Pick of the Week
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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely only fit for this wretched hive of scum and villainy.
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This weeks stories & pics
Pamela Anderson TV ad was branded “degrading” (digitalspy.co.uk).
“The commercial, for web hosting service Crazy Domains, featured the former Baywatch actress in a boardroom meeting full of men. One of the men fantasises about Anderson and her assistant dancing in bikinis and pouring cream on each other.”
Not the first to be asked to tone it down—GoDaddy recently recieved a spurt of the censors admonishment (nydailynews.com). Domain registries have a firm grip on their demographic it seems.
You can catch the uncut version here (cn-hd.org).
Can I imagine a more female-friendly version? A meeting room full of inexorable female execs whistfully imagining David Beckham dropping his corporate briefs?
Here’s Pamela getting nippy for June’s Vogue Brazil (hotcelebshome.com).
Updated 24th July 2015.
Dead link. Apologies.
Kim Kardashian got a naked pregnant statue (huffingtonpost.com).
“[Daniel Edwards’] imagining of the 32-year-old portrays the curvaceous Kardashian with no arms so as to draw attention to her burgeoning belly and ‘lactiferous’ breasts.”
Visitors are encouraged to rub the belly and leave an offering for good luck or success.
“I’m kind of like almost gagging for an opportunity to go. I don’t want to do that anymore—but I have a £6 million mortgage to pay,”
Oh dear, perhaps something you’d expect from a disparaged contestant rather than the mentor.
Tulisa let fire her choice words for those that installed the 24-year old a TV music mentor when it was revealled by a rival tabloid that she was lured in to The Current Bun’s sting by promises of new career in Bollywood! (mirror.co.uk)
“Tricksters posing as film executives had promised her £8million and global fame playing a sari-clad British girl who moves from London to India.”
So we will not get see Tulisa swivelling her hips while making esoteric hand gestures in time to cymbal crashes. Shame on you trickers!
One film studio I imagine eagerly gearing up to making a serious offer in light of all this is Vivid, of course.
What do you think, a sari-shedding Tulisa: Backdoor Bollywood?
“Someone close to the singer told the paper she is at an ‘all time low’: 'T is a girl whose professional life is in tatters. This guy started hounding her daily since the drug fixing story broke.”
Was he that desperate to buy?
“The Sun on Sunday has since stated that it did not fly Tulisa around the world, and was ‘not invited as a passenger on any private jet and no money was offered to her by The Sun for a film deal‘.”
The Guardian’ Roy Greenslade felt it unlikely too…
“Even if it’s closer to £100,000, it is still a remarkable amount to invest on an essentially worthless piece of journalism that achieved nothing more than exposing a young woman who allegedly asked a friend to obtain some drugs….”
But then, after all that £100,000 bit was found to be
made-up inaccurate changed his mind (guardian.co.uk).
“The Sunday People does not mention the Sun on Sunday as the architect of the hoax so, I concede, it is just possible that Contostavlos was subject to two hoaxes.”
With it being just as possible that the whole of Girls Aloud were indeed pulling on your plonker last night after all.
Indeed, if it wasn’t the Current Bun who were these mysterious Bollywood fakkars?
Kate Upton’s titties almost bounced out for The Other Woman (hotcelebshome.com).
Updated 24th July 2015.
Dead link. Apologies.
Miley Cyrus showed some tittie for Vijat Mohindra (hawtcelebs.com) and…
Yes, I’m sure you can guess my favourite of those piccies, further fuelling my ceaseless imagination of what Cara, RiRi & wifey Rita Ora are getting up to.
Emily Ratajkowski bared her bits in black and white for Simply (egotastic.com).
Amanda Bynes did a 180 on Drake, made advances to Liam Hemsworth he should likely refuse (gossipcenter.com) and…
“Liam Helmsworth [sic] is the most gorgeous man on the face of the earth other than Tanz Watson. FYi!”
Playboy Radio made her a job offer (huffingtonpost.com) but…
“The R-rated program allegedly submitted an offer to the former actress to host her own daily, hour-long radio show. Right now it is only supposed to be a one-week trial, but if she does well the company is willing to extend it to a full year (with a driver and a producer included). ”
No, that wasn’t to be in the Bynes agenda:
“I want to [do the show]. But I can’t because I’m recording an album!” she told TMZ. “I’ll go on their show for an interview when I’m promoting my album.”
