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Pick of the week

Pick of the week

13th March 2013

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Here's my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There's pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely #QuitTwitterToo.

No responsibility is taken for the content of any external websites to which links may lead. All links are verified safe with McAfee Site Advisor when posted.

This weeks stories & pics

Spring Breakers nude
The nudity in Spring Breakers may not be going to be what we hoped, but we can make do.
Taylor Swift claims image of her is wrong

Taylor Swift claimed image of her is all wrong, wrong, wrong! (

"She said ‘tabloid culture’ had turned her into a ‘fictional character’."

That is indeed what tabloids do, because fictional characters are oh, so much more interesting, as Chelsea Handler, following their lead, seemed to find (

"‘They think they're going to have sex with her and every guy thinks—just like when they date a lesbian, they … ’"

No, I wont finish Chelsea's quote. It sounds too much like what old men say on Facebook when a fem won't send them nude piccies.

Here's Taylor at London's Brit Awards in an Elie Saab black number drawing attention to that area which the lucky guy will finally entering in the bedroom rodeo (

Recent/related stories:

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Jennifer Love Hewitt wants to insure her breasts for $5 million

Jennifer Love Hewitt wanted to insure her boobs for $5 million (

"… ‘Do it. Love it! Why not?’ These things right here are worth $5 million!"

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus quit Twitter over wedding cancellation rumours

Miley Cyrus quit Twitter again over wedding cancellation rumours (

"I am so sick of LA. And sick of the lies that come with it. I didn't call off my wedding. Taking a break from social media. #draining" (

But how long before that really longue tongue starts lolling out and she just has to take a masochistic peek again?

Updated 29th March 2013.
It wasn’t long, tweeting "Music is my only focus now" a couple of weeks later ( Music and tweeting I guess she meant.

I know quite how she feels. I was on Twitter once, but I couldn't quite find where the "social" bit came in, but I was offered loads of #freebeats.

Hmm. That #hashtag gets everywhere nowadays. I should use it more often.

Probably a rather prudent move for Miley though, even if just for a week as, after all, the #oldpeople on there just pulled the barriers down on that young Bieber chap when his out of control emotions left his Batmobile half-way across the rail crossing, leaving him nowhere to turn but to God,which is flippin' awful, as that old beared codger hates weed, and indeed, once burnt a whole fucking bush of it.

Honestly, am I the only one who can remember just how narky and badly behaved they were at that age? And if I'd had his flippin' money, blimey, I'd have been barred from every pub and club in Essex. Charlie Sheen flips out and he's a national hero. And speaking of …

Charlie Sheen wants to mentor Lindsay Lohan

Charlie Sheen wants to molest mentor Lindsay Lohan (

"She can continue to hang out with her dress shredding club buddies, or turn to me for some advice from a guy who's been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey."

Well, pilgrim, just how do you say no to that. Hey, he might give her Georgia Jones or another of his porn-star Goddesses though, and what a helluva tape that will be when it leaks. #winning

Recent/related stories:

Charlie Sheen made Georgia Jones a Goddess! (Pick of the Week, 14th January).
Nicole Scherzinger Comic Relief concert

Nicole Scherzinger gave it up for Comic Relief (

Recent/related stories:

Courtney Stodden's breasts went jogging

Courtney Stodden's breasts went jogging (

Recent/related stories:

Courtney Stodden slipped a nip in music video (Pick of the Week, 25th February).
Kimberley Garner upskirt

Made In Chelsea's Kimberley Garner gave an upskirt in London (

Atomic Kitten's Liz McClarnon

Atomic Kitten's Liz McClarnon gave upskirts and downblouse to remind you they are back (

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Selena Gomez cheeky for music video

Selena Gomez got cheeky for music video (

Recent/related stories:

Spring Breakers promotional stills

Selena Gomez copping a feel of Vanessa Hudgens' ass in Spring Breakers promos (

Oh, and there's this delightful one of Vanessa Hudgens simulating a blowjob with Ashley Benson (

Recent/related stories:

Spring Breakers trailer (Pick of the Week, 22nd January).
Emma Watson, The Bling Ring

Emma Watson danced provocatively in new trailer for The Bling Ring (

"The British actress plays the leading role in the Sofia Coppola-directed movie about the real life Bling Ring or The Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch as they were known whom were arrested in 2009 for a string of break-ins at the homes of stars including Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton."

The "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch?" No suprise changed that to Bling Ring.

Updated 21st March 2013.
Here's the still shots of Emma's tongue flick from that clip, for all you tongue lovers (celebritytonguedigest
Updated 14th April 2014.

Images link changed.

Recent/related stories:

Bling Ring felon sentanced (Pick of the Week, 4th February).

Arts, tech. & funnies

First ever Hebrew edition of Playboy on sale in Israel

Playboy went on sale in its first ever Hebrew edition in strictly conservative Israel (

"The new version of the popular men's magazine in the Holy Land will feature Israeli models and articles by Israeli writers … other adult magazines and videos have been freely available but not with local models and not in Hebrew."

Recent/related stories:

Playboy Club to open in India (Pick of the Week, 19th November 2012).
Madonna's conical Gaultier bra and corset to go on show

Madonna's conical Gaultier bustier to go on show (

"They will feature in a major exhibition devoted to the French couturier at London's Barbican next year."

Recent/related stories:

World Naked Bike Ride

Cyclists stripped off for the annual World Naked Bike Ride (

You name it, Jim'll Paint It

Guardian art critic Jonathan Jones ponders art nostalgia in a digital fashion with Jim'll Paint It and Microsoft Paint (

"For anyone who is really trapped in the past, daddy-o, I am talking here about ‘painting‘ on a computer screen, not making a mess with gooey colours and real brushes. Using his archaically primitive Paint software, Jim has recently created scenes that include Jesus riding a motorbike into Hitler's bunker, Nigella Lawson eating …."
Disney turns away from hand-drawn animation

Disney turns away from hand-drawn animation (

"Studio says none of its animation companies are working in the traditional 2D format, and there are no current plans to do so again"
Dita Von Teese's 3D printed dress

Is Dita Von Teese's 3D printed dress the sauciest use of the tech yet? (

"It was made from 17 different printed sections, which were then dyed black and lacquered. It was made to fit the exact body contours of Von Teese—who wore a flesh-coloured basque underneath."

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Tags: Ashley Benson, Courtney Stodden, Dita Von Teese, Emma Watson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Kimberley Garner, Lindsay Lohan, Liz McClarnon, Madonna, Miley Cyrus, Nicole Scherzinger, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Vanessa Hudgens.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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