inspection. B'vracha.
Courtney Stodden unwraps to wrap

Courtney Stodden unwrapped to wrap her Christmas presents (

She'll give ol' Santa, or any other old men she chooses to date, a heart attack!

Related stories:

Abbey Clancy advent calendar striptease

Model Abbey Clancy wishes you an Abby Christmas with an advent calendar striptease (

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Bar Refaeli Under Me's

Bar Refaeli wants you to buy her Under-me's for Christmas! (

Lindsay Lohan is not available for Bar Mitzvahs

Lindsay Lohan refutes Talent agency claim that she's available through them for Bar Mitzvahs, party appearances or … anything (

"… Lindsay Lohan is not for hire, despite recent claims from a talent agency sending mass emails offering her services for Bar Mitzvahs."

I'm sure there's a foreskin joke in there somewhere.

Related stories:

Lindsay Lohan forced to flog wardrobe (Pick of the Week, 10th December).
Olivia Culpo crowned Miss Universe

Olivia Culpo was crowned Donald Trump's Miss Universe (

Congratulations! Here's Miss Universe Olivia Culpo: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 (

You should have seen the entry from Alpha Centauri though—those breasts would have poked your eyes out, all three of them! You can take a peek at the 2012 (Milky Way) contestants here (

AnnaLynne McCord navel academy

AnnaLynne McCord and Jessica Lowndes promoted 90210 "navel" academy (

Related stories:

Candice Swanepoel loves Brazil

South African Candice Swanepoel spoke of why she prefers Brazil. HINT: Candice lives in a bikini! (

You can catch more of Candice's "raw sexual energy" charms in this recent Victoria's Secret photoshoot (

Pic 15. ♥

Related stories:

Kim Kardashian see-thru leggings

Curvy Kim Kardashian took her ass to the gym in some see-thru leggings (

Here's those ass pics: 1 | 2 (

And some Kimbo cleavage to boot (

Related stories:

Kim Kardashian showed a muffin-top (Pick of the Week, 17th December).

X Factor's nawty Britney Spears tribute Lorna Bliss cleared by Ofcom (

"The regulator said that the dance by Lorna Bliss, who had previously auditioned for Britain's Got Talent, was 'saucy' rather than 'overtly erotic or sexualised'."

If you didn't catch it, Britney Spears impersonator Lorna's performance starts at 2:06, but you may just want to start it at 1:16.

Catch Lorna's even more risqué "Toxic" audition on Britain's Got Talent (

Suzy Favor-Hamilton exposed as $600-an-hour escort

Olympian Suzy Favor-Hamilton exposed as $600-an-hour escort! ( …

Which did her no favours with Disney (

"'So proud to be working with Disney this year :) Looking forward to the Disneyland Half-Marathon & Expo this weekend!!!' she wrote on her official Facebook page before last summer's event in August."

I heard old Mr. Magoo was seen getting off a Greyhound in Vegas and that someone had introduced him to Twitter. One wonders where The Smoking Gun got its tip?

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Paz De La Huerta in Playboy

Paz De La Huerta got naked for Playboy (

You can catch the spread here (

Amanda Seyfried deep-throated popsicles for Lovelace biopic (

Related story:

Miley Cyrus grabbed some birthday booty

Miley Cyrus grabbed some dang ol' stripper booty for her birthday (

Obviously I support watermarking and tagging of images, but there's watermarking and tagging and there's really obtrusive watermarking and tagging! You can grab an untagged version of the pic here ( but just remember to write TMZ somewhere less spoiling than right over the strippers ass!

Coco Planet Hollywood Peepshow

Nicole "Coco" Austin gave a bootyful Planet Hollywood Peepshow in Sin City (

Joanna Krupa bikini candids in Miami

Joanna Krupa gave some ass'tastic bikini candids in Miami (

Updated 3rd June 2013.
Pictures link changed.
Scarlett Johansson leaked nude pictures

Scarlett Johansson hacker got 10 years (

"The biggest spectacle in the case was the revelation that nude photos taken by [Scarlett] Johansson herself and meant for her then-husband Ryan Reynolds were placed on the internet."

Related story:

Nude snaps of Scarlett Johansson leaked! (Pick of the Week, 17th September).

Arts, tech. & funnies

Will Cotton, "Cotton Candy Queen"

Will Cotton, Tracey Emin, and Cindy Sherman create nude Playboy centrefolds (

"Emin, the one-time controversial leading member of the Young British Artists movement and now Royal Academy member and national treasure, contributed Lonely Chair Drawing V."

That'll give you wood—or splinters at least.

Cultural backlash after Arab spring

Egyptian artists fear for their future in cultural backlash after Arab spring (

As always, revolution revolves exactly back to what it deposed. Didn't we all cheer.

Too sexy for work?

Employers can fire workers they find too sexy, Iowa court rules (

"At trial, Knight [the married male dentist] testified he had complained to Nelson [his too-sexy female assistant] on several occasions that her clothing was too tight, revealing and 'distracting.'"

"But sometime in 2009, he also began exchanging text messages with Nelson. Most of these were work-related and harmless, according to testimony. But others were more suggestive, including one in which Knight asked Nelson how often she had an orgasm. She never answered the text."

Wait a minute, I must be missing something here. Either that or that Iowa court never left the 50s. How dare she dress in that figure-hugging dental assistant uniform and not tell him if she diddled that night!

Twin tag team wrestlers Lucy and Kelly Knott

School of hard knocks: Teaching assistant twin sisters are tag team wrestlers! (

"As twins we're definitely at an advantage as a tag team. Wrestling is something we love to do—and it's even better that we can do it together."

Quit saying you'll volunteer for a monkey flip!

George Lucas wanted Star Wars four trilogies

George Lucas originally wanted Star Wars FOUR trilogies! (

"… with Disney taking over Lucasfilm, Star Wars Episode VII gearing up for production, and the Mouse House very interested in making as many Star Wars movies as possible—we might end up getting the original dozen films that Lucas first envisioned nearly 40 years ago."

Related stories:

Disney bought Star Wars. Nooooooo! (Pick of the Week, 6th November).

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Tags: Abbey Clancy, Amanda Seyfried, AnnaLynne McCord, Bar Refaeli, Candice Swanepoel, Coco Austin, Courtney Stodden, Jessica Lowndes, Joanna Krupa, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Lorna Bliss, Miley Cyrus, Olivia Culpo, Paz De La Huerta, Scarlett Johansson, Suzy Favor-Hamilton.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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