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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

28th May 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely went out that window too.

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This weeks stories & pics

Mariah boobs
Mariah Carey’s boobs managed to finish what they started at the after show party.
Mariah Carey almost oops on Good Morning America

Oops, wardrobe malfunction! Mariah Carey’s boobs tried to jump out to wish Good Morning America (

“The curvaceous singer was chatting to Good Morning America host Lara Spencer when she blurted out ‘my dress just popped’ and quickly placed her hands over her chest to cover her breasts.”
Mariah Carey cleavagey Good Morning America

Sadly nothing actually popped out but Mimi was plenty curvy and cleavagey nonetheless! Here’s the pics (

Recent/related stories:

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Amanda Seyfried lamented loss of curves on Ellen

Amanda Seyfried lamented loss of curves after being pressured into slimming down for career on Ellen (

“I had beautiful huge breasts and then I came to Hollywood and I was like I got to lose weight. I got to look thin and fit and I lost them a little bit.”
Amanda Seyfried, Epic premier NYC

Curves enough for me, Amanda. Here she is displaying her epic pins at the Epic premiere in NYC (

Recent/related stories:

Jennifer Aniston slapping her ass as she strips in We’re The Millers trailer

Jennifer Aniston stripped and slapped her ass in We’re The Millers (

“Jennifer, who plays a stripper in the film opposite Jason Sudeikis, is seen slapping her bottom while performing a strip tease to Mickey Avalon’s ‘Stroke Me.’.”

Here’s those ass-slappin’ pics a little larger (

Recent/related stories:

Kristen Stewart watching moving truck take away Robert Pattinson’s belongings

Kristen Stewart cut a sad figure watching moving trucks take away the last of Robert Pattinson’s belongings from her home (

“After weathering the storm of her sex scandal with Rupert Sanders last year, Kristen and Robert reportedly broke up for good over the weekend when he reportedly found text messages from her to the Snow White and The Huntsman director and became upset that they were still in contact.”

Kristen snapped leaping into a car matching Rupe’s the day Rob jetting out of L.A. couldn’t have helped either.

Katy Perry at the Met Gala

The question now though is was Katy Perry a factor? (

“It was reported earlier this year that Katy’s close friendship with Rob made Kristen insecure.”

Recent/related stories:

Frédérique Bel, The Great Gatsby premiere, Cannes

French actress Frédérique Bel gave some see-thru tittie at Cannes (

“The 38-year-old actress shared the red carpet at The Great Gatsby premiere with the likes of Nicole Kidman and Carey Mulligan. But she made sure all eyes were on her, flashing her bare boobs under a sheer turquoise frock that failed to properly protect her assets.”
Info: Frédérique Bel (

Recent/related stories:

Irina Shayk, All Is Lost premiere in Cannes

Irina Shayk All Is Lost premiere in Cannes (

All was nearly “out” too!

Info: Irina Shayk (

Recent/related stories:

Irina Shayk was a yummy Beach Bunny (Pick of the Week, 25th February)
Melanie Brown brought her booty out at Cannes

Mel B brought her booty out at Cannes (

Damnit; why didn’t someone dare her to give the full moon there!

Recent/related stories:

Kim Kardashian, bare baby bump on Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Kim Kardashian showed off her bare bump in new trailer for Keeping Up With The Kardashians (

“How the f**k did I get like this?” she asks in an advert promoting the eight’s [sic] series of the popular show.

It might have been that time you didn’t get it up the bum, Kim—just a hunch.

Updated 4th June 2013.
Kim Kardashian, greek vacation

Updated 10th April 2014.
US Weekly images link changed.

Recent/related stories:

Rihanna tweeted her ass from shoot for “Pour It Up”

Rihanna tweeted her ass from “Pour It Up” video shoot (

“Rihanna uploaded the image—taken on the shoot for track Pour It Up—to her Instagram page writing ‘and that’s a #WRAP !!!!! #pouritupvideoshoot,’ before swiftly deleting it again.”

