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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

10th July 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and scribbled after buying two Belgian buns from here.

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This weeks stories & pics

Consummate professional that she is, Lady Gaga uses her “heavy rubber lover” to pump her own wax for her next effigy.
Selena Gomez’s Bosten performance wardrobe malfunction that wasn’t

Selena Gomez’s Bosten performance wardrobe malfunction that wasn’t (

Selena is a very popular girl, and that the pequeña latina may have accidentally shown her coño liso initially evoked quite a fap flurry on some celeb boards; alas, the truth was nude coloured bragas. If SelGo’s runaway lead as celeb you’d most like to see in a sex tape is anything to go by then many will still be eagerly awaiting that magic oops moment when it does come.

In the meantime, if you are craving your fix of delicioso coño latina, you may find Latina Pick of the Week delivers.

Recent/related stories:

Selena Gomez invites you to “Come and Get It” (Latina Pick of the Week, 14th May)
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Mariah Carey, 4th July

Mariah Carey gave for 4th July (

Here’s the pics (

Recent/related stories:

Mariah Carey, curvey bikini candids in Italy (Pick of the Week, 24th June)
Nicki Minaj, 2013 The BET Awards

Nicki Minaj wagered a lot of tittie at The BET Awards (

Recent/related stories:

Nicki Minaj tweeted her frock bombs busting out (Pick of the Week, 24th June)
Kristen Stewart, Zuhair Murad show

Was Kristen Stewart sending R-Patz a not so subtle message in see-through jumpsuit at Paris Fashion Week’s Zuhair Murad show? (

“Kristen outing [sic] came as her ex Robert Pattinson was linked to her friend Riley Keough, with whom she starred in movie The Runaways in 2010.”

Well, the legs were see-thru if little else, and K-Stew sending estranged R-Patz a message is more clitty on the tip of journalistic tongue than anything else.

That’s quite a look though, and speaking of which, MSN discovered that the facial expression most associated with Kristen is actually named “Bitchy Resting Face” (

“… according to experts this is a real phenomenon that many women have to deal with.”

I love those “experts”. So give the girl a break; it’s not her fault she’s looking at you like you just pulled out an already creamimg three inch twinkie.

Kristen Stewart, Zuhair Murad show

Here’s those pics and more in HQ (

Recent/related stories:

Jennifer Lopez apology for dicator gig

Jennifer Lopez apologised for singing happy birthday to brutal Turkmen dictator (

“Lopez reportedly changed into a traditional Turkmen outfit during her show and personally serenaded Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow—whose government is accused of arbitrarily arresting and torturing political dissidents.”

Does Berdimuhamedow have a wall of photographs of his celebrity sexual conquests like Middle Eastern autocrat Aladeen?

Updated 10th September 2013.
“…when I fall, I get back up. When I am wrong, I will learn the lesson and move on to face other challenges. For me, that’s what creating your own life is. Doing your best work while being your best self.”
Updated 16th July 2013.

The story just won’t go away! J.Lo made over $10m “serenading crooks” according to report (

“The Human Rights Foundation, … has issued a report showing that in the last couple of years the Latina mogul has received ‘in excess of $10 million for serenading crooks and dictators from Eastern Europe and Russia.’”

Recent/related stories:

J.Lo scored the 2,500th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (Latina Pick of the Week, 24th june)
Rachel Bilson slams The The Bling Ring film

Rachel Bilson slammed The Bling Ring flick in Cosmo for glorifying the crimes she was a victim of (

“Bilson is said to have lose thousads [sic] of dollars worth of clothing and jewlery, but also treasured posessions such as her mother’s engagement ring.”

Here’s Rachel in those simply deliciously pics from August’s Cosmopolitan in HQ (

The Bling Ring reviewed

Now out, the first reviews of The Bling Ring are in. How’d it do? (

“It may have a point to make about celebrity obsession but mostly it’s as superficial as its characters.”

Heck, that’s the furtive furtile field in which celebrity fandom is sown!

Recent/related stories:

Gwen Stefani’s tummy

I’m an unashamed fan of Gwen Stefani’s tummy too! (

Recent/related stories:

Gwen Stefani Lorenzo Agius photoshoot (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Lana Del Rey filming music video in L.A.

Lana Del Rey got her tummy out too (

Emily Ratajkowski, Galore magazine

Emily Ratajkowski, tits, ass & bush Galore! (

Recent/related stories:

Emily Ratajkowski was naked in Treats outtakes (Pick of the Week, 8th April)
Zahia Dehar opens a lingerie and cake shop in Paris

Former sex scandal escort girl Zahia Dehar opened a lingerie and cake shop in Paris (

[Insert comment about sticky buns here.]

Here’s the pics (

Recent/related stories:

Jim Kelly, Enter the Dragon

Enter the Dragon’s Jim Kelly sadly passed on (

“He played he Afro-topped tough guy named Williams in the 1973 [Bruce Lee] cult classic ‘Enter the Dragon’ and supplied some of the film’s best lines: He’s ‘too busy lookin’ good,’ Mr. Han-man comes ‘right out of a comic book,’ and ‘ghettoes are the same all over the world—they stink.’”

