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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

21st May 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely not yet on Courtney Stodden’s computer either.

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This weeks stories & pics

XXXtina Princess Leia costume
XXXtina’s Leia costume proved a fabulously popular choice at fancy dress night at her new fancy digs.
Christina Aguilera showed off slimmer body on latest video shoot

Christina Aguilera showed off her magically slimmer body on latest video shoot (

“Despite looking svelte Christina has spoken out saying she loves that after years of being stick thin that she now has curves.”

A real treat too! ♥

Recent/related stories:

Xtina splashed out all over on new home (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Gwyneth Paltrow talked shaving privates

Gwyneth Paltrow kept on talking about shaving her 70s bush (

“She proceeded to show the radio hosts a photo of a friend who recently donated her hair to charity and joked, ‘This is when I shaved my bush.’ She then announced a toast ‘to our hairless vaginas.’”

Blimey! She’s banged on about that; sounds like she was a slip away from getting it out and healthily rubbing it against the mic. Honestly, Gwyn, I’m keen for a look, take photo!

Recent/related stories:

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories

And speaking of beared beavers…

Eva Longoria was without underwear in split dress at the Cannes Film Festival

Oops! Eva Longoria was without underwear in split dress at the Cannes Film Festival (

Non-stop oops action from Eva of late! You can catch the uncensored flash here (

Recent/related stories:

Eva Longoria slipped a bikini nip in Puerto Rico (Latina Pick of the Week, 9th April)
Eva Longoria’s Golden Globes slipped a nip! (Pick of the Week, 22nd January)
Cara Delevingne in Chopard bling at Cannes

Drama at Cannes after $1m jewellery heist (

“Ladies sporting masses of bling at the Cannes Film Festival 2013 may want to hold on to it rather tightly. This follows news reports of a jewellery heist, in which over a $1m worth of Chopard bling is believed to have been stolen.”

So, who made off with $1m worth of Chopard bling?

Emma Watson, Cannes The Bling Ring premier

Emma Watson worked red carpet for The Bling Ring at Cannes (

I’m sure Clouseau could draw a connection. Here’s Emma at the premiere for you to inspect (

Cara Delevingne, Paris Hilton at Cannes

Meanwhile, model prodigy Cara Delevingne found herself under Paris Hilton’s wing and obviously in an inebriated or just confused state almost made a boob when one her bantam cans made a break from her blazer (

Ah huh, they’re a 31" A in case you were wondering (, and even though it didn’t quite make it out, the look on her face was worth it. You can see them here though.

Recent/related stories:

Bling Ring felon sentanced (Pick of the Week, 4th February)
Rihanna suing Topshop for T-shirts

Rihanna suing Topshop for a reported £3.5million for selling T-shirts featuring her (

“RiRi, 25, is said to be furious that UK laws mean the photographer, rather than the person in the shot, owns the rights to the image.”

The UK does not have a Right of Publicity in law as the USA does—much to the relief of the photographer I imagine—but it’s not quite as clear cut as that.

I should imagine what her legal beaks will try to make a case for false endorsement as she once was in talks with Topshop but in the end signed deals to design clothes for rival brand River Island.

Updated 22nd January 2015.

Rihanna wins legal battle over Topshop (

“Three appeal judges agreed with an earlier High Court ruling that marketing the fashion item without the 26-year-old singer’s approval amounts to ‘passing off’, a term used to enforce unregistered trademark rights.”
Updated 20th November 2014.
“[Geoffrey Hobbs QC, appearing for Topshop,] argued that Rihanna was in reality wrongly using the law on passing off to claim that ‘only a celebrity may ever market his or her own character’.”
Updated 31st July 2013.
[Judge ruled] “The mere sale by a trader of a T-shirt bearing an image of a famous person is not an act of passing off. However, I find that Topshop’s sale of this T-shirt was an act of passing off.”

In other words he found Topshop guilty of false endorsement.