Recent/related stories:

Ke$ha pulled a Paltrow at the Billboard Music Awards

Ke$ha pulled a Paltrow at the Billboard Music Awards ( and…

Ke$ha drank her own pee on My Crazy Beautiful Life

Drank her own pee on My Crazy Beautiful Life (

Recent/related stories:

Ke$ha continued to jingle balls, this time in in Tampa (Pick of the Week, 17th December 2012)
Paris Hilton, cocktail reception at the Grisogono Party

Lil Wayne signed Paris Hilton to his record label (

“… the rapper’s mentor Birdman confirmed the news via Twitter. He said: ‘Lil Wayne’s Cash Money family has a new member! Paris Hilton: RichgangRichgirl.’”

Begs the question of how much the Cash Money family’s fee was. Here’s a regal looking Paris at a cocktail reception at the Grisogono Party (

Recent/related stories:

Helen Flanagan, PETA campaign

Helen Flanagan showed some (animal) skin for PETA (

“The 22-year-old Wag posed in London's Covent Garden to show off her brand new poster.”
Helen Flanagan, PETA Anti-Exotic Skins AD in London’s Covent Garden

Here’s Helen showing a roarsome amount of boobage at PETA Anti-Exotic Skins AD in London’s Covent Garden (

Recent/related stories:

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Amanda Bynes in court following bong-tossing arrest

Amanda Bynes was arrested for bong-tossing (

“Amanda told the judge the bong cops say she threw out of her apartment window last night was ‘just a vase.’”

I claimed mine was just a rather large kazoo.

Blac Chyna, inspiration for Amanda Bynes’ look

Cops made her ditch the wig for mug shot (, which I should imagine was awkward, and the truth is out on the inspiration for her look (

“In a rare interview with In Touch, the actress-turned-Twitter-sensation explained that she modeled her new style after famed stripper Blac Chyna.”

Much fun but still, if we are honest with ourself, I bet many of our have had an “Amanda moment” at some point in our life, so #GetWellSoonAmandaBynes.

Updated 30th May 2013.

Sadly, Amanda went on to slate Rihanna and Courtney Love Cobain ( and then Chrissy Teigen ( in an appaling manner on Twitter.

Credit and respect to both Courtney Love and Chrissy Teigen for choosing to not retaliate and asking her fans not to get involved in the situation. Some have voiced that Amanda may be trolling ( Perhaps it is a sad indication of how getting attention on Twitter, YouTube, or Facebook in actuality plays out. Perhaps Twitter should take the matter in hand as the escalating situation is certainly not in the interest of Amanda’s health.

I’ve certainly come to the conclusion that social media as a soapbox isn’t in the interests of many celebrity’s mental health.

Of course, I couldn’t let the innuendo here go without comment. Amanda suing the New York Police Department after recent arrest (

“… then locked up overnight for coming home after a facial and working out with my trainer like the good girl that I am.”

Oh, crikey!

Recent/related stories:

Amanda Bynes got half naked on Twitter! (Pick of the Week, 7th May)
Survey finds porn fans most want to see a Mila Kunis sex tape

Survey finds porn fans most want to see a Mila Kunis sex tape (

“The survey, conducted by porn purveyors and Vivid Entertainment …, put Kunis on top (sorry) with 38 percent of the vote.”

Who’d get your vote?
Selena Gomez 21%
Miley Cyrus 12%
Mila Kunis 12%
Vanessa Hudgens 9%
Emma Watson 7%
Jennifer Lawrence 6%
Christina Aguilera 4%
Britney Spears 4%
Amanda Bynes 4%
Anne Hathaway 3%
Rihanna 2%
Sofia Vergara 2%
Other 2%
Katy Perry 2%
Kate Upton 2%
Megan Fox 2%
Lindsay Lohan 2%
Courtney Stodden 2%
Kristen Stewart 1%
Gwyneth Paltrow 1%

This poll has now been archived.

