Tip: Please give your vote in at least one Picks Poll to enable search results. Thank you.
Search for phrase rather than keywords
Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

24th June 2013

Page: prev. | 1 | next

Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely ran a mile from that!

No responsibility is taken for the content of any external websites to which links may lead. All links are verified safe with McAfee Site Advisor when posted. Some sites linked to may feature advertisements. If ads are problematic you could try Adblock Plus for Chrome or Firefox. Please be aware that some sites depend upon ads to cover their hosting costs.

This weeks stories & pics

XXXtina, sized-down, but thankfully not quite saying “bye to thigh”
XXXtina, sized-down, but thankfully not quite saying “bye to thigh”.
Rihanna hits fan with microphone

Rihanna slugged a fan with the microphone—as you do (

“Her enraged reaction seemed to be triggered by someone who was grabbing her sleeve and refusing to let go.”

You can certainly see there’s some sleeve pulling going on but the mic/fan contact is below camera, so I’m not so sure if that was “in the face” as reported or perhaps just on the arm or shoulder.

Cara Delevingne, night out with Rihanna

Anyway, much more interesting was that she was up all night using a strap-on partying with new BFF Cara Delevingne, who is planning to lick whisk RiRi away on a boozy holiday to help her get over difficult Brown (

See, I did that without mentioning anything about a threesome with Rita Ora. I’m getting better see, honest.

But speaking of Rita …

Recent/related stories:

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Rita Ora, sporty sight out in L.A.

Rita Ora was a sporty sight out in L.A. (

Recent/related stories:

Rita Ora came out for Coachella (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Christina Aguilera, The Voice finale

Christina Aguilera proudly showed off her dramatic weight loss in skintight skirt on The Voice finale (

“A lot of people were on her about her weight and it depressed her,” a friend said. “She went through a bad time because of the criticism.”

Well, I’m extremely bias, but I think she’s looked great whenever. Ironically though, she seemed to garner more lubricious interest with her curvier figure.

Christina Aguilera, The Voice finale

Xtina’s weight has has always been been yo-yoing and she is rumored to have suffered from an eating disorder in her teens. It‘s great to see she’ not quite saying “bye to thigh”.

Here’s the pics (

Recent/related stories:

Xtina proudly showed of those curves at American Music Awards (Pick of the Week, 26th November 2012)
Mariah Carey, curvey bikini candids in Italy

Mariah Carey, curvey bikini candids in Italy (

Recent/related stories:

Nicki Minaj, boobs barely covered and frock slipping down

Nicki Minaj tweeted her frock bombs busting out (

Recent/related stories:

Helen Flanagan boob in Ibiza

Oops! Helen Flanagan slipped a tittie in Ibiza, but home-alone tweet proved more of a boob (

“HELEN Flanagan was held hostage by armed raiders at her £2.8million home—hours after tweeting that she was missing her boyfriend who was away on holiday.”
Updated 2nd July 2013.

Here’s the pics of Helen’s Ibiza oops (, link updated 6th July 2013 for extra pictures).

Updated 26th June 2013.

Things were to get worse-worse for Helen who within days split up with football ace boyfriend she had been missing after spying sexts on his phone that were not to her and the realisation she’d left some nawty selfies on a phone pinched in the burglary which may turn up online (

“The embarrassing fodder is alleged to include sexy self-taken pictures of herself posing topless, in her fancy pants and intimate texts….”

Which The Mirror is no doubt impatiently binging/googling for right now.

Recent/related stories:

Kate Upton on a horse

TMZ upset just about everyone by getting Kate Upton topless on a horse but then splashing stars on her blinkers (

Recent/related stories:

A pair in…

Courtney Stodden showed off her new DD’s

Courtney Stodden showed off her new DD’s (

Recent/related stories:

Courtney Stodden got naked for E! (Pick of the Week, 3rd June)

And another…

Farrah Abraham, new boobs photoshoot

Farrah Abraham showed off her new non-porn titties (

Recent/related stories:

And a pair out.

Amanda Bynes had her implants removed

Amanda Bynes had her implants removed (

“I got my breast implants removed,” Bynes confirmed via email to Radar. “They were uncomfortable… I prefer them out.”

The removed implants now have a Twitter account where she can tweet “You’re ugly!” to them to her hearts content.

Recent/related stories:

Amanda Bynes’ Twitter feuds: who’s next? (Pick of the Week, 3rd June)
Brooke Burke, bikini candids in Mexico

Brooke Burke gave some bikini candids in Mexico (

Doutzen Kroes, photoshoot nip slip

Oops! Doutzen Kroes gave a photoshoot nip slip (

Recent/related stories:

Doutzen Kroes bikini candids in Miami (Pick of the Week, 7th May)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Celebrity girl crushes

Celebrity girl crushes (

“Britney Spears has given us all something to think about this week … The mum-of-two tweeted: ‘Loving your new video for #WeCantStop @MileyCyrus! Maybe you can teach me how to twerk sometime LOL.’”

