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Pick of the week

Pick of the week

7th January 2013

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Here's my pick of last weeks best quirky stories and pictures.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely spurted out with Nicki Minaj's tits.

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This weeks stories & pics

Nicki Minaj—busting-out
Nicki Minaj busts them out, an ever-imminent situation according to gossip-tongues.
Jenni J Woww Farley's REAL ass

Jenni J-Woww Farley's ass rang in the New Year in Times Square (

Oh dear. But Jwoww claims those unflattering derrière shots were Photoshopped—and not to make them better! And she posted a video of her real ass to prove it.

Nicki Minaj New Year's Eve Sin City

Nicki Minaj nearly bust out her top for New Year's Eve in Sin City (

Everyone is obsessed with Nicki Minaj's tits falling out. Last week it was The Daily mail.

Her super-sized cans have fell out before. Here's the clip ( Love the expression on her face at 0:16. ♥

Lets just hope these stories prove subliminally-suggestive. Bust 'em out, Nicki, please!

And if that thought is not … stimulating enough, here's Nicki playing with her breasts and doing something with her tongue.

Related story:

Nicki Minaj's tits nearly fell out (Pick of the Week, 31st December 2012).
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Kathy Griffin sucks in the New Year

Did Kathy Griffin step off "the fisting cliff" with her New Year's Eve blowjob broadcast stunt? (

"… this year, Kathy Griffin really surpassed herself during CNN's live New Year's Eve broadcast when she simulated oral sex on co-host Anderson Cooper as well as making jokes about his 'sack'."

You can catch the a clip here (

You know, another one of those special pineapple punches and she would have sucked him off with the camera rolling. Get 'dat girl another drink!

Kim Kardashian—wide-load, no underwear

Kim Kardashian is pregnant and some saw an advertising opportunity straightaway (

"A rep from Bel Bambini—a celeb-magnet baby shop in West Hollywood—tells TMZ, the store sent Kim a gift card for $1,000 the second they heard she was knocked up."

TMZ meanwhile used its "PhotoPregger3000" to jump ahead 7 months and several thousand preggie-fetishiests came in their pants.

The real bump-watching has started though ( Even at full-term, I don't think she'll match Jessica Simpsons prodigious bump-start.

Of course, this is Kim, so no prizes for guessing all that baby-weight is not just going to go on her tummy, so she took her rear wide-load out in she-thru pants with no underwear again (

Related stories:

Kim Kardashian showed a muffin-top! (Pick of the Week, 17th December).
LiLo in Furs

Lindsay Lohan flew to London to be "paid to party" by Brunei Prince (

Lindsay Lohan recieved $100,000 to party at lavish London gala for New Year's Eve with Brunei Prince Azim, who reportedly lavished her with alcohol and jizz gifts.

"Known worldwide as Prince Azim, he throws some of the wildest, most lavish bashes ever, topped off with gift bags stuffed with expensive party favors like iPads and jewelry dripping with diamonds."

Lindsay's London jaunt was originally suspected to be to have me paint her firecrotch for an appearance on Celebrity Big Brother UK, and some tongues are still wagging that she may still yet be making an appearance as she is still in town. But that could just as likely be because she may be facing 8 months in the pokey if she goes home (

Here's pics of Li-Lo in Furs at C restaurant in London (

Related stories:

Jessica Alba bikini candids in Cabo San Lucas

Jessica Alba showed off her super-slim figure in striped bikini in Cabo San Lucas ( and hey, she's doing that pose again! (

You can catch the pictures in HQ here (

Nicole Minetti gave an ass'tastic policial angle!

26-year-old Italian council member, former showgirl, and Silvio Berlusconi's former girlfriend Nicole Minetti froliced on the beach in Miami as her 76-year-old billionaire Berlusconi former boyfriend prepares to do political battle (

And what an ass'tastic policial angle she brought! (

Playboy runaway bride Crystal Harris

Crystal Harris wed Hugh Hefner in small ceremony at the Playboy mansion (

"He doesn't really take off his clothes. I've never seen Hef naked."

