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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

30th July 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely in the same quantum superposition as Miley’s tongue until measured.

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This weeks stories & pics

Kylie Minogue, still got it, still keen to show it
Kylie Minogue: a perennial favourite for many, still got it, still keen to show it.
Rihanna, seeing psychic and Cara

Rihanna has reportedly turned to a psychic and is inseperable from Cara Delevingne (

“She’s worried her fans could turn against her and is also convinced she’ll lose her fame… Cara is the person she turns to for everything these days, especially when she’s feeling down.”

Oh, to be one of those bodyguards rushing to keep up with Cara, clutching a huge strap-on, and new ”wifey” RiRi as they “disappear down stairwells!”

What a dubious seesaw fame, popularity and the difficult Brown is to have driven her to rub the crystal balls of a psychic. We can at least hope that an excellent Instagram opportunity is Rihanna, braless see-thru candids in Stockholm foretold there.

Here’s RiRi braless and see-thru in Stockholm (

Recent/related stories:

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Miley Cyrus nude for Marc Jacobs Protect Your Skin campaign

Miley Cyrus bared all, this time for a good cause (

“Only carefully placed hands and the campaign’s slogan ‘Protect Your Skin’ prevent the singer from exposing her modesty.”

That means exposing her southern territory or her minge, BTW, which she wasn’t at all that modest about last week anyway. What’s with the “this time for a good cause” headline anyway, Current Bun? It’s always a good cause and doesn’t it always makes good copy.

Here’s the bare pic on its own (

Miley Cyrus Fruehstuecksfernsehen TV Show

And here’s Miley doing the tongue thing for Fruehstuecksfernsehen (

Recent/related stories:

Selena Gomez, celebrating 21st birthday Roosevelt hotel

Selena Gomez rented a party bus for her week-plus-long 21st birthday shenanigans (

Any of you rolling your eyes obviously don’t remember well enough what you go up to—or wished to—on your 21st!

Here’s a horny SelGo celebrating at the Roosevelt hotel in L.A. (

Recent/related stories:

Selena Gomez invited you to “Come and Get It” (Latina Pick of the Week, 14th May)
Jennifer Lopez, Premios Juventud in Miami

Jennifer Lopez’s culo performed at Premios Juventud in Miami (

Recent/related stories:

J.Lo was actitud provocativa in August’s W magazine (Latina Pick of the Week, 17th July)
Kylie Minogue, Portofino holiday snaps

Kylie Minogue is still keen to show off her famous ass-et (

“In fact the pint size singer was so keen to show off her famous asset she made sure she got the perfect shot of it so she could then share the perfected picture on social networks.”

Thank you, Kylie! Here’s those pics and more (

Updated 25th August 2013.
Pictures link updated.

Recent/related stories:

Kylie Minogue’s Extra sexy ass! (Pick of the Week, 26th November 2012)
Jennifer Nicole Lee pool crack-shots

Jennifer Nicole Lee gave pool crack-shots (

Recent/related stories:

Jennifer Nicole Lee raised many a British pole (Pick of the Week, 25th March)
Nina Agdal, Euroman

Nina Agdal got topless for Euroman (

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal butt-naked Esquire photoshoot (Pick of the Week, 21st May)
Nina Agdal Aerie bikini photoshoot (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Irina Shayk, GQ Russia

Irina Shayk got engines purring in August’s GQ Russia (

Recent/related stories:

Irina Shayk was a yummy Beach Bunny (Pick of the Week, 25th February)
Barbara Guerra

Disgraced Italian P.M. Silvio Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga girls Barbara Guerra and Alessandra Sorcinelli still grabbing at something, even if it‘s only attention (

“Earlier this year, both girls were among the 30-odd women who appeared in court documents as authorities investigated Silvio Berlusconi’s sleazy parties in 2011….”

You can give those piccies and more your attention in HQ here (

Recent/related stories:

Amanda Bynes involuntarily hospitalised

Amanda Bynes was involuntarily hospitalised after setting her pants on fire and blaming her dog (or something like that anyway) (

“After the police and fire department had been called, Amanda was questioned by Ventura County Sheriff’s Department deputies who determined that she fit the 5150 hold—meaning that she was involuntarily hospitalised for a mental health evaluation.”