Rihanna—Barbados Tourism Authority 2013 Photoshoot

She gave blessing however to use her image to boost the Barbados tourism industry (

Here’ the pics: Rihanna—Barbados Tourism Authority 2013 Photoshoot (

[Insert something about grabbing your coconuts here.]
Rihanna, filming a commercial in NYC

In addition, here’s RiRi filming a commercial for something I can only imagine must be tongue-pokingly awesome in NYC! (

Recent/related stories:

RiRi sparked boob job rumours with her Instagrams (Pick of the Week, 30th April)
Hayden Panettiere, bikini candids, Miami

Hayden Panettiere was out in a bikini again in Miami (

Recent/related stories:

Katharina Damm, topless in St. Tropez

Danish model and actress Katharina Damm was topless in St. Tropez (

Info: Katharina Damm (
Miranda Kerr boobs out on photoshoot

Miranda Kerr was walking about with her boobies out (

Miranda Kerr boobs out on photoshoot
Updated 23rd May 2013.
More err… less coverage (

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal, Esquire magazine photoshoot

Nina Agdal Esquire magazine photoshoot (

Updated 23rd May 2013.
Story link changed.

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal Aerie bikini photoshoot (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Nina Agdal volleyed balls at Miami beach (Pick of the Week, 18th February)

Sad news.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie revealed she had a double mastectomy because of faulty BRCA1 gene in an open letter to the NY Times (

“MY MOTHER fought cancer for almost a decade and died at 56. She held out long enough to meet the first of her grandchildren and to hold them in her arms. But my other children will never have the chance to know her and experience how loving and gracious she was.”

A thoroughly brave and courageous woman, and hopefully a beacon for women everywhere coping with weighing the risks breast and ovarian cancer. #bcaware

Celebrities on Twitter voiced their support (

Updated 27th May 2013.
“According to her husband, Mrs Martin had the same defective BRCA1 gene as Jolie, but did not know it until after her 2004 cancer diagnosis. He said had his wife known in advance of her genetic risk, ‘she would have done exactly what Angelina did’.”

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Courtney Stodden claims she has a sex tape too now

Courtney Stodden claims she has a sex tape too now, of course (

“The tape, Stodden tells us at the Shekhar Rahate fashion show in Los Angeles Thursday, is ‘not out in the media’ nor is it on her computer, and she advises wannabe hackers not to get their hopes up.”

In other words she’s casting a line out to Vivid. Having upped the celebrity sex tape ante though with Teen Mom’s very vivid back-door action, will what she describes be enough bait on the hook?

“As for what’s on the tape, it’s ‘just me,’ she claims, adding that it wasn‘t shot too long ago. ‘I turned 18 in August, so you do the math.’”

Well, a relief to hear that at least “dad” Doug isn‘t taking on the James Deen role!

Farrah Abraham’s sex tape bikini pulled off eBay

Meanwhile, Farrah Abraham’s sex tape bikini was pulled off eBay (

“The sale of the bikini Farrah Abraham wore for the cover of her sex tape has hit a snag … eBay has pulled the listing down because it hasn’t been washed since she wore it.”

Yeah, it tends to be more “specialist” sort of sites that deal in that sort of merchandise.

Recent/related stories:

Britain’s Got Talent censored pole dancer Tiffany Finney-McRory’s routine

Britain’s Got Talent censored pole dancer Tiffany Finney-McRory’s routine (

“The Burlesque star’s act is so racy BGT bosses decided to censor her explicit moves, despite showing it on the spin-off show after the 9pm watershed.”

Recent/related stories:

Arts, tech. & funnies

Survey found one woman in ten cares more about fictional playboy than her own partner

Survey found one woman in ten cares more about fictional playboy than her own partner (

“The survey found that more than half of women admitted to being attracted to fictional bad boys—with one in ten feeling more intensely for a make-believe male than their own partner.”

I wonder what the percentage of men and their fictional bad girls is? But anyway, guys, get your bad boy out, and girls, why not share that creativity.

