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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

30th April 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely photobombed Kim’s ass instead.

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This weeks stories & pics

XXXtina boobage
XXXtina boobage, as appreciated as always!
Kristen Stewart out for a ride with…

Was that Rupert Sanders picking up Kristen Stewart on same day Robert Pattinson jetted out of LA? (

“In addition to Kristen's mystery male companion looking suspiciously like her former flame, the vehicle in question appeared to be a black Acura—the same model as the one owned by Sanders.”

Damn! Lickityclit busted!

Recent/related stories:

Jessica Alba revealed “brutal” corset regime

Jessica Alba revealed brutal corset regime! (

“It was brutal; it’s not for everyone. I wore a double corset day and night for three months. It was sweaty, but worth it.”
Jessica Alba, Net-A-Porter magazine

It certainly worked a treat!

Here’s Jessica giving some pokies for Net-A-Porter magazine (

Recent/related stories:

Jessica Alba to dance again in Sin City sequel (Pick of the Week, 4th February)
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Rihanna sparked boob job rumours with Instagrams

Rihanna sparked boob job rumours with her Instagrams (

“Riri posted a photo last night getting her hair done for a photoshoot, with nothing by a towel loosely covering her upper half. And she does certainly appear somewhat ‘fuller’ than her bikini vacation pics from two days before. They [sic] difference does have some claiming ‘boob job’.”

Which VH1 goes on to clearly refute by plotting a timeline. I caught that first in the Yahoo post VH1 attributes as the source, and I’d say that sparked the rumour rather than RiRi’s Instagrams per se, showing again that Yahoo knows only too well the headline SEO value of an ‘oops’ or ‘boob job’ headline.

This is not the first time this rumour has arose. Late last year it was “reported” that RiRi was considering a boob job to please Chris Brown (, October 2012). It just goes to show that like the 50 Shades role for Emma Watson, a rumour can, and often does linger on, ready to leap up with only the slightest encouragement well after it is squashed.

RiRi boob job rumour simple that

Here’s a bigger copy of the Instagram piccie in question anyhow, and a couple more posted at the same time which seem to instantly refute the rumour too: 1 | 2 (

Yep, as you will know if you are a regular reader, I’m pretty keen on that last piccie. Hell, and here’s one of the booty just for luck.


Aside from her boob job, RiRi hit out at long-time rival Ciara on Instagram (, suggesting that Ciara allows the media to “play her”.

“She don’t be shame tho? How she let em play her like that everytime?? It’s like, ‘yea I know you’re here to about (insert album title) but we wanna talk about a more relevant topic… Rihanna!!!”

Ouch! Hey, they’ve both had nude piccies leaked; it could time for some more now the fued is back on!

Recent/related stories:

Rihanna braless see-through photoshoot outtakes (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Christina Aguilera, Time 100 Gala

Christina Aguilera gave some boobage at the Time 100 Gala in NYC (…

And made a new friend (

“I’m a big fan of yours,” [Girls creator Lena Dunham] tells Christina. “You’re amazing.”

Recent/related stories:

Xtina & Alejandro Fernandez to do telenovela duet (Latina Pick of the Week, 24th April)
Xtina splashed out on new home (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Kim Kardashian see-through skirt

Kanye West had to cover Kim Kardashian’s see-through modesty ( and…

Kris and Kourtney photobombed in London

Kris & Kourtney got photobombed in London (

Hey, that’s just how we que over here.

Recent/related stories:

Gwyneth Paltrow went commando for Iron Man 3 premiere

Gwyneth Paltrow went commando for Iron Man 3 premiere ( …

Wanting you to know that she doesn’t shave down there (

“Well, let’ just say everyone went scrambling for a razor. I work a ’70s vibe. You know what I mean?”

Oh yes we do—we’ve seen it: 1 | 2 (

She was then crowned the world’s most beautiful woman by People, and then it all turns ugly on Twitter! (

Gwyneth Paltrow, People’s most beautiful
“Miss Paltrow, 40, received a barrage of abuse on Twitter after being awarded the crown by US magazine People, which praised her ‘timeless look’.”

Does anything ever not turn ugly on Twitter?

Updated 14th May 2013.

Gwyneth’s 70s vibe story updated.

Updated 8th May 2013.
Helen Flanagan, The Sun lingerie photoshoot

Corrie’s Helen Flanagan was very revealing in The Sun’s lingerie photoshoot (

Blimey! So that’s where Megan Fox’s negative bipolar Marilyn tattoo jumped to! And speaking of Megan…

Megan Fox, The Sharper Image photoshoot

Megan Fox “The Sharper Image” photoshoot (

Info: Helen Flanagan (

Recent/related stories:

Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton

French Closer magazine photographer and publisher charged in probe into topless pictures of Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton (

Updated 6th September 2017.

Duchess wins damages over topless photos (

“The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been awarded 100,000 euros (£92,000) in damages after a French magazine printed topless pictures of Catherine. A French court ruled the images used by Closer—taken as the couple holidayed in Provence five years ago - had been an invasion of their privacy. The royals will donate the funds to charity, the BBC understands. The judge fined Closer magazine’s editor and owner 45,000 euros—the maximum amount allowed.”

German tabloid Bild having got the royal wind up publishing a picture of Duchess of Cambridge bare bottom too (Pick of the Week, Jun., 2014).