She is not alone in deciding that Twitter (and future forthcoming album deals) are her forte, finding a fan in Jersey Shore’s Snooki:
“She's my guilty pleasure on Twitter.”
As I’ve heard Snooki is herself for a few of you cheeky tweeters.
.:: Top column 2 ::.
Helena Bonham Carter is going to have a bash at being Liz Taylor now (telegraph.co.uk).
“The 90-minute drama, which is the latest in a long line of BBC Four biopics about public figures, comes months after the US cable channel Lifetime debuted its own Burton and Taylor telepic, Liz & Dick, starring Lindsay Lohan and Grant Bowler. ”
“John Delk, who represents her husband Nathaniel Richardson, said his client is in the process of divorcing his wife and claimed she was trying to set him up when she contacted authorities about the letters. ”
“A black-and-gold acrylic fingernail flew off Lady Gaga’s hand during performance in Dublin, Ireland last year, only to be caught by an event crew member who promptly put the item up for auction.”
Arts, tech. & funnies
Miss World chiefs cancel bikini round to avoid offending in Indonesia (dailymail.co.uk).
“… this year the pageant will be significantly more subdued, after organisers announced that they are scrapping the traditional bikini round in a bid to avoid offending the Muslim hosts.”
Maybe they could have a burka round.
“They stripped off their combats in the snaps that have landed them in hot water with Israeli Army top brass.”
“In January it was claimed she had had a second child, and that Mr Putin moved her into his retreat on the Black Sea coast in Sochi.”
Title. Vladimir Putin marriage break-up: was the Russian gymnast to blame? Well done, Telegraph, I can see you reported on the expulsion from Eden too. She obviously has the willy ex-KGB bear-wrestling Judo champ tied in more knots than herself.
Did I mention the bendy part? Oh, okay.
Steven Seagal to be face of Russian arms? (celebrity.uk.msn.com).
“Russia is looking at Steven Seagal to be the face of its weapons industry as it guns for first place on the world arms market.”
He don’t care what their selling—no gun is a match for his Aikido throws of fury!
“I don’t care if Banksy is famous or forgotten, if his works sell for $1m or 50p. He is outside my territory—like a bus passing in the street. He bores me rigid, but if you like this, what the hey. I can't stop you. When you get older you may enjoy Beryl Cook.”
Crikey! I’ll stick to tits then.
Google Glass porn was heading your way (pocket-lint.com) …
“Google Glass porn has been making its rounds, and while studios are intrigued, no one seems to be doing anything about it. So I wanted to let you know that we picked up our Glass and, yup, we’re making content for it.”
And then wasn’t: Google says “NO” to porn apps on Google Glass (digitalartsonline.co.uk).
“We don’t allow Glassware content that contains nudity, graphic sex acts or sexually explicit material,” according to Google’s Glass platform developer policies, which were updated Saturday ….
Star Wars Tatooine sets… 37 years on (thesun.co.uk).
“The cult sets—from 1977’s Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope—were photographed by Italian artist and film-maker Ra Di Martino. She first spotted them on mapping site Google Earth and then visited the scalding Chott el Djerid saltpan in Tunisia to see for herself.”
Unfortunatly the The Current Bun went paywall in Aug. 2013, but you can catch nostalgic shots of the abandoned Star Wars film sets in the Tunisian Desert here (imgur.com).
You can catch on Google Maps yourself here (virtualglobetrotting.com).
“Moving at around 15m a year, the front edge of the barchan appears to have made contact with some of the Mos Espa buildings earlier this year, and is encroaching on Qui-Gon’s Alley.”
Use the Force, Qui-Gon!
And to finish on a more serious note.
“As president of the mental health charity Mind, Fry was open revealing his problems with depression.”
Bipolar disorder: the secret life of a manic depressive (news.uk.msn.com)
“The cheerful exuberance of hypomania can be so alluring to ourselves and to others that it becomes part of our personality. Accepting that it can also be part of an illness can be difficult.”—Seaneen Molloy-Vaughan, writer, mental health activist and sometime stand-up comedian
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Tags: Amanda Bynes, Brandi Glanville, Cara Delevingne, Emily Ratajkowski, Farrah Abraham, Helena Bonham Carter, Kate Upton, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Pamela Anderson, Shannon Richardson, Taylor Swift, Tulisa Contostavlos.
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