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Pick of the week

Pick of the week

19th March 2013

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Here's my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There's pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and are likely just surfing on that pop-exploitation riff like "Spring Breakers" too.

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This weeks stories & pics

Emma Watson still bound to Fifty Shades of Grey rumours
Still with no director named for the film adaption, casting stuck at the wish list stage, and Watson's repeated trenchant denials it seems hacktivism had to jump the shark at some stage, and I guess this was it.
Anonymous hackers leaked documents claiming Emma Watson attached to Fifty Shades of Grey film

Emma Watson for Fifty Shades of Grey after all, or just hacktivists foolin' with a studio wish list? (

"… Anonymous hackers leaked documents from German studio Constantin Film, with one page allegedly saying Watson is attached to star in the highly-anticipated movie."

Still with no director named for the film adaption, casting stuck at the wish list stage, and Watson's repeated trenchant denials it seems hacktivism had to jump the shark at some stage, and I guess this was it.

Updated 13th June 2018

Dead link. Apologies.

Recent/related stories:

Mila Kunis for Fifty Shades of Grey? (Pick of the Week, 28th January)
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories

Christina Aguilera showed off her smaller figure and bigger hair in Pitbull's new video (

Recent/related stories:

Lindsay Lohan lost lawsuit against rapper Pitbull (Pick of the Week, 25th February)
Nicki Minaj, Elle photoshoot

Nicki Minaj felt naked during Elle photoshoot but wasn't, which is a shame (

You can catch Nicki's Elle photoshoot here (

Recent/related stories:

Lindsay Lohan forgave Justin Bieber's outburst

Lindsay Lohan forgave Justin Bieber for Instagram cheap shot (

Maybe she's just only too aware of what it's like having a bullseye on her back in the public arena, or maybe she remembers being a narky badly behaved teenager herself. Or maybe she's just showing a long-coming streak of latent professionalism by letting her rep diplomatically reply rather than firing back on her Blackberry while peeing pure vodka on the throne at 3 a.m. Maybe with her impending court case she couldn't care less, or is considering a narky 19 year old a better bet for a mentor than Charlie Sheen.

Recent/related stories:

Nicole Scherzinger not slutty but success

Nicole Scherzinger said "I sometimes wish I were more slutty. I'd probably be a lot more successful if I were." (

Okay, who's Nicole having a pop at at there? You can read the full article here (

Recent/related stories:

Nicole Scherzinger gave it up for Comic Relief (Pick of the Week, 13th March)
Rihanna showed off her nipple piercing for Comic Relief

Rihanna showed off her nipple piercing for Comic Relief ( …

Jessie J head shaved for Comic Relief

And because she doesn't need to do that sort of thing Jessie J had her head shaved for Comic Relief (

And then spent the next three hours working out at the Y over RiRi's nipple.

Recent/related stories:

Halle Berry huge boobage for Jay Leno

Halle Berry had some huge boobage for Jay Leno (

Kelly Brook Candice underwater photoshoot

Kelly Brook, Keira Knightley and Lily Cole gave Captain Nemo a helluva boner! (

Eniko Mihalik, Elle France

Hungarian model Enikö Mihalik gave some topless goodness for Elle France (

Info: Enikö Mihalik (
Adrianne Curry naked tweets

Adrianne Curry gave more naked tweets.

1 | 2 (

Recent/related stories:

Adrianne Curry showered for Twitter (Pick of the Week, 18th February)
Claudia Romani flashed her bare bottom

Claudia Romani flashed her bare bottom (

Info: Claudia Romani (

Recent/related stories:

Kimberley Garner Barbados bikini candids

Kimberley Garner gave Barbados some ass'tastic bikini photoshoot candids (

Recent/related stories:

Kimberley Garner gave an upskirt in London (Pick of the Week, 13th March)
Eva Herzigova bared her bum for footwear ad

Eva Herzigova bared her bum for footwear ad (

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Spring Breakers premier reviews

So, okay, the first Spring Breakers reviews are in. How'd it do? (

Los Angeles Times: "In the end, it's the strip club leer that hardens into a catatonic stare, which in its way is commentary enough for a pop-exploitation riff like ‘Spring Breakers.’"