Recent/related stories:

Pussycat Dolls Carmit Bachar spoke out about salvation that came through performing

Pussycat Doll’s Carmit Bachar spoke out about salvation that came through performing (

“But one of the Dolls was intent on communicating a different message. Carmit Bachar, ‘the redhead’ from the group’s original line-up, was born with a facial deformity, in the form of a cleft lip and palate.”

What an awesomely brave woman. #Invictus

Carmit is a celebrity ambassador for that transforms lives suffering from a cleft lip or cleft palate across the globe. Visit to find out more.

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Miley Cyrus, Beverly Hills pins

Miley Cyrus’s pins were out & about in Beverley Hills (

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus was short shorts cheeky! (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Miley Cyrus gave some balconey bum flashing (Pick of the Week, 15th April)
Adrianne Curry, topless dip on Instagram

Adrianne Curry went for a topless dip on Instagram (

Recent/related stories:

Adrianne Curry gave more naked tweets (Pick of the Week, 19th March)
Adrianne Curry showered for Twitter (Pick of the Week, 18th February)
Xenia Deli no panties oops

Oops! Moldovan Supermodel Xenia Deli wasn’t wearing any drawers & flashed her smooth pussy walking her dog (

Info: Xenia Deli (

Recent/related stories:

Arts, tech. & funnies

Porn impacts sexual behavior less than you might think, study suggests

Porn impacts sexual behavior less than you might think, study suggests (

“Pornography is not as big and bad a wolf as we thought it was, and maybe we should focus on other factors. It explains a portion of sexual behavior, but it is modest,” Gert Martin Hald, a clinical psychologist at the University of Copenhagen and the study‘s lead author, told HealthDay.

Recent/related stories:

Sex tape app promises to keep homemade porn safe

Sex tape App promises to keep your homemade porn safe (

“It says only participating parties will have password access and if one person deletes it, the whole thing is binned forever.”
István Nagy, Self-Portrait with Moustache and Beard

10 days of beard growth is the key to attracting women, researchers claim (

“The study revealed women found the same man more attractive with a 10-day heavy beard than clean-shaven.”

It sure made Ke$ha cock-a-hoop! (

The public will question whether this is art, Turner Prize 2013 judge admits

The public will question whether this is art, Turner Prize 2013 judge admits (

“The public will question whether the Turner Prize shortlist really is art, judges have admitted, as they reveal a stuffed dead dog, a headless drummer and the first ‘live encounter’ on this year’s list.”

Is that not the raison d'être—or at least the selling point—of the Turner Prize, indeed, of conceptual art in general?

Recent/related stories:

Surprise Turner Prize 2012 win for Elizabeth Price (Pick of the Week, 10th December 2012)
The Arrest of Ai Weiwei (Hampstead Theatre)

James Macdonald’s The Arrest of Ai Weiwei (Hampstead Theatre): A chopstick in the eye for Anglo-Chinese relations? (

“In 2011 [artist Ai Weiwei] was arrested by his country’s communist regime and held for 81 days. They said he was endangering the security of the state. This show gives an account of those days and, in the hands of director James Macdonald, does so with quirky inventiveness.”
Why the internet did not freak out about CISPA, the SOPA sequel

Why the internet didn’t freak out about CISPA, the SOPA sequel (

“Unlike SOPA which was widely condemned in the tech community, CISPA has the support of some major tech companies for the bill’s measures meant to help them fight hackers.”

Recent/related stories:

SOPA waves the white flag (Pick of the Week, 21st January 2012)
Dutchman Arrested in Spamhaus DDoS attack

Dutchman arrested in Spamhaus DDoS attack (

“A 35-year-old Dutchman thought to be responsible for launching what’s been called ‘the largest publicly announced online attack in the history of the Internet’ was arrested in Barcelona on Thursday by Spanish authorities.”

Recent/related stories:

Anti-spammers Spamhaus hit by cyber assault (Pick of the Week, 1st April)
Google Glass details revealed

Google Glass details revealed ( but…

“Google Glass is a headset worn like glasses that has a projector for beaming images into the wearer's right eye, creating an illusion equivalent to viewing ‘a 25-inch high definition screen from eight feet away’.”

Google Glass not hitting the shops until 2014 but…

Ubiquitous tech blogger Robert Scoble has already had his say though (

“Scoble spent two weeks trying out Google Glass, using them during presentations and passing through airports letting hundreds of people try them on. During this time, Scoble was surprised at how social the gadget was, compared with a mobile phone, with only one man asking him to remove the glasses when speaking to him.”

Yeah, it’s a lovely sounding piece of kit, but it’s a camera too; I don’t think I’d be comfortable chatting away with someone with one on either, much as I’m not if I suspect someone has a webcam on in their home when I’m around. Then again, this is perhaps the uncomfortable nature of the age we live in.

I’m not the only one thinking that; indeed, perhaps as a form of preemptive defence it’s already spawned it’s own meme ahead of its release: Don’t be a Glasshole! (

Updated 1st June 2013.
“Developers will also be unable to use the device’s camera with the screen off, to address concerns that pictures could be taken more secretly.”

Recent/related stories:

Google Glass won’t be welcome everywhere (Pick of the Week, 15th April)

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Adrianne Curry, Carmit Bachar, Christina Aguilera, Gwyneth Paltrow, Helen Flanagan, Jessica Alba, Kate Middleton, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Kristen Stewart, Megan Fox, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Xenia Deli.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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