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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

5th August 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and not looking at Katy Perry’s t*** either.

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This weeks stories & pics

Lindsay Lohan’s sticky canyon
Lindsay putting her ginger juggs canyon to great use.

Recent/related stories:

Teaser trailer for The Canyons (Pick of the Week, 15th October 2012).
Lindsay Lohan, The Canyons

Stars for Lindsay Lohan as The Canyons comes in for first reviews (

“The film marks the mainstream debut of [James] Deen playing opposite Lohan in a comeback role of sorts, who’s made headlines Lindsay Lohan topless in The Canyons of late more for her off-set behavior than her on-screen appearances.”

And here’s LiLo’s topless ginger jugs from the movie (

Updated 13th August 2013.

Oh dear.

Updated 9th August 2013.

Not so twinkling from more mainstream press:

“The key problem with ‘The Canyons’ is that it has been conceived … as intentionally distant and lifeless.”


More good news came for Lindsay with her well received guest-host gig on Chelsea Lately just two days after rehab (

“… sources on set said the actress was ‘very funny,’ mocking host Chelsea Handler for drinking too much and holding her own during a roundtable with with comedians Jen Kirkman and Fortune Feimster. ”

And a seeming confirmation that she at least gobbled The Wanted’s Max George, if you needed one.

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Katy Perry

Katy Perry denied R-Patz rumours (

[Text to Kristen Stewart] “I know you’ve seen all this stuff but you know I would never disrespect you. I’m not that person. I’m just trying to be a friend to him but it is unfortunate that I do have a set of t***.”

Did she have her top up and her stuff out giving him a look while she sent it?

Here’s Katy giving Gargamel a blue boner at the Smurfs 2 L.A. premier (

Recent/related stories:

Katy Perry came out for Coachella (Pick of the Week, 23rd April)
Rihanna pokie nipples

Rihanna’s nipples point the way in West Hollywood (

Recent/related stories:

Christina Aguilera, The Voice panel Summer TCA Tour

Christina Aguilera was all sunshine for NBCUniversal’s Summer TCA Tour party

And The Voice panel Summer TCA Tour (

Recent/related stories:

Jessie J, Radio City Live

Jessie J wanted all to look at her crotch at Radio City Live in Liverpool (

Recent/related stories:

Jessie J had shaved her head for Comic Relief (Pick of the Week, 19th March)
Helen Flanagan votes her boobs as best

Helen Flanagan claimed “I have the best boobs I’ve ever seen on anyone in the world. Ever” (

And here she is giving some deep best boobie cleavage and a see-thru peek at her knickers (

Does Helen get your vote for best boobs? If not who gets your best boobs vote?
Christina Aguilera 7%
Jessica Simpson 6%
Scarlett Johansson 5%
Kate Upton 4%
Katy Perry 4%
Selena Gomez 4%
Helen Flanagan 3%
Jennifer Lawrence 3%
Lindsay Lohan 3%
Salma Hayek 3%
Sofia Vergara 3%
Kim Kardashian 3%
Kelly Brook 3%
Kat Dennings 2%
Mandy Moore 2%
Nicki Minaj 2%
Anne Hathaway 2%
Jessica Alba 2%
Rihanna 2%
Jenni “J-Woww” Farley 2%
Christina Hendricks 2%
Catharine Bell 2%
Other 2%
Britney Spears 2%
Vanessa Hudgens 2%
Mila Kunis 2%
Jennifer Love Hewitt 2%
Melissa Joan Hart 2%
Mariah Carey 2%
Emily Ratajkowski 2%
Maria Menounos 2%
Rosario Dawson 1%
Tulisa Contostavlos 1%
Shakira 1%
Rita Ora 1%
Miley Cyrus 1%
Keeley Hazell 1%
Eva Mendes 1%
Elisha Cuthbert 1%
Candice Swanepoel 1%
Gwyneth Paltrow 1%
Halle Berry 1%
Lady Gaga 1%
Keira Knightley 1%
Courtney Stodden 0%
Laetitia Casta 0%
Estella Warren 0%
Farrah Abraham 0%
Jennifer Lopez 0%
Megan Fox 0%
Jennifer Tilly 0%
Nina Agdal 0%

This poll has now been archived.

Recent/related stories:

Kat Dennings Summer TCA

Kat Dennings gave ginormous Summer TCA tittie (

Recent/related stories:

Capri Anderson

Charlie Sheen moves in porn star Capri Anderson who accused him of assault (

“Capri Anderson, 25, tried to get £750,000 out of Sheen, 47, after she had to cower naked in a bathroom because he was in a rage.”

Recent/related stories:

Charlie Sheen made porn star Georgia Jones a Goddess! (Pick of the Week, 14th January)
Lady Gaga as La Chameleón in Machete Kills

Lady Gaga gives Danny Trejo a reason to pull out his weapon in Machete Kills (

“La Chameleón is an old lover of Machete Cortez. Both having some unfinished business, she comes back at him in the movie.”