I’ve never set my pants on fire or even had a dog, but I have been sectioned (UK version of 5150) and let me tell you, it is not a pleasant experience. Yup, all the bong-tossin’, boob flashing and invitations to dark sausage to murder her coochie was great fun to read but it’s a shame the ugly, ugly Twitter insults bit couldn’t have been drawn to a close a lot sooner—it certainly wasn’t in Amanda’s best interests although undoubtedly was in Twitters.

Fame and popularity is a helluva drug when it’s dripping away. #GetWellSoonAmandaBynes

But wait. WTF? How the hell did Sam Lutfi get involved with Amanda Bynes? (

Sam Lutfi
“The two became friends in recent months. ‘It’s very concerning to say the very least, given Sam’s history with Britney Spears leading up to her father, Jamie Spears, getting a conservatorship over his daughter, and getting a restraining order preventing Lutfi from having any contact with her.”

And gave him a right-hander too. When awkward behaviour and wanning success makes others drop you like a stone there is always that certain type of person who’ll “be your friend”, while there’s still anything left in the pot of course.

Updated 1st August 2013.

It is a shame that it is not her recovery that has put her back in the headlines but reference in the developing fued between Miley Cyrus and Sinead O’Connor (

Updated 1st August 2013.
“Amanda Bynes has responded ‘remarkably well’ to a cocktail of drugs at the psychiatric hospital where she’s being treated for suspected schizophrenia.”

Kind, and wise words from friend and Mariah Carey’s husband Nick Cannon too.

Recent/related stories:

Amanda Bynes had her implants removed (Pick of the Week, 24th June)
Adrianne Curry at Comic-Con 2013

Jennifer Lawrence, Nina Dobrev, and Adrianne Curry brought skin to Comic-Con (

Recent/related stories:

Adrianne Curry went for a topless dip on Instagram (Pick of the Week, 30th April)
Was Kristen Stewart showing off a boob job at Comic-Con? (Pick of the Week, 26th July 2012)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Lady Gaga nude in ARTPOP promos and V magazine

Lady Gaga posed nude for ARTPOP promo and V magazine (

“The ‘Poker Face’ star resurfaced on Twitter to share the naked photo with fans as part of her ARTPOP album campaign.”
Updated 14th August 2013.

Here’s those ARTPOP promos and uncensored nudes for V in HQ (

Recent/related stories:

James Deen and Andy San Dimas, first Google Glass porno promo

James Deen and Andy San Dimas got it on in first Google Glass porno promo (

“[James Deen and Andy San Dimas] are seen romping in an office in the 3.21 teaser created by MiKandi that sees their Google Glass gadgets firing out random information at them during the steamy session. ”

You can catch the teaser promo here (

Still more Glass-hype than Glass-porn as yet, but can it stay that way despite Google’s porn app ban? As Ron Jeremy says towards the end, “I’m coming over.”

The teaser certainly perfectly demonstrates its porn POV potential but also the ad-poppin’ corner of the eye nightmare the Glass search experience can be envisaged to potentially be or become.

Has it turned you on to Glass?
Nope, and I don’t wanna see yours either! 54%
Yup; I wanna record my own POV features 46%

This poll has now been archived.

Recent/related stories:

Arts, tech. & funnies

Is Jodi Ellen Malpas’s This Man the new Fifty Shades of Grey?

Has Jodi Ellen Malpas written new Fifty Shades of Grey? (

“Her protagonist is Jesse Ward, a muscular 6ft 3in ‘love god’ who runs a sex hotel and has an all-consuming affair with his interior designer, Ava O’Shea.”

In common with the Fifty Shades books, Malpas’s women yearn to be dominated by men. Likely it will attract many to heap ridicule and disapproval on “mommy porn” and yet others finding it a vindication of their Gorean fantasies who’ll be readying stocks, cages and a whip in anticipation.

What ever your thoughts on it, the sales certainly confirm its appeal, but I’m curious: is the turn on for women reading such fantasies really of being tied and beat? Why do strong women like to be dominated? (

“… studies seem to indicate, … that ladies don’t enjoy the forcefulness itself as much as the idea that an overpowering passion is bubbling over behind that forcefulness.”

Representative of a physically and psychologically dominant paramour rather than a cruel master? And at end-game does this “overpowering bubbling passion” aroused steer a reversal of dominance? For some may say whereas men conquere the world to conquer women, women conquere men to conquer the world.

Recent/related stories:

“No Ball Games” by Banksy

Banksy’s stolen salvaged “No Ball Games” mural to sell at auction (

“‘No Ball Games’ was removed from the side of a shop in Turnpike Lane, Tottenham Green, and will be sold next year by the Sincura Group—the company which arranged the sale of the artist’s “Slave Labour” piece in May.”

