Pick of the week
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Here's my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There's pictures—reading optional.
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely saw your boobs too.
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This weeks stories & pics
"According to The Sun, a source said: 'To say Tulisa is gutted is an understatement. She's a bit embarrassed to be on the scrapheap when she delivered with Little Mix.'"
So where did it all go wrong? Outshone by Nicole Scherzinger's ‘Jahmazing's’, drown in Rylan Clark's tears, or all too much of a Little Pick 'n' Mix? Or having seen that tape, is Simon sulking over what he missed out on?
Here's Tulisa taking her baps as takeaway from London's Nobu Berkeley Restaurant (hawtcelebs.com).
"[…] between his ‘racist jokes, adolescent boy humor, silliness on the topic of domestic abuse, a Kardashian reference,’ and excessive use of pre-taped bits, MacFarlane wasn't the ‘elegant showman’ the Oscars demand."
What did they expect—did they not know what his humour was when they booked him?
The Current Bun, bless 'em, courteously provided the best boobie bits from Seth's "We Saw Your Boobs" Oscars song (thesun.co.uk) …
And Olivia Munn tried her best to show hers at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party with enough side-boob to make Peter Griffin proud (hotcelebshome.com). Hah! We nearly saw your boobs!
"THE red-hot unedited version of Kim Kardashian's world-famous sex tape narrowly escaped being destroyed in a blaze."
In case you didn't know, rumour has it that the unedited master contains the infamous golden shower scene between Kim and Ray J that she negotiated to keep out of the Vivid release.
And this must be from master tailor, Kayne (thesuperficial.com).
No, I'm not quite sure where he's going with that either.
Nicki Minaj flashed pasties covered boobs in new music video (egotastic.com) …
And Mariah Carey slipped a nip at So So Def Anniversary (gossipcop.com).
Jenni J-Woww Farley duct-taped her boobs for NOH8 (celebuzz.com) …
And flashed some serious side boob in Sin City (egotastic.com).
Kristen Stewart ignored texts from soon-to-be-divorced Rupert Sanders (celebrity.uk.msn.com).
"Rupert Sanders is reportedly hoping to rekindle his relationship with Kristen Stewart but she is not interested."
I bet there's a lot of tongue wiggling in the video calls Rupe's been trying to leave for her too.
Cheryl Cole showed some cheek with Girls Aloud in London (hotcelebshome.com).
Karina Derizans gave some ass-tastic bikini candids at Miami Beach (hotcelebshome.com).
Further proof that Miami really is the place to be at the moment! Oh, well. We have Southend-on-Sea at least.
The Catalina, CW's new reality series about South Beach party hotel (huffingtonpost.com).
.:: Top column 2 ::.
"Despite swirls and swells about the Internet of the above picture depicting Vanessa Hudgens snorting lines of coke off of the bare chest of a topless Selena Gomez for a scene in Spring Breakers […] sadly, this is not Selena Gomez laying topless across the bed."
Whose are the mystery boobs?
Here's Selena Gomez showing enough cleavage at Vanity Fair Oscar Party to remind you what you'll be missing (hawtcelebs.com).
Spot the difference: Miley Cyrus, Cosmopolitan International covers (hawtcelebs.com).
Miss Delaware Teen USA Melissa King resigned after porn video controversy (huffingtonpost.com).
You can catch some sticky stills and a link to the actual porn video here (egotastic.com).
Arts, tech. & funnies
Beyoncé wanted £50,000 fee to attend Essex carnival (thesun.co.uk).
"They had wanted a big name at this summer's bash and ambitiously invited singers Britney Spears and Rod Stewart—and even the QUEEN. So when Beyonce, 31, was the only one to reply the Maldon Carnival Association in Essex couldn't believe its luck."
Believe me, Essex carnivals are more a tinsel and egg boxes sort of thing. Flippen' hell! We paid less to the Vikings at the Battle of Maldon in 991AD!
"It appears that a technical glitch accidentally caused an inappropriate image from the internet to appear momentarily on the screen."
Yeah, I've used that one when porn has popped up in a slideshow too. It just sorta jumped on to the hard drive when I wasn't lookin', honest. More tea, Vicar?
Crocodile spotted in River Thames turned out to be James Bond movie prop (telegraph.co.uk).
Lara Croft, the changing face—and other bits—of the Tomb Raider star (tech.uk.msn.com).
"The latest instalment of the Tomb Raider series hits the shops on 5 March and the newest ‘form’ of Lara Croft got us thinking about all the different variations of gaming's most famous heroine."
Ian Livingstone CBE, co-creator of Games Workshop and those Fighting Fantasy choose your own adventure books is Life President of Eidos (Tomb Raider creator acquired by Square Enix, in 2009) and served as Executive Chairman of Eidos plc from 1995 until 2002, helping to secure many of the company's major franchises including Lara Croft:Tomb Raider and Hitman.
Toby Gard, Croft's creator, was inspired by pop artist Neneh Cherry and comic book character Tank Girl for the character, initially envisioning her as a tough South American woman named Laura Cruz.
And on a much more serious note
Friday 1st March was Self-Injury Awareness Day (metro.co.uk).
"Too often self-harmers seeking help in hospitals meet hostility or impatience."
Self-Injury Awareness Day occurs on 1st March every year, and has done so for well over a decade. You can find out more to help those you feel may be suffering at the Life Signs site (link in the Metro story).
Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.
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Tags: Beyonce, Cheryl Cole, Karina Derizans, Jenni J-Woww Farley, Kim Kardashian, Kristen Stewart, Mariah Carey, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Olivia Munn, Selena Gomez, Tulisa Contostavlos, Vanessa Hudgens.
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