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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

7th May 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and certainly have a place for the lonely!

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This weeks stories & pics

“Ninja-ass” Nicki or “combat-cans” Carey? Who is the Deadliest Diva?
Who is deadliest? Vote!
Amanda Bynes got half naked on Twitter

Amanda Bynes got half naked on Twitter! (

I see nippleage! I may even have to bookmark me a Twitter page—Amanda’s page—so I won’t won’t miss any flashing tweets. Count me as a fan. Yep, that’s my positive spin on this whole Amanda Bynes meltdown too. #GetWellSoonAmanda

Amanda Bynes’ comeback could begin with a guardianship (

Recent/related stories:


Rihanna did this in Atlantic City (

Recent/related stories:

RiRi sparked boob job rumours with her Instagrams (Pick of the Week, 30th April)
RiRi braless see-through photoshoot outtakes (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Nicki Minaj slammed fellow American Idol judge Mariah Carey as “insecure, bitter”

Nicki Minaj slammed “insecure, bitter” Mariah Carey on Twitter (

“The duo have had a famously tense relationship since they began on [American Idol], with early leaked footage from auditions showing Minaj yelling at Carey and media reports focusing on their alleged feud.”

Ouch! That’s not nice. I’d assumed the whole feud thing was as theatrical as American wrestling—and enjoyed it too—but that’s just not nice. I’m not a Tweeter, but I wonder how much @perezhilton had to do with goading that?

Who is the deadliest diva? Vote!

Who is the deadliest diva?
Nicki Minaj 61%
Mariah Carey 39%

This poll has now been archived.

Incendiary provocation is Nicki’s stock in trade of course (along with culturally-appropriate name-dropping), but she’s certainly keeping her options open in case it backfires: Nicki Minaj to makes film debut with Cameron Diaz in The Other Woman (

Updated 10th May 2013.
Ah! Did I hit the options-open nail? American Idol judges getting fired? (
“An inside source claims that Nicki Minaj, Keith Urban, Mariah Carey, and Randy Jackson will all get their walking papers given the show’s dwindling ratings.”

Recent/related stories:

Lindsay Lohan entered the Betty Ford Center for rehab

Lindsay Lohan entered the Betty Ford Center for rehab (

“She was admitted late Thursday, avoiding a potential arrest warrant after entering and abruptly leaving a different facility that prosecutors had not approved, representing a possible probation violation.”

Let me guess, that other facility was a bar! So what will she be going through? Lindsay Lohan in rehab lock down (

… Lindsay will be treated by a battery of experts, including a physician, nurse, psychologist, case manager, spiritual care counsellor, family counsellor, dietician, fitness trainer and a chemical dependency technician in a strict hour-by-hour schedule, starting at 6 am and ending at 9 pm.”


Updated 14th June 2013.
“It seems Li-Lo’s move was approved because the Betty Ford Centre is better suited for a 30-day programme, which the Mean Girls star has already completed.”
Updated 9th May 2013.

Blimey! That’ll do her thw world of good.

Recent/related stories:

Recent/related stories:

Mila Kunis, FHM’s sexiest woman for 2013

FHM named Mila Kunis world’s Sexiest Woman for 2013 (

“Hollywood star Mila Kunis has been named the world's sexiest woman—while last year's victor Tulisa has plummeted right out of the top ten.”

Here’s the countdown of FHM’s top fifty (…

Helen Flanagan FHM Sexiest Woman 3rd place suprise

And Helen Flanagan’s incredulity at 3rd place suprise (

Kristen Stewart, Glamour magazine best dressed woman 2013

While Glamour magazine crowned Kristen Stewart best-dressed woman for the second year running (

“Kristen Stewart has been crowned the world’s best-dressed woman for the second year running, despite competition from Emma Watson.”

Which immediately provoked 100 elder gents to raise canes sticks in defiance on Chapopolis!

