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Pick of the week

Pick of the week

28th January 2013

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Here's my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs!

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely lost out on some prime pussy to Harry Styles too.

No responsibility is taken for the content of any external websites to which links may lead. All links are verified safe with McAfee Site Advisor when posted.

This weeks stories & pics

Mila Kunis bare bottom for Fifty Shades of Grey
Mila Kunis to bare her bottom for a spanking in Fifty Shades of Grey film?
Mila Kunis for Fifty Shades of Grey?

Mila Kunis for Fifty Shades of Grey? (

"Mila Kunis thinks she'll have a 'good time' playing Anastasia Steele in the movie adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey. "

Last touted for the Anastasia role was Alexis Bledel after Emma Watson finally caned her rumour-bound interest in the role. Frankly though, with even the casting still in the rumour stage I wonder if it will get made while Fifty Shades is still spanking interest. Don't be suprised if in the end it goes direct-to-DVD with a reality-star cast.

But when does mommy-porn fantasy spanking get out of hand?

Recent/related stories:

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Nicole Scherzinger headlights on

Nicole Scherzinger suffered wardrobe malfunction and exposes chest in sheer dress ( …or rather oh no she'd didn't but "wardrobe malufunction" is such a great headline keyword!.

You can catch the HQ's of what she did show here (

Amanda Seyfried, Juno Temple, Sundance film festival

Take a load of that! Amanda Seyfried got upstaged by Lovelace co-star Juno Temple at at Sundance Film Festival (

Impossible! You know it's Amanda Seyfried taking a load in Lovelace you're dying to see!

Here's the pics.

Recent/related stories:

Amanda Seyfried deep-throated popsicles for Lovelace (Pick of the Week, 24th December 2012).
Amanda Seyfried's beaver stays hidden, winter coat or not (Pick of the Week, 11th February 2012).
Ashley Greene wet camel toe

Ashley Greene was either a lil' hot in that area or she peed herself—your call. (

Rihanna on Instagram
Rihanna hit Instagram again—with tongue pokeage! (celebritytonguedigest

And yep, that out for Instagram bodily flauntage slammin’ Jessie J.

Updated 16th April 2014.
Link changed.

Recent/related stories:

Kate Moss, Love magazine

Kate Moss bared her flower bush again, this time for Love (

Recent/related stories:

Kate Moss got topless in Vanity Fair (Pick of the Week, 6th November 2012).
Miley Cyrus braless for Cosmopolitan

Miley Cyrus went braless for Cosmopolitan (

"Miley tweeted on Jan. 25, 'Who ready for @cosmopolitan to start givin up the goods?!?! So excited for y'all to see my cover.'"

Here's the pics (

Updated 15th April 2013.
HQs from the Cosmo shoot: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (

Recent/related stories:

Speidi, Celebrity Big Brother

Heidi and Spencer "reveal" Celebrity Big Brother bad behaviour was "all an act" (

But oh crap, we've been lumbered with them now!

Celebrity Big Brother's Speidi reportedly land new UK TV reality show (

Okay, okay. We dumped Piers Morgan on you, USA, I guess dumping Speidi on us is your way of getting back. Damnit! I thought we were getting Lindsay Lohan for Celebrity GloryHole!

Congratulations to Rylan Clark, who did win (

Recent/related stories:

Lindsay Lohan, Max George Twitter

Lindsay Lohan moved her Max George pawn on Twitter chessboard, but found herself in reality-checkmate (

"Asked if he was dating Lindsay, he said: 'No, what's the right word for her? A yeah, a groupie.' "

So it wasn't a chivalric knight that drew the game to a close, just an easily steered rook.

Recent/related stories:

Braless Britney back behind the wheel

Britney Spears is braless and driving again (

With Jason Trawick no longer there to restrain them in a bra, Brit-Brit's massive funbags are free again to void the need for airbag crash protection behind the wheel on the road to Vegas!

Recent/related stories:

Vegas hotels in bidding war for Britney Spears (Pick of the Week, 22nd January).
Nicki Minaj stormed off American Idol set

"Maybe I should get off the f***ing panel": Nicki Minaj stormed off American Idol set after judges come to blows over contestant (

"Ninja-ass" Nicki or "combat-cans" Carey? Who is the Deadliest Diva?

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal stakes claim as contender for swimwear queen

Victoria's Secret superbabe Candice Swanepoel had better look out—Nina Agdal staked her claim as contender for swimwear queen (

Pics or it didn't happen.

Nina Agdal—Sauvage swimwear photoshoot (

Recent/related stories:

Candice Swanepoel, prefers Brazil, lives in a bikini! (Pick of the Week, 24th December 2012).

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Barbara Palvin Victoria's Secret Valentines photoshoot

Barbara Palvin reminds Valentine's day is on the way (

Taylor Swift rumoured meeting with Harry Styles

Taylor Swift sparked rumours she met with ex-boyfriend Harry Styles for talks about their split (

"The 23-year-old singer started dating the One Direction heartthrob after they met on US X Factor last November but they split at the beginning of January, apparently following a row while they were on holiday in the Caribbean."