Yahoo to acquire Tumblr?

Yahoo to acquire Tumblr for $1.1 billion? (

Will that spell the end of copious porn on Tumblr?


What does Yahoo really want with Tumblr though?

What is Tumblr and what does the Yahoo takeover mean? (

“In fact Tumblr is as much a social networking platform as it is a blogging service. Users can follow as many different Tumblrs as they like, with a central dashboard serving up latest posts, with all those classic social media tools thrown in: like, repost and comment. What’s more any new posts can be uploaded directly from the dashboard and hooked into Facebook and Twitter too, hence giving punters wider sharing options and growing their audience.”

Ah! I think Yahoo was feeling distinctly “unfriended” in the social network stakes. Yeah, the measure of that will be more kittens-in-a-cup at the expense of [insert your porn predilection here].

Fashion illustrators’ get digital

Swapping ink for pixels: fashion illustrators’ digital toolbox (

“The most obvious benefit is that the majority of publishing requires digital input whether for print or online. When translating traditional drawings to digital formats there's a lot of work which needs to be done in terms of colour correction and cleaning up errors or imperfections. When working directly into digital those problems are largely lost….”

Vice illustration exhibition opens in London

Vice illustration exhibition opens in London (

Vice is best know for its vitriolic, spittle-flecked (and often very funny) articles attacking the political and cultural mainstream—and its love/hate relationships with hipsters—but over the years it's output has grown increasingly serious…”
“Bea Arthur Naked” by John Currin

Bea Arthur nude painting by John Currin sells for $1.9 million (

“The 1991 painting by artist John Currin, called ‘Bea Arthur Naked,’ was expected to fetch as much as $2.5 million in the post-war and contemporary art sale at Christie’s. It went to an anonymous bidder.”

So, The Daily Beast were locked out of their own Facebook page Wednesday after posting the image—a terms of service mix-up that’s not supposed to apply to art. Yup, been there, done that, but never actually on Facebook.

Info: John Currin (
YBA Gary Hume

YBA Gary Hume: “I couldn’t hold down a job. That’s why I became an artist” (

“I still see Sarah [Lucas] from time to time but life goes on. I’m in London making work, and she’s in Suffolk making work. It’s just time passing.” He pauses for a moment, suddenly reflective. “I do think you get lonelier and lonelier being an artist as you get older.”

Recent/related stories:

Sarah Lucas is still doing… things with the female form (Pick of the Week, 1st October 2012)
Pussy Riot—a Punk Prayer documentary

Putin-bashing, punk rock and politics Pussy Riot make for a riotous mix in documentary (

“‘They [Pussy Riot] walked into the heart of Russia and took a shit,’ is how a hostile observer characterises their actions in new feature documentary Pussy Riot—a Punk Prayer….”

Recent/related stories:

Why can’t we take pictures in art museums?

Why can’t we take pictures in art museums? (

“The biggest hurdle to wide-open photo policies is the issue of copyright. Museums often do not hold the copyrights to the works they display, which creates legal problems when visitors start snapping away … a photograph of an artwork could be considered a ‘derivative work,’ which is ‘potentially a violation of the copyright holder.’”

And you thought they were just being pissy.

Google Glass to be used in xxx films

Google Glass to be used in XXX flicks (

“Q Boyer, a spokesman for porn filmmakers Pink Visual, said: ‘Obviously a device that allows you to shoot high-quality video in a truly hands-free fashion will make shooting point of view (POV) porn that much easier.‘”

Well, what a suprise! ;)

Recent/related stories:

Is Google Glass missing one critical factor? (Pick of the Week, 13th May)

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Tags: Angelina Jolie, Cara Delevingne, Christina Aguilera, Courtney Stodden, Emma Watson, Eva Longoria, Farrah Abraham, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hayden Panettiere, Katharina Damm, Miranda Kerr, Nina Agdal, Paris Hilton, Rihanna, Tiffany Finney-McRory.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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