Recent/related stories:

Schrodinger’s Cat

New research reveals Schrödinger’s Cat paradox could be bigger than thought (

“If the research proves true, that would bolster the validity of a thought experiment suggesting that a cat can be both alive and dead at the same time.”

There you go: and you thought the philosophical notion of idealism was long dead and buried. It should be recalled that Schrödinger himself presented the hypothetical thought experiment to illustrate the absurdity of what the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics proposed and did not believe it himself but it has almost became the de facto introduction to quantum physics.

Updated 8th April 2015.

Story link changed. Unfortunately the original story appears to be in a superposition itself—prehaps alive, prehaps dead—I just can’t bloody find another link to it—but although it does not contain the original quote I recall the new link pretty much contains everything else to do with the story.

UK porn opt-in to be enforced

British P.M. David Cameron finally gets his porn crackdown to divert attention protect the innocent (

“By the end of next year, all 19million UK homes currently connected to the net will be contacted by service providers and told they must say whether family-friendly filters that block all porn sites should be switched on or off.”

They can then say “yes”, “no“ or “whatever, he’ll access it by proxy or on Rapidshare anyway”

While I agree wholeheartedly that youth needs to be sheltered from the salacity of the internet as much as possible, I’m also very much a pragmatist on the issue. What I find disturbing though is that the talk seems to make no differentiation between legal and illegal pornography, rather painting it all with the same icky brush even though part of what Cammy is fighting is that pornographic pop culture has to a large degree become mainstream, which he has also rebuked: David Cameron stepping up plans to issue age certificates for raunchy music videos (

And the DailyMail—fellow champians of the campaign—is always prepared to bring such shocking raunchy music and oops related stories to our attention in graphic detail. As I’m sure that many acts will be delighted to get an 18+ rating on an album to ramp up sales to 16 year-olds need we ask can the cork really be put back in the bottle?

Updated 20th September 2013.
“…banks and credit card firms will be asked to hold back cash from paying customers of websites hosting explicit, although still legal, material if they are unable to implement restrictions…”

Related stories:

Updated 17th September 2013.
“To lump everything considered pornography or explicit is unfair. It overlooks the variety and diversity of us all and the diversity of content that the internet provides. Don’t let us become the new Puritans of the 21st Century.”
Updated 3rd August 2013.
Make Love Not Porn founder Cindy Gallop
“We all watch porn; we don’t acknowledge it. Porn exists in a parallel universe, a shadowy otherworld. When you force anything into the shadows and underground, you make it a lot easier for bad things to happen, and a lot harder for good things to happen.”

And you thought she was going to be anti-porn. She’s not, she want’s to “reinvent human sexuality as entertainment in innovative, healthier ways, and turn the British porn industry into something to be proud of” and gives her opinion on what has created the horrors under which Cameron is able to lump all porn:

“The growth of extreme violent porn is not the result of evil, twisted, malignant forces at work within the porn industry. Nor is it the result of an ever more corrupted and depraved user base. It's the result, prosaically, of a bunch of business people terrified they're no longer making money, doing what business people in any sector terrified about not making money do—playing it safe.”

Hear, hear! So has oversaturation pushed boundaries into an ever more novelty cheered corner? Hey, I like some of those novelties though: I’m not quite sure if Cindy’s idea of porn might not be more concerned with O-face expressions and a massage after rather than anything visually up close and personal, but hey, different strokes for and all that.

Info: Cindy Gallop (
Updated 3rd August 2013.
Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales
“Asked about Mr Cameron’s plans, the Wikipedia founder told Channel 4 News: ‘It’s an absolutely ridiculous idea. It won’t work. The software you would use to implement this doesn’t work.”

It’s not about making it work, it’s another punch bag he can whack to distract from the rest of the country’s woes, which indeed the cost of the new legislation won’t help either. Chatting to people in our block’s park today who seem to think that it means porn will be totally banned indicates that his populist right-hook spin is hitting home too. If only he could get all those benefit work-dodgers and immigrants on the hook with those dirty pervs too for a crusading uppercut, huh.

Recent/related stories:

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Tags: Adrianne Curry, Alessandra Sorcinelli, Amanda Bynes, Barbara Guerra , Cara Delevingne, Irina Shayk, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Nicole Lee, Kylie Minogue, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Nina Agdal, Nina Dobrev, Rihanna, Selena Gomez.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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