Over her interest in antiques according to permed cheeky-chap Harry, I recall. Well, they worked for Kristen "lickityclit" Stewart, so did those new boobs work out for Taylor Swift too? Or was it just too late?

Bad news for Emma-lovers. Young Harry Styles stakes his claim up her too! (

When Taylor started dating Wand Erection's Harry, teen fans bombarded her with death-threat tweets. With him taking an interest in Emma, a lot of chapopolis pension money is being spent on poison pen letter postage right now.

Recent/related stories:

Has Taylor Swift had a boob job? (Pick of the Week, 22nd January).
Zahia Dehar Haute Couture Paris

French Sex scandal escort girl Zahia Dehar brought the Haute Couture boobage to Paris (

Here's Zahia Dehar's super-zexy striptease in La Cueva del Gato (The Cat Cave) by photographic arts duo Nick & Chloé from last year (, thanks NickiTags).

Info: Nick & Chloé (official site).
Updated 31st January
Info link changed.

Arts, tech. & funnies

Striker back in The Sun

Pete Nash's comic strip Striker is back … in The Sun! (

After a break-up in 2009, and a brief spell in Nuts—which didn't really work out as its readership are of an age well beyond any sport besides bowls—long-running football-and-WAGs fantasy comic strip Striker and The Sun's torrid relationship is back on!

Info: Striker (
Vladimir Tretchikoff's "Chinese Girl"

World's most replicated painting, Vladimir Tretchikoff's "Chinese Girl", aka "the Green Lady", to go up for sale (

Picasso stolen in Rotterdam

Romanians arrested over Dutch museum art heist (

As suspected, leads suggest link to Romanian organized crime (

Updated 11th September 2013.
“‘All the five paintings that were in Romania are now abroad, in the east—in my opinion, in Moldova…’ Dancu said … [and] the other two stolen artworks were in Belgium.”

Hmmm. Belgium, huh? I’d take a look in Marxist-Leninist giant pink bear Belgian radical rascal Maurice’s pad if I were you.

Recent/related stories:

Art thieves take seven masterpieces in Rotterdam art heist (Pick of the Week, 23rd October 2012).
Winter Facebook flashing

Wiltshire's Facebook craze for stripping off in the snow went viral (

"While Britain shivers in the big freeze, hundreds of hardy souls have joined a new craze—posing naked for a snapshot in the snow."

See, that's really what Facebook is for, a pretence to hope to eventually see people you have no connection or no interest in get naked, which you don't. But does baring your bits, or rather the hope of seeing seeing your "friends" bare their bits to Jack Frost make you happy? Not really? German research suggests rampant envy on Facebook making lives miserable (

"Social interaction was the second most common cause of envy as users could compare how many birthday greetings they received to those of their Facebook friends and how many 'likes' or comments were made on photos and postings."

Recent/related stories:

G-spot injection

The G-shot for your G-spot! (

"The £550 [approx. $860] injection, available at an Essex clinic, claims to give women a boost in the bedroom by pumping filler into their G-spots."

Alas, I'm guessing it gives a 9 inch futa clit-cock too.

Julian Assange hits out at Wikileaks film

Assange hit out at WikiLeaks film (

"WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has hit out at a Hollywood film about his organisation as a 'massive propaganda attack' against the whistle-blowing website."

But that the reason the British public should be concerned about the film …

"'The British public should be concerned about the film because of the involvement of Cumberbatch', said Assange"

Whoa! Sherlock's in on it!

Assange then retired to stationary cupboard in Embassy of that paragon nation of Human Rights, Ecuador, to plan his next Russian broadcast interview with Moriarty and Taliban warlords under the patronage of Latin American Dictators Union representative Rafael Correa.

Hypocrisy ends hero's freedom to preach (

"Assange was previously a 'principled and plucky champion of freedom of speech', […] but 'the moment Assange decided to seek shelter in Ecuador … he betrayed the principles he claimed to represent …"
Gardener cleared of assault after Fifty Shades of Grey sex session

Gardener cleared of assault after Fifty Shades of Grey sex session (, thanks ClaireBear).

"A gardener has been cleared of assault after being prosecuted over a sexual liaison inspired by the best-selling novel Fifty Shades of Grey that allegedly went too far."

Shouldn't he have been doing Lady Chatterley's Lover or isn't Sean Bean the mommy's favourite any more? I think that this may be the crux of the matter concerning the dislike of the "mommy-porn" expressed by some men who, no strangers to hardcore-porn, raise consternation that the same aimed at women features (light) BDSM.

In much female erotica fantasy there is an implicit understanding of a fantasy that rarely translates into a desire to turn it into reality which can be lost in translation on the journey from Venus to Mars.

Recent/related stories:

Fifty Shades of Grey removed from Brazil bookstores (Latina Pick of the Week, 23rd January).
Fifty Shades of Grey porn rip-off spurs legal action (Pick of the Week, 3rd December 2012).

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Amanda Seyfried, Ashley Greene, Barbara Palvin, Britney Spears, Fifty Shades of Grey, Heidi Montag, Juno Temple, Kate Moss, Lindsay Lohan, literoctica, Mila Kunis, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Nicole Scherzinger, Nina Agdal, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Zahia Dehar.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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