Recent/related stories:

Side-boob or ass for Mila Kunis, but not both (Pick of the Week, 18th February)
Miley Cyrus waves goodbye to clean-cut image for good

Miley Cyrus finally waved goodbye to clean-cut image for good—by showing her crack (

“Speaking about the snaps in V magazine, Miley said: ‘I chopped my hair and bought a pair of Docs and never looked back.’”
Updated 4th May 2014.
Miley Cyrus areola slip

Unfortunately The Current Bun went paywall in August 2013 (Pick of the Week, 5th Aug. 2013)

You can however catch the V magazine snaps here in HQ ( and she showed a bit more than her crack—spy visible areola in an animated GIF here (celebrityoopsdigest

Yep, and as long hinted and suspected, she does have sizeable areolas! (Google search).

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus was short shorts cheeky! (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Holland Roden slipped a nip

Oops! Teen Wolf’s Holland Roden slipped a nip! (

Info: Holland Roden (
Pink declares herself a “reformed slut”

P!nk declared herself a “reformed slut” (

“The married mum, 33, said it was her comment on how women get a bad rap for sleeping around and not men.”

Sure, I paint tits, but I find that pejorative and the double-standard it defines immensely distasteful. I have never really been one for reappropriation of such terms, bood on you, girl! #SexuallyLiberalFeminism

Demi Moore, Night at the Movies

Demi Moore took her nipples out for a Night at the Movies (

Vanessa Hudgens, Hakkasan Nightclub Grand Opening in Las Vegas

Vanessa Hudgens gave some thigh at Hakkasan Nightclub Grand Opening in Las Vegas (

Recent/related stories:

Vanessa Hudgens came out for Coachella (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Vanessa Hudgens is “proud to be a bad girl” (Pick of the Week, 8th April)
Catherine Zeta-Jones checked into mental health facility for bipolar condition

Catherine Zeta-Jones checked into mental health facility for bipolar condition (

“Two years ago, the 43-year-old Oscar-winner checked into a similar facility for a brief stay for treatment of her condition, known as Bipolar II. The disorder is characterized by mood swings and depressive episodes, and is commonly treated with medication and psychotherapy.”


Stop the stigma. What is Bipolar Disorder? (

Updated 23rd May 2013.

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Farrah Abraham sold sex tape because she was lonely

Teen Mom’s Farrah Abraham defended selling her sex tape for $1.5m… saying she was lonely (

“So on the real,” the 21-year-old said looking into the camera with her big brown eyes. “What would you do?”
Ted, © Universal Pictures
Ted, © Hasbro Universal Pictures

Hell, drop on round, we’ve tea, scrabble and everything here. And dancing!

This, as you’ve probably read, isn’t so much a “sex tape” but a fully produced porno by Vivid marketed as a sex tape that has caused no-end of issues and fallings-out for Farrah after co-(porn)star James Deen discussed it with the press before release (

Farrah Abraham: Back Door Teen Mom

Farrah Abraham sextape screencaps Part Deux

And Here’s an official sneak-peek at the video (

And blimey! She did take it up the bum—both Deen’s cock and later a toy! Pussy squirting scene too, and a full POV facial climax. Nice. Vivid delivered on that one. :)

Updated 8th May 2013.

Farrah’s backdoor antics lured in more cummers viewers than Kim K and Ray J’s sex tape, swamping Vivid’s servers (

“… Farrah’s 70-minute debut, ‘Backdoor Teen Mom,’ lured in more than 2 million visitors in just 12 hours Monday … annihilating the record previously held by Kim K and Ray J—which attracted 600,000 during the same time frame.”

Ah, that’s because as well as giving an intimate look up her rather red bumhole it also features a brief pissing squirting scene whereas Kimbo’s golden shower scene was left in the Vivid H.Q. safe.

Recent/related stories:

Doutzen Kroes, bikini candids in Miami

Doutzen Kroes bikini candids in Miami (

Recent/related stories:

Doutzen Kroes, 2012 Victoria’s Secret fashion show (Pick of the Week, 12th November 2012)
Jeff Hanneman of Slayer passed away

Sad news. Jeff Hanneman, a founding member of Slayer passed away (

“Slayer spokeswoman Heidi Robinson-Fitzgerald said he died on Thursday morning of liver failure at a Los Angeles hospital with his wife, Kathy, by his side.”