That wasn't the worst the former runaway bride had to say about Hef, but of course things being "not about the sex" is always the first thing forgotten after a messy brake up.

Related story:

Hef's engaged again to runaway bride Crystal Harris (Pick of the Week, 10th December 2012).

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Lily Cole bikini oops

Ginger model Lily Cole almost revealed too much after losing her bikini top on yacht getaway with Twitter founder Jack Dorsey ( …

But then she went topless anyway! Here's the pictures (

But of course, she has shown it ALL before ( That's a naked treat for you ginger-lovers!

Rita Ora holiday in Dubai

Such a Sheikh! Rita Ora adopted local dress on sunny holiday in Dubai, well on her head anyway (

"Sultry blonde Rita shared a snap of her wearing a traditional Arab headdress with sunglasses, simply captioning it: 'Ya Habibi', which can mean 'beloved' or 'darling'. "

Here's Rita in Dubai with some amazing pokies in the pool! (

Related story:

Rita Ora's cleavage celebrated Albania's 100th birthday (Pick of the Week, 10th December 2012).

Arts, tech. & funnies

Aristotle sex manual

Aristotle sex manual banned for 200 years to be auctioned (

"There are also interesting bits about the 17th century notion that it was considered beneficial for a woman to enjoy sexual intercourse in order to conceive. It suggests that both men and women should enjoy sex."

"That's interesting because much later on, when they realised that a woman didn't have to climax in order to conceive, the idea of a woman enjoying sex was considered far less important."

And women who enjoy it have been labelled with the S-word ever since. How "modern" and liberated we have become.

Art of the Enlightenment was so saucy!

Following on from that, The Guardian's Jonathan Jones takes a peephole look at why the art of the Enlightenment was so saucy (

"In the Regency cartoonist Thomas Rowlandson's picture The Exhibition Stare-Case, 'connoisseurs' are examining the underwear of women who have fallen down the spiral staircase at the Royal Academy"

See, that sort of thing went on long before the internet came along. Our current age of "moral decline" isn't anything new, indeed, every age seems to feel it's having one.

Triva for you. I'm a huge fan of William Hogarth. Whenever I get doubts about the sort of illustration I do, he's one of the sources to which I turn for reassurance.

Steve Bell's year in cartoons

Political cartoon and caricaturist Steve Bell took us through his year in cartoons (

"Steve Bell takes us through drawing the same old enemies in the year of cuts, pageantry and the Leveson inquiry. He talks about David Cameron's uncanny ability to preserve himself despite being permanently haunted by 'Medusa Gorgon Brooks', the Olympics with Cameron and Osborne as deranged mascots … and why he represents the chancellor in bondage gear."
Info: Belltoons (official site).
Miss Universe Contestant's auction original artwork

Miss Universe Contestant's auction original artwork (

"Auction winner will receive the original signed painting as we well as a signed headshot."

Just a note to let my femme-fans know they can get a smiley-headshot of moi with every commission if you like.

Related story:

Olivia Culpo crowned Miss Universe (Pick of the Week, 24th December).
Aceh town to ban female passengers from straddling motorcycles

Aceh town to ban female passengers from straddling motorcycles (

"We want to save women from things that will cause them to violate Shariah law. We wish to honor women with this ban, because they are delicate creatures"

What they gotta do, sit side-saddle? They plan to ban vibrating washing machines next week.

Spanish mothers strip off for austerity calendar

Spanish mothers strip off for austerity calendar (

"A group of Spanish mothers have stripped off for a racy calendar to raise the funds needed to resume a school bus service that was scrapped by cash-strapped authorities in an austerity drive."

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Crystal Harris, Jenni J-Woww Farley, Jessica Alba, Kathy Griffin, Kim Kardashian, Lily Cole, Lindsay Lohan, Nicki Minaj, Nicole Minetti, Rita Ora.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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