Well, it is a Harmony Korine film, so you knew what to expect, right? No?

Updated 5th April 2013.

The Telegraph’s 2-star take (

"In some ways, Korine has created a mirage—a film with hugely sellable superficial appeal, but one so determined to undermine these skin-deep expectations it becomes an intentionally abortive spiral into nothing."

The Guardian’s more generous 3-out-of-5 (

"Spring Breakers is Korine’s most technically competent and fluent movie; probably his most commercial, his funniest, perhaps even his least irritating."
Rachel Korine, Spring Breakers premiere, Los Angeles

Here's Rachel Korine at Spring Breakers Premiere in Los Angeles (

Updated 14th April 2013
Spring Breakers HQ promo posters
Lot’s of tongue poking & bikini ass grabbing Spring Breakers HQ promo posters here (, updated 16th December 2017, link changed).

Recent/related stories:

Spring Breakers trailer (Pick of the Week, 22nd January).

Arts, tech. & funnies

European Parliament forced to remove a call for a ban on all forms of pornography

European Parliament was forced to remove a call for a ban on all forms of pornography but voted for measures to regulate media portrayal of women (

"Marina Yannakoudakis MEP, the Conservative spokesman on women's rights and in the European Parliament, remained critical of proposals despite the dropping of the ban. ‘This would be a charter for ultra-feminist interference in the way countries choose to run their media systems,’ she said."

Recent/related stories:

Furore over pornographic New Zealand tourism logo

Furore over "pornographic" New Zealand tourism logo (, thank you Apakura).

"… an Otaki Community Board member, suggested that the curvy lines could be misinterpreted. ‘I have had feedback from the public that this 'k' image with its bent leg, at the knee, is more than mildly pornographic,' she said."

Na, I just don't see it. But I do think that the UKIP logo is more than mildly reminiscent of our local Pound Shop logo.

Pan And The Goat to be displayed at the British Museam

Erotic Pompeii goat statue arrives in the British Museum (

"One of Naples's most prized artworks, a statue of Pan having sex with a goat, will go on show in the British Museum's Pompeii exhibition."

Well, he was half 'n half I guess.

Trivia: The statue, "Pan And The Goat" was kept behind locked doors in the Secret Museum in Naples in the early part of the last century deemed it suitable for viewing by only a select few studious enough to place it in the context of the lingering Victorian attitudes to ancient Greco-Roman culture prevalent at the time.

Recent/related stories:

Roman brothel tokens give a peep at the rise of erotic art (Pick of the Week, 13th January 2012)
Jim Bowen was briefly elected Pope

Bullseye's Jim Bowen was briefly elected Pope (

"Anyone visiting Bowen's page on Wikipedia will have spotted an update announcing his new role as head of the Catholic church. ‘On 13 March 2013 he was elected by the conclave of cardinals to serve as Pope,’ the text read. ‘He chose the name Francis I.’"
‘Monkey’ is in the top 10 list of passwords, but this is an ape!

Reckon your password is unique? The Top 25 most common passwords (

‘letmein’, ‘qwerty’, and yes, ‘Monkey’ are in the top 10 list of passwords; but that's a fuckin' ape so it's no wonder you can't log-in! Anyway, if your's is on there, go change it now.

Don't think anyone would use such weak passwords? I managed to side-step into a part-time lecturer position just out of my teens at an Essex college and during the 4 years I was there you could guarantee to logon to the network with several colleagues passwords of "staff", as many nawty students did, me being one.

Updated 5th September 2014.
“@msleamichele: I was HACKED! Guess @chriscolfer and I should have known better then to make our passwords the names of our cats:)”

And if your favourite model auto posted all over your Instagram is your secret security question you might as well have just left your password “itsasecret” too.

Main story link changed because The Current Bun went paywall (5th Aug. 2013).

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Adrianne Curry, Christina Aguilera, Claudia Romani, Emma Watson, Eniko Mihalik, Eva Herzigova, Halle Berry, Jessie J, Keira Knightley, Kelly Brook, Kimberley Garner, Lily Cole, Lindsay Lohan, Nicki Minaj, Nicole Scherzinger, Rachel Korine, Rihanna.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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