Recent/related stories:

Side-boob or ass for Mila Kunis, but not both (Pick of the Week, 18th February)
Candice Swanepoel, Vogue Australia

Candice Swanepoel got kitty-dominant for Vogue Australia (

Recent/related stories:

Sara Jean Underwood, Star Wars Charity Car Wash Event

Sara Jean Underwood gave a Jawa a bantha boner at Star Wars Charity Car Wash Event (

Alice Eve in underwear in Star Trek Into Darkness

Damon Lindelof was sorry you saw Alice Eve’s underwear in Star Trek Into Darkness (

“We also had Kirk shirtless in underpants in both movies. Do not want to make light of something that some construe as mysogenistic [sic].”

You’ll end up apologising for having an arsehole in the end when Twitter trends your way. I’m suprised that he hasn’t had to apologise more to Benedict Cumberbatch’s legion of female fans for cutting his shower sequence (

Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones star says “no more” to show’s frequent nudity (

“[Oona Chaplin] refused to name the actress but there has been speculation that it could be Emilia Clarke—who plays the former king’s daughter Daenerys Targaryen.”

So the dainty, fair-haired Mother of Dragons may not be showing her palookas anymore. Damn, that’s a shame! Oona herself is more keen, stating:

“I’m quite controversial when it comes to that because I adore women’s bodies. If it’s done in a beautiful way, in a way that honours the female form, then I’m always happy to see it.”
Emilia Clarke nude, Game of Thrones

So am I, Oona, so am I! Here’s a clip of Oona’s ass from the series done in a most beautiful way and a reminder of what we may now be missing from Emilia Clarke (

Arts, tech. & funnies

Virginity auction to turn into a reality TV show?

Virginity auction to turn into a reality TV show? (

“An Australian filmmaker who controversially auctioned off a Brazilian girl’s virginity for a documentary is turning the project into a reality TV show.”

Recent/related stories:

Brazilian student who sold her virginity for $780,000 on auction online (Latina Pick of the Week, 31st October 2012)
Google’s Eric Schmidt warned “we have to fight for privacy

Google’s Eric Schmidt warned “we have to fight for privacy, or we’re going to lose it” at Big Tent event (

“People are not all that aware that once something has been put out online, it’s almost always impossible to permanently erase, he went on.”

Yes, and having to show your real name to the world to Google Plus yourself helps does it?

Is Google’s Eric Schmidt Big Tent event “We Have To Fight For Privacy” speach rank hypocrisy? (

Recent/related stories:

Slow worms in cable box

Shocked homeowner with fuzzy TV and slow internet connection finds family of reptiles in cable box (

“When he opened the box outdoors he discovered what looked like a nest of snakes.”
Kim Dotcom threatens to sue over two-step authentication

Kim Dotcom claimed he came up with two-step authentication, threatens to sue (

“"Google, Facebook, Twitter, Citibank, etc. offer Two-Step-Authentication,” wrote Dotcom, whose prior name is Kim Schmitz. “Massive IP infringement by US companies. My innovation. My patent.”

Perhaps someone in the past uploaded the specs to Megaupload. Oh, the irony.

Recent/related stories:

Gabon suspends Megaupload successor site before launch (Pick of the Week, 12th November 2012)

GIF: “It’s pronounced jif. End of story” (

“It’s the longest running debate on the web (possibly) but now we know the answer.”

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Tags: Alice Eve, Amanda Bynes, Amanda Seyfried, Candice Swanepoel, Emilia Clarke, Frederique Bel, Helen Flanagan, Irina Shayk, Jennifer Aniston, Katy Perry, Kesha, Kim Kardashian, Kristen Stewart, Mariah Carey, Melanie Brown, Mila Kunis, Oona Chaplin, Paris Hilton, Rihanna, Sara Jean Underwood.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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