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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

18th June 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely won’t appear on the relaunched MySpace either.

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This weeks stories & pics

Kate Moss’s bullet nipples shooting to be smoking for Playboy 60th anniversary issue cover
Kate Moss’s bullet nipples shooting to be smoking for Playboy’ 60th anniversary issue cover.

Kate Moss to pose topless for Playboy 60th anniversary issue cover

Kate Moss to get her titties out for Playboy’s 60th anniversary issue cover (

“… Kate’s hairstylist Oribe Canales confirmed the rumours at the La Fama hair show in Miami.”

How the hell The Mail concocts that Kate will “certainly need to wear something on her face to hide her blushes” when posing topless for Playboy is beyond me; it’s not as if Kate’s bullet-nippled boobies and bush have been strangers to the lens after that first shoot they describe. Always a pleasure though—I’ve been a long-time fan since when I used to actually buy The Face—proving she’s not quite ready to hand over her catwalk crown to the girl dubbed as dubbed “The New Kate Moss” just yet.

And speaking of Cara…

Recent/related stories:

Kate Moss got naked for new St. Tropez campaign (Pick of the Week, 13th May)
Kate Moss got her titties out for Vogue (Pick of the Week, 8th April)
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Cara Delevingne joined Rita Ora for some on stage dirty dancing

Cara Delevingne joined “wifey” Rita Ora on stage for some dirty dancing (

“But while her vocal talent was questionable—her raunchy bumping and grinding onstage with ‘wifey’ Rita was somewhat more memorable.”

Yup, there’s a strap-on in this story somewhere. Oh, that’s just my rather vivid imagination. I’m gonna stick with it though. Click on the the story link for the much more suggestive pictures to follow my thinking.

Cara tweeted a nipple on Instagram the previous day too (, exhorting great joy from fans and indignation from just about everyone else:

Cara Delevingne nipple on Instagram
“Another got totally carried away defending her idol, adding: ‘wow woopdif***ingdo it’s a boob.’”

Yeah, that’s exactly how I get totally carried away.

Here it is uncensored (…

Cara Delevingne, DKNY Artworks Event in London

And here’s Cara posing at the DKNY Artworks Event in London (

Updated 16th July 2013.
Have Cara Delevingne and Rita Ora falled out over stage dirty dancing?
“The pair, who were so close that they used to call each other “wifey”, haven”t been seen together since that evening—when Cara left the audience cringing with her dance moves and singing attempts. … Reports of the feud were furthered even more when Rita referred to her designer friend Stella McCartney as her “new wifey” in a post on Twitter.”

Oh nooOooo! I don‘t think it was the out of tune cringeworthy singing, I think it was the recreation of her doing Cara up the bum with a strap-on in that piccie. Ah! I do notice Cara has been spending a lot more time with Rita’s rival, RiRi too! (

Yep. RiRi bent over just like Rita with Cara behind. I’ll hold that thought right there.

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé by Roberto Cavalli for The Mrs. Carter Show World Tour

Beyoncé found herself at the centre of new airbrushing controversy (

“After the H&M airbrushing row, Beyonce is once again suffering at the hands of an over-zealous retoucher—this time it’s Roberto Cavalli, as he promotes his design for her Mrs Carter world tour”

Actually I don’t think that’s right, I mean the image…

“The image portrays Beyonce as an elongated caricature of herself, with cartoon-length legs and extremely thin limbs.”

Says it all: “elongated caricature”. There’s no way you could mistake that for reality, which wasn’t the artists intent at all, it’s his style.

Take a peek at his Coca-Cola Light Dresses sketches ( Yup, extreamly long caricature pins. Likely aware of that, I don’t think the fierce furor has come from Beyoncé’s camp as in the H&M airbrushing case—it’s a different sort of image—but rather journalists pulling at populist threads eager for a follow up story.

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé, Chime For Change charity concert (Pick of the Week, 3rd June)
Beyoncé’s fury at H&M airbrushing her curves (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Leyla Ghobadi hits back after backlash and rapper’s denial

Kanye West’s “other woman” Leyla Ghobadi hit back after backlash and rapper’s denial, saying: “People always blame the woman” (

“In the face of a huge backlash and Kanye’s denials, Leyla Ghobadi took to Twitter saying she wasn’t just doing this for the fame”

No, not at all. However she soon conceded there was some fakery afoot (, and so God Almighty Kanye hadn’t been burning some bush in the shadow of Kim’s booty.

“… the model who claimed she had an affair with Kanye West—and that he cheated on Kim Kardashian with her last year—says it all actually took place in 2011.”

Sort of changing her angle to “he’ll never be faithful” instead. Indeed, there’s nothing more frustrating to your 15 minutes than an awkward fact.

Leyla Ghobadi, Summum magazine

So, although it wasn’t for the fame, attention, and blackmailed tailoring, you can check ot Leyla Ghobadi in her undies here (

Kim Kardashian gave birth to baby girl

And congratulations: Kim Kardashian gave birth to baby girl (

I bet Kanye has knitted some fabulous baby rompers!

Updated 22nd June 2013.
Kim Kardashian bikini baby bump

Here’s those huge bikini baby bump pics in HQ (

Recent/related stories:

Kim Kardashian got a naked pregnant statue (Pick of the Week, 10th June)
Kim Kardashian nearly flashed her baby maker (Pick of the Week, 3rd June)
Emma Watson, The Bling Ring premier

Emma Watson wore a plunging black frock for The Bling Ring New York premier (

“Emma … was glammed up for the launch of her latest movie The Bling Ring, about a group of fame-obsessed teens who rob celebrities’ homes by tracking their whereabouts on the internet.”

