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Pick of the week

Pick of the week—Best of 2012

30th December 2012

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Here's my pick of the best celebrity, arts, tech. & just damn quirky stories and pictures of 2012.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and were likely the reason I didn't get an invite to your Facebook again this year. Well fuck 'ya!

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2012 Best of …

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories

Leaked pictures & sex tapes

Scarlett Johansson leaked nude pictures

Back in September, Scarlett Johansson fell foul of a nefarious serial celeb hacker who showed the world her bare bum!

Nude snaps of Scarlett Johansson leaked! (Pick of the Week, 17th September).

The FBI took a great interest (wouldn't you) and caught up with the email interloper, handing him a ten year stretch at the close of the year.

Scarlett Johansson hacker got 10 years (Pick of the Week, 24th December).

And the lesson to be learnt here? Keep an eye on mail forwarding in your email account.

Snooki pussy shot leaked nude

June had cell phone pictures of Jersey Shore's Snooki and Angelina "leaked".

Note the quotes though, remembering that Snooki had tried to sell some before on a site she'd set up. But a least this time we got a totally uncensored legs-up pussy self-shot in the mirror!

Christina Hendricks boob

March saw both Olivia Munn and Christina Hendricks having snaps leaked—although there provenance remains questionable.

Tulisa Contostavlos sex tape

Perhaps the most sticky leak of the year though was in the form of Tulisa Contostavlos's blow-jobbing, tittie-fucking sex tape.

The video was leaked by her former boyfriend and N-Dubz bandmate Justin "Fazer" Edwards because she dumped him her cat dissed him.

Tulisa's legal team (and her dad) scrambled to remove it from Simon Cowell's DVD player, but as with anything on the Internet there really was no putting that banana back in the box once she'd sucked on it.

The lesson to be learnt here? That's right, anyone filming sex acts on their phone should just send then to me and they'll go no further.

Hulk Hogan: 'Fuck, I just ate too. I feel like a pig.'

I guess a special mention should be of the Hulk Hogan sex tape with "obsessed" Heather Clem.

Leaked in October and nominated as "the worst sex tape ever" it did wonders for canopied bed sales.

Tulisa Contostavlos sex tape

Celeb stories

Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick

All told, a terrible year for Lindsay Lohan which hit rock bottom in December when her anticipated comeback in made-for-TV movie Liz & Dick couldn't get it up, her probation was revoked, and possessions including "potentially embarrassing" items were set to be auctioned after she couldn't pay the storage bill! Poor LiLo!

Emma Watson canes Fifty Shades of Gret rumours

October saw Emma Watson having to cane Fifty Shades of Grey film role rumours, proving that facts don't get in the way of a better story.

Miranda Kerr, Laurent Darmon nude photoshoot

August saw a nude photoshoot of Miranda Kerr by Laurent Darmon which she promptly "banned", precipitating a search frenzy for the pictures.

Miranda Kerr nude photoshoot by Laurent Darmon (Pick of the Week, 5th August).
Kristen Stewart, new boobs?

July had Kristen Stewart break R-Patz's Byronic heart with a clit-licking affair with Rupe Sanders which shed light on speculation that she'd got new titties (and boy, did I get it in the neck for the caricature sketch I did of those caricature boobies from the dark horde of hormonal teenage Twilight fanfic writers on Twitter who thought I was being serious!)

Did Kristen Stewart get a boob job? (Pick of the Week, 26th July).
Kirsten Stewart new titties
World in shock! Kirsten Stewart smiles… are new titties the reason for this new found ability?
Octomom porn award nomination

May saw "Octomom" Nadya Suleman finally sign on for a porn slot to keep the bailiffs away.

Octomom finally signs on for a porn slot (Pick of the Week, 7th May).
Octomom "blown away" by AVN porn award nomination (Pick of the Week, 10th December).
No bondage for Emma Watson
Emma Watson was adamant she is NOT considering any cinematic bondage of a more physical kind, but was certainly bound to the rumour!

.:: Top column 2 ::.

Oops! Best wardrobe malfunctions

Rihanna caught changing in Barbados

First up, Boxing Day gave a naked Rihanna caught changing bikini in Barbados, and what a candid ass'tastic treat it was!