So, which pairing would it be for you? Miley twerking with Brit Brit, Gwyneth Paltrow sharing her 70s bush with Beyoncé, or RiRi getting yummy with Megan Fox?

Updated 1st August 2013.
Britney Spears accepts Miley Cyrus twerking lessons offer
“Happy with the deal, Britney tweeted Miley back, saying: ‘@MileyCyrus That's a deal im going to hold you 2.’”

Do you want to see Britney’s bum twerking? Your Vote: Britney Spears love-hate relationship with her derriere. Love it or…?

Kirsty Heslewood crowned Miss England 2013

Kirsty Heslewood crowned Miss England 2013 (

“Working for the title for three years, Kirsty entered Miss England to help her gain more self-confidence after suffering from selective mutism (an anxiety disorder that prevents children from speaking).”

Good on you, girl!

Recent/related stories:

Arts, tech. & funnies

Topless FEMEN activists target Belarus president

Topless FEMEN activists targeted Belarus president (

“Activists directed profanities at the president, accusing him of being the last dictator in Europe.”
Info: FEMEN (

Recent/related stories:

Penis Monologues upset tug

Penis promoting the The Penis Monologues had to be rescued by virgina after angry passer-by took offence and gave him a tug (

“I tried to calm him down, I wasn’t looking for a fight, but he grabbed my hat, tore it off and chucked it on the pavement.”

Ouch! Pulled his helmet off!

Viagra drug patent expires

Cheap Viagra on the way as drug patent expires (

“That could result in the £10-a-pill price falling through the floor, to around 85p each. It’s thought up to 20 companies are hoping to market their own versions of the drug in the coming months.”

Hadn’t it already passed it’s sell-by date with the introduction of Cialis? I guess spammers will be looking for a new niche.

Susanne du Toit’s portrait of her son Pieter: “It is all about the hands”

Painting of the artist’s son wins BP portrait award for Susanne du Toit (

“It is all about the hands, said artist Susanne du Toit about her striking and powerful portrait of her 35-year-old son Pieter, which last night won her one of the UK’s most prestigious visual arts prizes.”

I’m convinced female artists are obsessed with men’s hands. An artist I used to knock about with on a poetry forum was known to request pictures of guy’s hands.

Info: BP Portrait Award (
Adobe Creative Cloud

Reviews are in as Adobe moves to the Creative Cloud.

Creative Cloud review (

“Adobe has today released what under its previous approach to upgrades would have been called CS7…. But as the company has moved to a largely-subscription-only model—bundling in online services for online typography and portfolio hosting, alongside its core desktop applications…”

Photoshop CC review.

“Say goodbye to physical media and Photoshop CS6, and hello to a Creative Cloud subscription and Photoshop CC.”

It mentioned everybody else, but where is the “digital painter?” The irony of the matter is that although most seem to turn there nose up at PS as a digital painting tool in preference to more dedicated painting software, the majority of tutorials you will see both online and in print are usually for PS, or require you to go into PS or an equivalent such as GIMP at some point to do what the dedicated painter can’t. I truly think it’s the “photo” in the name that makes digital painters wish they were using something else, causing the digital painter to be ignored in such reviews.

But anyway…. The subscription model has certainly come in for some early flack.

Opinion: How Adobe Creative Cloud left me amused, perplexed and infuriated.

“Everyone I spoke to at Adobe so far has been very polite and rather delightful. Fucking incompetent, but delightful”


Updated 25th June 2013.

Recent/related stories:

Adobe denies “free” CS2 downloads are a giveaway (Pick of the Week, 22nd January)
Labour politician “fathered a child with an alien”

Labour politician “fathered a child with an alien” (

“The known extra-terrestrial enthusiast said his intergalactic relations are with an alien being he calls ‘the Cat Queen’, and together they have fathered a child called Zarka.”

She’s stuck her claws in though:

“[The] married father-of-three who sits on Whitby Town Council, said his wife was ‘very unhappy’ with the revelation.”

No shit, Sherlock!

Ancient Egyptian relic in museum spins around by itself

TV’s Brian Cox among experts called in to investigate ancient Egyptian relic in museum that spins around by itself (

“The 10-ins tall statuette of a man called Neb-Senu, which dates back to 1800 BC, mysteriously spins 180 degrees with nobody going near it.”

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

Have a story for Pick of the Month?

If we are in touch I’d be very grateful if you’d send it along.

Page: prev. | 1 | next

Tags: Amanda Bynes, Brooke Burke, Christina Aguilera, Courtney Stodden, Doutzen Kroes, Farrah Abraham, Helen Flanagan, Kate Upton, Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Rita Ora.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

Privacy policy

No cookies, ad and tracker free. Read more.