Rest in peace.

Attention-seeking Wesboro Baptist Church claimed God killed Slayer’s Jeff Hanneman, threaten to picket funeral (

They really do themselves no favours do they.

Arts, tech. & funnies

Jayne hat-bra

Jayne hat-bra is a tit in the eye for Fox/Think Geek’s Firefly hat wrangling (

“All those fan-made Jayne hats might’ve been pulled from the virtual shelves, but Firefly fans are nothing if not ingenious. Forget about the cease-and-desist and marvel at the Jayne bra.”

Ooh, shiny!

Christine Keeler

Christine Keeler’s nude photograph, iconic, till sexy and subversive 50 years on, and now on show at National Portrait Gallery (

“Lewis Morley’s photograph of Christine Keeler is included in a display to mark the 50th anniversary of the Profumo affair, the Tory sex scandal that rocked—or perhaps it is fairer to say delighted—1963 Britain.”

I saw the film, and it clearly explained why you never trust a man with a jar full of bees.

Damien Hirst, a national shame but the wart that was the best 25 years in the history of British art?

The Guardian’s Jonathan Jones, content to drive the final nail into the formaldehyde-filled coffin of the YBAs commemorating the best 25 years in British art history (

“It’s 25 years since an ambitious unknown called Damien Hirst curated an exhibition of his friends and contemporaries called Freeze. This is generally taken as the foundation of the art movement that by the 1990s got the label ‘YBA’.”

Damien Hirst, a national shame but the wart that was the best 25 years in the history of British art? I give up. It’s lucky I paint nothing but tits.

Recent/related stories:

The end of art as pure money? (Pick of the Week, 22nd January)
Jackson Pollock misses the mark

Peter Duggan’s Artoons: Jackson Pollock misses the mark (

Recent/related stories:

Rejection letter from Disney in 1938 reveals ingrained gender inequality

“Women do not do any of the creative work”: Rejection letter from Disney in 1938 reveals ingrained gender inequality (

“A rejection letter from Walt Disney, addressed to a young woman who had inquired about a job as an animator in 1938, highlights the blunt gender inequality that plagued women before World War II.”


And what’s just as shameful is thinking it got much better post-war!

Recent/related stories:

Disney turns away from hand-drawn animation (Pick of the Week, 13th March)
Peoples Daily erection

China’s People’s Daily newspaper mocked over its new, phallic headquarters (

“Photos of the imposing tower, which is still under construction, had Internet users tittering away, especially given one of Beijing’s other landmarks—the China Central Television (CCTV) headquarters, nicknamed ‘The Big Underpants’.”

Microsoft turns a room into a video game with Kinect-based IllumiRoom project at Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems (

“For example, in a first-person shooter game, the scenery around the main character can be projected on the walls around the television screen. Or when the shooter is in a gun fight, bullets can appear to fly out of the television and whizz past the gamer.”

The ACM SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems (

Kaspersky warns of cyberwar calamity

Eugene Kaspersky warns UK Government and spooks that Cyberwar risks calamity (

“Although ostensibly preaching the orthodox position that cyber-defence should be a coalition of forces, his words contain nuances, warnings about the dangers of state-sponsored cyber-weapons, including those from the UK and its allies.”

Indeed, and components of Stuxnet have been being built into rogue malware ever since too (


Updated 4th October 2013.
“Mojtaba Ahmadi, who served as commander of the Cyber War Headquarters, was found dead in a wooded area near the town of Karaj, north-west of the capital,…”

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Amanda Bynes, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Demi Moore, Doutzen Kroes, Farrah Abraham, Helen Flanagan, Holland Roden, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, Mariah Carey, Mila Kunis, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Pink, Rihanna.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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