“Bullshit, Mr. Han-man.” Machismo sound-bytes for a generation. So sad. You can catch some of those classic lines in the clip here (

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Lady Gaga waxwork, Musée Grévin in Paris

Lady Gaga got a waxwork at Musée Grévin in Paris (

The outfit the waxwork is wearing is based on a Charlie Le Mindu design, as seen on Gaga in these snaps: 1 | 2 (

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga has bored the internet, research claims (Pick of the Week, 4th February)
Kristina & Karissa Shannon, poolside twins

Kristina & Karissa Shannon were ass’tastic poolside Playmate twins (

Info: Kristina and Karissa Shannon (

Arts, tech. & funnies

Wanting the world’s smallest waist

Wanting the world’s smallest waist (

“Michele Koebke has shrunk her waist to a tiny 54cm by wearing a corset everyday for three years—even whilst she sleeps.”


Recent/related stories:

Jessica Alba revealed brutal corset regime (Pick of the Week, 30th April)
if Barbie were modelled after a “normal-sized” woman

What if Barbie were modelled after a “normal-sized” woman? (

Hey, I think those curves look pretty damn hot—especially in the ass area!

Recent/related stories:

If Barbie posed for the old masters… (Pick of the Week, 4th February 2012)
“What Do Women Want?” by Daniel Bergner

Author Daniel Bergner claims research suggests women’s desire is an “underestimated and constrained force” in What Do Women Want? (

Are women as excited by unmonogomous sexual encounters as men are perceived to be? Although the socially-acceptable answer is “no” the science cries “yes, yes, YES” it seems:

“… subjects maintained that the strangers aroused them least of all. The plethysmograph said the opposite: sex with strangers delivered a blood storm.”

I don’t really see much new here though—for years Germaine Greer’s been vocal on female fantasies of sex with football teams (, cut in at 5:35 to hear Germaine contest the assumption that female fantasies are monogomous).

Bergner is a guy of course; what’s a female perspective on his book: A feminist sexologist review of Dan Bergner’s “What Do Women Want?” (

“Bergner doesn’t propose that monogamy is a patriarchal plot, exactly. But the take-home message of his book is clear: Women are less suited for monogamy than men, and it may all be a colossal con job that everyone thinks the opposite.”

Yikes! There you go, but are we any nearer to accepting it without condemnation or are those double-standards eternal?

Recent/related stories:

Sex and the City praised for eradicating pubic lice

Sex and the City praised for eradicating pubic lice (

“… doctors have pointed to an episode aired in 2000, which centred around Brazilian waxing, for helping the battle against the pesky insects.”

The minge may now be commonly a shaven haven from the crab louse but does that mean those left living are left marooned on some dudes particularly hairy nads?

Recent/related stories:

Kate Moss, “great modern muse” in Christie’s contemporary art sale

Kate Moss celebrated as “great modern muse” in Christie’s contemporary art sale (

“More than 50 pieces in various media will go on sale at Christie’s on 25 September with prices starting from £4,000.”
Updated 9th September 2013.
Kate Moss by pop artist Allen Jones
“…portraits, artworks and sculptures of Moss over the past 20 years by names including Nick Knight and Allen Jones, this collection reveals the famously silent model interpreted in many different ways.”

Recent/related stories:

“Au Naturel” by Sarah Lucas

The Guardian’s Jonathan Jones contends Sarah Lucas is a far better sculptor than Moore or Hepworth ever were (

“Moore and Hepworth share similar concerns to Lucas. They imagine the human body transfigured into abstract form. Lucas, too, transforms the body, but in ways that always point back, with harsh humour, towards the unvarnished facts of life.”

Recent/related stories:

Sarah Lucas is still doing… things with the female form (Pick of the Week, 1st October 2012)
Mark Rothko mural vandalised

Tate show “Art Under Attack” charts history of violence against art (

“It is a sensitive area for modern galleries and arguably a bold decision for Tate Britain to stage the show. Its sister gallery Tate Modern was one of the most recent victims of attack when Wlodzimierz Umaniec defaced a Rothko in the name, he said, of “yellowism”.”
Updated 13th July 2013.
“Art is not prayed to in modern Britain. It is set apart though, and that makes it a target.”

I dunno, the revenue it can possibly create I’m sure generates a lot of prayers.

Recent/related stories:

Sky Deutschland to “beam adverts into train passengers’ heads”

Sky Deutschland to “beam adverts into train passengers’ heads” (

“When a tired commuter rests their head against a carriage window, an ad urging them to download the Sky Go app that only they can hear will be transmitted.”

Blimey! I don't like the sound of that. If I start resting my head on something and start hearing voices in my head I’ll be convinced I’m about to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

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Tags: Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Lopez, Kate Moss, Kristen Stewart, Kristina & Karissa Shannon, Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, Rachel Bilson, Selena Gomez, Zahia Dehar.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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