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Pick of the week

Pick of the week

4th February 2013

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Here's my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs!

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely tried to phone in sick too.

No responsibility is taken for the content of any external websites to which links may lead. All links are verified safe with McAfee Site Advisor when posted.

This weeks stories & pics

Has Lady Gaga has bored the internet?
Research claims Lady Gaga has bored the internet! More performances with meat on the horizon.
Research claims Lady Gaga has bored the internet

Lady Gaga has bored the internet, research claims (, thanks NickiTags).

"The search engine marketing agency—citing data from Google Trends—has described the decline in the performer's internet presence as 'astonishing'."

That could be because the glass bowl that is Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, aka "the internet" has the attention span of the goldfish within watching viral "epic fail" videos that prove that the late Jeremy Beadle was indeed apotheosized and sits beardly on high on a campstool running things.

Here's Gaga in concert boring Texan country fans in Dallas ( who thought the baby bites the other ones finger video hilarious!

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga split her pants (Pick of the Week, 22nd January).
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Lindsay Lohan called to court, rudely interrupting her shopping

Lindsay Lohan headed to court after mom's "not well" call didn't wash. Damn! It always used to work! (

"Lohan had initially claimed she was too ill to fly to Los Angeles for tomorrow's (January 30) hearing, it has been reported [but] changed her mind after being photographed on a shopping trip in SoHo, New York."

Here's the LiLo in the courthouse pics ( When they make the courthouse porno, I'm sure James Deen will get a role with a line like "I have to serve this hard indictment somewhere, miss Lohan."

Lindsay Lohan sues fashion line

But, you know, all those legal fees are so damn expensive, and the girl's got shopping to do!

Lohan sues firm over fashion line (

"The lawsuit claims a clothing manufacturer who previously worked with the Mean Girls star continues to sell items under the actress' 6126 Collection, which started out as a legging brand and had ambitions to expand into other clothing items."

I'm guessing the used-panties thing didn't work out either.

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal camel toe Atlantic Cod-Fish Sandwich for Superbowl

Carl's Jr. decided to use Nina Agdal's bikini camel toe to sell Atlantic Cod-Fish Sandwich for Superbowl (

Recent/related stories:

Amanda Seyfried see-thru dress at SAG Awards

Amanda Seyfried's see-thru dress made SAG Awards worth mentioning (

Recent/related stories:

Jessica Alba to dance again in Sin City sequel

Jessica Alba to dance again in Sin City sequel (

"[…] performed a raunchy routine in the first film, admitted she needed three months training before she reprised her role as exotic dancer Nancy Callahan in Robert Rodriguez's follow-up, A Dame To Kill For."
Updated 28th February 2014.
Jessica Alba, Sin City: A Dame to Kill
“Nancy Callahan becomes the avenging angel. Sounds like a Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez type show.”

Recent/related stories:

Jessica Alba is doing that pose again (Pick of the Week, 7th January).
Britney Spears' bra-less boobs still on the loose

Britney Spears' huge braless boobs were still on the loose (

Recent/related stories:

Britney Spears is braless and driving again (Pick of the Week, 28th January).
Vegas hotels in bidding war for Britney Spears (Pick of the Week, 22nd January).
Olivia Wilde, Vanity Fair

Olivia Wilde got burlesque-ey for Vanity Fair (

Sarah Stephens, Agent Provacateur

Sarah Stephens was an ass'tastic Agent Provacateur (

Info: Sarah Stephens (
Baby-bump Kim Kardashian is going to be gigantic

Yup, baby-bump Kim Kardashian is going to be gigantic (

Recent/related stories:

Bling Ring targeted homes of Paris, Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom and others

"Bling Ring" felon sentanced (

"Courtney Leigh Ames is one of a group of young people dubbed the 'Bling Ring' for targeting the homes of celebrities such as Paris, Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom and others."

And to re-affirm the pace of modern stardom the film version may be out before final sentancing.

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Miley Cyrus bikini fitness in Costa Rica

Miley Cyrus gave some fitness bikini ass in Costa Rica (

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus went braless for Cosmo (Pick of the Week, 28th January).
Lena Katina, Maxim Russia

t.A.T.u.'s Lena Katina bared her bum in Maxim Russia (

Ron Jeremy left fighting for life after heart aneurysm

Legendary porn-star Ron Jeremy left fighting for life after heart aneurysm (

Wishing a speedy recovery.

Arts, tech. & funnies

Serbian PM Basic Instinct treatment in in no-knickers prank interview

Serbian PM Ivica Dacic got the Basic Instinct treatment in in no-knickers prank interview (

"He thought he was in the studio to answer questions on Balkan politics—but instead was treated to a full-frontal from the show's sexy presenter. "

Just to let you know, I am available to discuss Balkan politics at short notice, just give me a call.

FEMEN protesting with titties again

Those topless FEMEN protestors are at it again. No protest from me! (

Recent/related stories:

FEMEN stage topless protest at World Economic Forum (Pick of the Week, 29th January 2012).
Human Barbie and Ken doll's at war

Human dolls go to war (

"A model who has turned herself into a living Barbie paired up with a real-life Ken…and they hated the sight of each other."

This of course is Valeria Lukyanova, and I'm betting this sheds light on the real state of the Barbie and Ken's relationship; don't tell me you didn't know he was banging Sindy too!

Recent/related stories:

Is "Human Barbie"Valeria Lukyanova a Photoshopped fake? (Pick of the Week, 26th November 2012).
Japanese pop star shaves head in penance for sex scandal

Japanese pop star Minami Mingeshi of AKB48 shaves head in penance for sex scandal (

"It would be nice to think that punishing women for having sexual relationships had been relegated to the history books by 2013. However, as one very public act of penance from a Japanese popstar has shown, in some contexts it's still judged a moral crime. "

And isn't that a shockingly sadly true double-standard.

Disney cancels 3D Star Wars reissues

Take off those dopey glasses: Disney cancels 3D Star Wars reissues (

"This surprising decision follows the underwhelming box office performance of Episode I: The Phantom Menace re-released in 3D in February 2012."

And so the 3D craze, the never really improving gimmick which they bring back every decade or so, is over again.

Recent/related stories:

George Lucas originally wanted Star Wars FOUR trilogies! (Pick of the Week, 24th December 2012).
Disney bought Star Wars. Nooooooo! (Pick of the Week, 6th November 2012).
Cheque hid in Milton Keynes Art Gallery

Artist Tomas Georgeson hid £8,000 (approx. $12612) cheque in Milton Keynes Art Gallery to boost visitor numbers (, thanks ClaireBear).

"Milton Keynes Gallery said it had no prior knowledge of Tomas Georgeson's apparent attempt to boost its visitor numbers by concealing the cheque—with the payee left blank—in one of its public spaces."

Everyone knows sex sells, but if they are not buying, offering a chance to make money is surely the next best thing to pull them in, just ask any internet affiliate scheme.

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Amanda Seyfried, Britney Spears, Jessica Alba, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Lena Katina, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Nina Agdal, Olivia Wilde, Sarah Stephens.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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