Rihanna caught changing bikini in Barbados (Pick of the Week, 31st December).
Anne Hathaway Les Mis pantyless upskirt pussy flash

In the lead up to Christmas, December also saw Anne Hathaway flashing her landing strip.

Rita Ora Culture Clash nipple slip

November saw Rita Ora slipped a nipple at the Red Bull Culture Clash.

Rita Ora slipping a nipple at the Red Bull Culture Clash (Pick of the Week, 12th November).
Sophia Vergara's splitting Emmy wardrobe malfunction

¡Ay, caramba! Sofia Vergara's cheeks wanted in on the action at the Emmys …

Kate Middleton's blurry beaver displayed in Danish gossip magazine

And Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton's bared bush and titties made heads roll!

AnnaLynne McCord flashed her ladynest

September had AnnaLynne McCord flashing her furry bit …

Alison Pill topless tweet

And Alison Pill was a topless tweet!

Katy Perry bare bottom

August saw Katy Perry's bare bottom at Raging Waters.

Katy Perry flashed her bare bottom at Raging Waters (Pick of the Week, 20th August).
Lindsay Lohan Liz and Dick oops

June saw the queen of wardrobe malfunction Lindsay Lohan giving a peek at her pink nips in a Liz and Dick on set oops …

Lindsay Lohan Liz & Dick oops on movie set (Pick of the Week, 11th June).
Miley Cyrus pussy flash

April had a long-awaited Miley Cyrus non-fake oops, with her bare pussy making its debut in an upskirt shot.

Miley Cyrus gave an upskirt peek at her lady-nest (Pick of the Week, 8th April).
Adrienne Bailon pussy flash

March saw Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon give an epic flash of her smooth pussy.

Miley Cyrus comes clean
Miley Cyrus finally came clean with a glimse at her bare pussy.

Arts, tech. & funnies

John McAfee on the run

November had McAfee founder John McAfee on the run from Belizean police after neighbor's murder, before Twitter put an end to what had become an Internet version of Where's Waldo

Updated 4th June 2013.

The strange case of computer software tycoon John McAfee has taken a new twist after his home in Belize burned to the ground (

McAfee was deported to the United States in December with Belizean authorities named him as a “person of interest” but not a suspect in the shooting. He claimed the fire at his property was “suspicious”.

Chriky, case has more convolutions than Lost! I half expected him to pop up out of the sand when I was playing Farcry 3 the other night.

Disney bought Star Wars

Princess Leia had those buns replaced by mouse ears when Disney bought Star Wars

Disney bought Star Wars. Nooooooo! (Pick of the Week, 6th November).
Sienna Miller by Jonathan Yeo

And the tradition of celebrities posing nude and pregnant caused Guardian art critic Jonathan Jones to assert that pregnancy is now a fig leaf for artists painting nakedness!

Fifty Shades of Grey

September saw it reported that literotica mummy-porn sensation Fifty Shades Of Grey had Brits renting more erotic movies.

Widely ridiculed it proved, even if you hadn't read it, an interesting conversation hook all year: I mean, what can be wrong with getting women to chat about their bondage sex fantasies at South-East Essex barbeques!

Invariably that upset elder porn fans gentlemen who voiced they didn't like the idea of those women things getting moist over badly wrote porn and went back to extolling the intellectual appeal of huge-breasted lingerie models in Nuts.

Jean Giraud obituary

March sadly saw both French comic book artist Jean Giraud, known internationally by his pen names Moebius and Gir, and Ralph McQuarrie, the conceptual artist who brought Star Wars to life pass away. Sadly missed.

Jean Giraud obituary (Pick of the Week, 17th March).
Ralph McQuarrie obituary (Pick of the Week, 10th March).
Leia joins The House of Mouse
May the Mouse be with you. Yep, Disney bought Star Wars.

That's my pick of the best of 2012. If I missed your favourite I hope you'll let me know.


Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Adrienne Bailon, Alison Pill, AnnaLynne McCord, Angelina Pivarnick, Anne Hathaway, Christina Hendricks, Emma Watson, Fifty Shades Of Grey, Hulk Hogan, Kate Middleton, Katy Perry, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Miranda Kerr, Nadya Suleman, Octomom, Olivia Munn, Rihanna, Rita Ora, Scarlett Johansson, Snooki, Sofia Vergara, Tulisa Contostavlos.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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