Pick of the Week
Page: prev. | 1 | next
Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely more concerned with a watching Britney turning wine into water.
No responsibility is taken for the content of any external websites to which links may lead. All links are verified safe with AVG Threat Labs when posted. Some sites linked to may feature advertisements. If ads are problematic you could try Adblock Plus for Chrome or Firefox. Please be aware that some sites depend upon ads to cover their hosting costs.
Last weeks best stories & pics
“…it was the flash of derriere that really caught the eye as her printed mini-skirt billowed during a high energy routine, this revealing a pair of stark white knickers.”
Or so the Daily Mail windily ejaculated.
But to be honest, there wasn’t much rumpus to spill your porridge over, certainly no comparison to her full bare-bum Raging Waters oops at the end of summer last year (Pick of the Week 20th August 2012).
“Despite the calamity, the singer appeared unfazed as she made her way off the stage and back to her hotel, where hordes of fans were awaiting her return. ”
Many still holding their breakfast sausage hostage over her wardrobe “calamity” no doubt.
Looking remarkably like her bottom took possession of it soon after, here’s Katy performing at the iTunes festival in London (imgcelebs.info).
Miley Cyrus would rather be naked than cry (dailystar.co.uk).
“For me, nudity has never been something that I’ve ever tripped about. I don’t really see it the way everyone else sees it.”
The Star goes on to conclude:
“…so that’s why she’s rarely seen wearing a jumper.”
Selena Gomez gave bikini candids in Miami (hotcelebshome.com).
And don’t miss this cheeky tongue poke!
Tulisa Contostavlos gave more bikini candids in Dubai— with added camel toe! (hotcelebshome.com).
Is Helen Flanagan to be the next Bond girl? (celebrity.uk.msn.com).
“The 23-year-old actress reportedly auditioned for the role in Bond 24, which is to commence filming in 2015… [and] according to a source who spoke to the Sun, the actress and I’m A Celebrity star wowed casting agents in Los Angeles.”
The script will undoubtedly call for her to utter “I’ve the best, biggest boobs in the whole world, Mr. Bond” just before before they flop on London causing utter devestation and panic.
Emily Ratajkowski got topless for Jonathan Leder (egotastic.com).
“The controversial couple are going their separate ways after a controversial two-and-a-half year marriage, sources have told MailOnline.”
The Daily Mail continues that it was her Celebrity Big Brother appearance in the UK that spelt the beginning of the end:
“Producers didn’t want the actor on the programme and Courtney was given time in the spotlight without her other half.”
Proving the “acting tution” he gave her online that started their relationship (opposingviews.com) got him exactly where it does for anyone that takes an online cam relationship seriously.
“The birth, life, death and resurrection of Christ will be described in the musical with the help of Britney hits such as Baby One More Time, Ooops! I Did It Again, Stronger and Crazy.”
Also featuring “How I Roll” when Jesus is driven out of Nazareth, “Piece Of Me” when he loses his cool with the money changers at the temple, “(I got you on my) Radar” by Pontius Pilate, concluding with the delivering of revelation to John with “Till The World Ends”.
Britney’s biblical wrath is also being put to good use in the modern world:
Britney Spears songs used to scare off pirates in Somalia (metro.co.uk).
“Ms Owens, who regularly guides huge tankers through the waters, said the ship’s speakers can be aimed solely at the pirates so as not to disturb the crew.”
Indeed, getting a “Touch Of My Hand” blown along your RPG-7’s bell-end must be truely disturbing!
.:: Top column 2 ::.
Arts, culture, tech. & funnies
First, knocking one of from this week rather than last, being Guy Fawkes or Fireworks Night on 5th November—everyone’s favourite day to celebrate the execution of a scapegoated traitor!
This is how they do fireworks in Glasgow (mirror.co.uk).
So, apparently that’s how they do fireworks in Glasgow,
deluging delighting audiences.
Jane Austen biographer slammed “airbrushed” £10 note portraiture (theguardian.com).
“Jane Austen is the funniest writer to walk this planet, and she’s been made to look dim-witted…”
What I find disturbing about that is that her biographer assumes Austen has to look like she’s chewing a thistle to be considered a supreme social satirist, suggesting looks and intelligence are mutually exclusive. So there!
“…the Large Underground Xenon (LUX) experiment’s sensitivity makes it better at seeking out dark matter than any other detectors built for that purpose… [but] although the powerful dark matter detector has just completed its first run, LUX has not yet found conclusive evidence of the elusive substance.”
The new aether (wikipedia.org), why is all that theoretical dark energy and dark matter collectively assumed to constitute approximately 95% of the universe’s mass-energy so damned elusive? (motifake.com).
Yeah, rather like being on Twitter I guess.
“While studying the X-ray data collected by the European Space Agency’s XMM-Newton spacecraft, the team came across a spike they couldn’t identify. This signal, which came from the Andromeda galaxy and the Perseus galaxy cluster, matched no other signal scientists have observed before.”
Could it be the elusive dark matter? To be honest, if I could not see it I’d be more suspicious of that murky matter that must have been on the bottom of someone’s shoe that walked in. For sure, some are confident it is not (medium.com).
“Not a chance. What we’ve found may be a mystery, but it’s definitely not our Universe’s missing mass.”
Okay, com’on now, everyone check the soles of their shoes while I get the mop.
“Police in San Diego, California initially pulled her over for speeding but issued a further fine for wearing Google Glass when in control of a vehicle.”
No donkeys were harmed thankfully (Pick of the Week 22nd January).
“Say, ‘OK Glass, keep me awake,’ and if your head dips below a certain angle for too long, the conductive bone speaker sounds an alarm. If it happens a few times too often, DriveSafe can tap into the navigation app to provide directions to the nearest rest area.”
If you are pursing your lips wondering WTFs the “conductive bone speaker” and do they have to drill a hole in my skull to fit it, it’s what Glass uses to relay sound through a transducer that sits beside the ear that is inaudible to others in the way a hearing aid does. As said, “DriveSafe isn’t integrated with the MyGlass control app yet, so Explorers need to side-load the app onto their headsets to give it a spin” giving any waiting CHiPs another chance to be first to nab a driver under the influence of Glass, DriveSafely-awake or not.
“The San Diego traffic court threw out a citation against Cecilia Abadie, with commissioner John Blair ruling she was not guilty because the offence for which was ticketed requires proof that the device was in use.”
Norwegian makes half a million from forgotten bitcoins (uk.msn.com).
“After struggling to remember his password, he logged in to his online account to see the huge rise in the value of bitcoins meant [his £17 worth of the online currency was now worth] the equivalent of £551,000….”
“After a roller-coaster year, [the value of the untraceable digital currency is] now up by more than ten-fold, leaving many making comparisons with past manias like Dutch tulip fever.”
Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.
Have a story for Pick of the Month?
If we are in touch I’d be very grateful if you’d send it along.
Page: prev. | 1 | next