Here’s the pics (

Alexis Neiers, whom Emma Watson plays in The Bling Ring

The Current Bun interviewed Alexis Neiers, the Bling Ringer Emma plays in the movie (

“Alexis, now 21, served a jail term for her part in stealing £350,000 of bling from the Hollywood mansion shared by British actor Orlando Bloom and his now-wife, model Miranda Kerr, in July 2009.”

Recent/related stories:

Farrah Abraham, Charlie’s Goddess almost

Charlie Sheen wanted Farrah Abraham to be a Goddess ( but …

Changed his mind and called her names when she talked about it.

I got lost somewhere; did she say he had a small dinkle too?

Farrah Abraham, Sapphire Pool Party

Here’s Farrah at the Sapphire Pool Party in Las Vegas (

Updated 27th June 2013.
“I really don’t even care [about Sheen insulting me]. That’s coming from someone so old and he needs to get his [life] together. I don’t even care. Anything he said doesn’t really even make sense to me, …”

The wording didn‘t quite make sense to anyone outside of Middle Earth, but that his anger was roused only when she told others about his offer perhaps does.

Recent/related stories:

Charlie Sheen wants to “mentor” LiLo (Pick of the Week, 13th March)
Charlie Sheen made porn star Georgia Jones a Goddess! (Pick of the Week, 14th January)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Reese Witherspoon flashed her bum

Oops! Reese Witherspoon went commando and flashed her bum (

Here’s a trio in slightly higher quality, but sadly not of the crack-shot (

Rihanna gave some tongue poking and crotch grabbng at the Eiffel Tower

Rihanna gave some tongue-poking and crotch-grabbng at the Eiffel Tower for US-France relations (

Rihanna boobies too much for Dublin

But RiRi’s titties were too much for Dubliners (

“Several of the billboards have been covered with dresses stapled across Rihanna's chest, concealing her the topless photo used to promote her Unapologetic album and Diamonds tour.”
Updated 22nd June 2013.

Some Dubliner’s may have covered her diddies, but in the wake of the Irish leg of her tour at Aviva Stadium, why Rihanna is basically a typical Irish girl (at heart at least) (

“Irish girls are great for saying ‘Feck it who cares? It’ll be grand’ and Rihanna is a shining example of that kind of attitude.”
“Ah yeah, sure, go on, whatever you think yourself”

Recent/related stories:

MySpace pulled out the young stars for its relaunch party in Los Angeles.

Karen Gillan, MySpace relaunch party

Karen Gillan (

Jamie Chung, MySpace relaunch party

Jamie Chung

Ashley Tisdale, MySpace relaunch party

Ashley Tisdale

Vanessa Hudgens, MySpace relaunch party

Vanessa Hudgens

Miley Cyrus, MySpace relaunch party

Miley Cyrus (

Miley Cyrus, tongue out for MySpace

Oh, and mustn’t forget this these: Miley Cyrus tongue out of cheek for MySpace (

Crikey! That is one helluva tongue.

Can a relaunch resurrect MySpace? MySpace Brand Relaunch: Not Exactly Sweet Music (

“Obviously, it’s way too early to tell whether the relaunch will work, but the deck is stacked against them. … The fact is the MySpace brand, if it is known at all, has become something of a joke among a good [sic] of the young people they seek to attract.”

Me? I avoid ’em all.

Could I join though if I wished to?

8.2.  Prohibited Content includes, but is not limited to, Content that, in the sole discretion of Myspace:
    • contains nudity, … or offensive subject matter or links to an adult website;

Oh, shucks, there you go then. I’ll just have to give it a miss.

Lindsay Mills, whistleblower Edward Snowden’s girlfriend

US government’s internet spying programme whistleblower Edward Snowden’s pole dancer girlfriend Lindsay Mills spoke out about her “man of mystery” on a blog, complete with semi-naked poses (

You can catch more piccies here (

Erin Brady. Miss USA 2013

Miss Connecticut USA Erin Brady was crowned Miss USA 2013 in Las Vegas ( but…

Marissa Powell, Miss Utah

Miss Utah question stumbles seemed to have have got more of the attention (

Poor girl. I gotta say put a anxious bloke on the stage and ask him questions in front of an audience and I doubt he’d have done—or felt—much better without 8 pints imbibed to pass it off as laddishness at holiday camp talent shows.

Here’s Erin (, and…

Paromita Mitra, Miss Mississippi

You can check out the contestants in the bikini round here (

Recent/related stories:

Olivia Culpo crowned Donald Trump’s Miss Universe (Pick of the Week, 24th December 2012)
Big Brother Africa

Big Brother Africa has much more bush safari to offer! (

Recent/related stories:

Arts, tech. & funnies

FEMEN activists topless protest in Berlin

FEMEN activists staged topless protest at film producers symposium in Berlin (

Info: FEMEN (

Recent/related stories:

Those topless FEMEN protestors are at it again (Pick of the Week, 4th February)
George Orwell’s 1984

Big Brother IS reading you. Sales of Orwell’s 1984 rocket in wake of US Prism surveillance scandal (

Recent/related stories:

“The Ionian Dance” by Sir Edward John Poynter

“Lost” painting of Pompeii which shocked the Victorians to sell at auction (

“The painting, by Sir Edward John Poynter and entitled The Ionian Dance, shows a young woman dancing for an audience in a sheer dress.”

Recent/related stories:

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Tags: Ashley Tisdale, Beyonce, Cara Delevingne, Emma Watson, Farrah Abraham, Jamie Chung, Karen Gillan, Kate Moss, Leyla Ghobadi, Lindsay Mills, Miley Cyrus, Reese Witherspoon, Rihanna, Rita Ora, Vanessa Hudgens.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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