Recent/related stories:

Sofia Vergara’s boobs open fire in Machete Kills (Latina Pick of the Week, 13th March)
Lady Gaga joins Alexa Vega in Machete Kills (Pick of the Week, 30th July 2012)

.:: Top column 2 ::.

Hey, first reviews of the long awaited Lovelace biopic are out, and who better than from within the biz itself (

“Given the long and anxious build-up to its arrival, many are likely to go into Lovelace, the first biopic of Deep Throat star Linda Lovelace to make it out the door, expecting something of a Boogie Nights 2…”

It sure has been a heck of a long time coming. Hmmm, well the good news at least is that:

“Amanda Seyfried is infectious in the title role (and yes, for all those champing at the bit to know, she does bare her bazooms quite a bit.”
Amanda Seyfried on Lovelace
Updated 20th August 2013.
“… this movie is not about porn, it’s about a porn star.”

You can catch a first look at Amanda Seyfried’s titties in Lovelace in Pick of the Week 15th August.

Amanda Seyfried, Lovelace Hollywood premier
Updated 6th August 2013.
Juno Temple, Lovelace Hollywood premier

And co-star Juno Temple still aiming to get one up her up on her (

Recent/related stories:

Amanda Seyfried deep-throated popsicles for Lovelace biopic (Pick of the Week, 24th December 2012)

Arts, tech. & funnies

Porn mags pulled from military bases

Porn mags pulled from US military bases—for decreasing demand (

“Among the 891 magazines that AAFES exchanges no longer will sell are some adult titles, including Playboy, Penthouse, American Curves, and Tattoo. Along with other magazine sales, sales of adult sophisticate titles at AAFES stores have declined 86 percent since 1998.”

Well, that lack of demand of course is simply because you can get just about all you want free on the internet. Can porn mags really suvive in a non-digital format in the future? And can their digital formats that charge survive either or will it eventually all be homemade Google Glass gonzo?

And closer to home…

Lads’ mags cover up

UK Lads’ magazines bow to Tesco pressure to cover up (

“[Tesco] said in a statement: ‘We have secured agreement from the publishers of Zoo, Nuts and Front that their magazine covers will be more modest from now on and the publishers of Bizarre will now supply the magazine in a bag.’”

You know, I don’t actually think that’s a bad idea; they are top shelf magazines after all and those aisles don’t really have one high enough. Why do they still sell in any significant amount while porn mags are on the way out? I guess lads do buy them for the articles to read on the carsey during a shift at Pizza Hut while waiting to come home to download porn.

Updated 8th August 2013.
“The Co-operative has confirmed it will no longer sell Nuts magazine from early next month after the title rejected an ultimatum to use ‘modesty bags’ or be removed from shelves.”

Since both mags have toned down their covers for Tesco but reject the extra step of a modesty bag for Co-op I’d guess says more for lack of Co-op sales than anything else. Not suprising: we have a Co-op on our shopping parade and I swear I don’t think I’ve seen more than 4 people in it at once and none of them were under 40.

Recent/related stories:

Lawyers warn over lads’ mag sales (Pick of the Week, 3rd June)
Charles Saatchi

Charles Saatchi set to auction off 50 of his largest sculptures and installations (

“According to Philippa Adams, senior director of the Saatchi Gallery in London, the sale on 17 October, which will take place under the auspices of Christie’s, has ‘absolutely nothing to do with the divorce. We have been working on this for a long time. I can categorically state that’.”

Recent/related stories:

Damien Hirst by Jonathan Yeo

Damien Hirst’s portrait by Jonathan Yeo is an “ironic reflection” (

“Hirst is delighted with the commanding pose—intended ironically, but recalling old master paintings of popes and princes.”

Recent/related stories:

The Sun goes paywall

The Current Bun went paywall (

“People now have to pay to read The Sun newspaper online.”

It’s not the first—the Daily Telegraph started charging in March—and indeed, most US newspaper charge. As the tabloids content is pretty much duplicated by it’s rivals (indeed, I try a round-robin system of picking which one I use for a story for pick of the week that usually they all cover) and the juicy details its exclusives soon filter between their sheets too I’m not betting on a big take up. Proposing that it’s video coverage of all Premier League goals may makes pounds stick to the wall? Hmmm.

Anyway, it does underline the dilemma printed media faces in the digital world and should further convince ol’ Rupert Murdoch what a waste of digital-headlines the internet is, as I’m sure he’ll share on Twitter.

Obviously links from The Sun in picks of the week will now be only an pay-for-offer-to-read. I might get around to updating some as time and opportunity allows.

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Amanda Seyfried, Christina Aguilera, Helen Flanagan, Jessie J, Juno Temple, Kat Dennings, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Rihanna.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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