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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

17th December 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last week’s best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and she likely woke up the whole street when those tree lights were turned on!

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Last week’s best stories & pics

Who lent a festive hand to Jingle Balls?

Selena Gomez KISS FM Jingle Ball, Seattle

Selena Gomez Jingled Balls for KISS FM’s in Seattle

Selena Gomez Z100 Jingle Ball, New York

And for Z100 in New York

Ariana Grande Z100 Jingle Ball, New York

As did Ariana Grande (hotcelebshome.com)…

Ariana Grande KDWB Jingle Ball, Minnesota

And for KDWB in Minnesota

Miley Cyrus KDWB Jingle Ball, Minnesota

As did Miley Cyrus (hawtcelebs.com)…

Miley Cyrus Power 96.1 Jingle Ball, Atlanta

And for Power 96.1 in Atlanta.

Pixie Lott Power Key 103 Jingle Ball, Manchester

And for us Brits, Pixie Lott jingled balls and Keys in Manchester (hotcelebshome.com).

Special Crimbo Offer

Lindsay Lohan Power Key 103 Jingle Ball, Manchester

Lindsay Lohan turned up in leather shorts and thigh boots at Z100 in New York too, causing some to spurt that she may be restarting her short-lived music career, but rather she was pocket-jingling a “same old chic” tell-all autobiography (independent.co.uk).

Here’s the piccies (hawtcelebs.com).

But watch out where she sticks that holly!

Barron Hilton posted a picture of his injuries

Did LiLo “masterminded” assault on Paris’s younger brother Barron Hilton at Miami hotel (dailymail.co.uk).

“It has been claimed that Barron was allegedly overheard talking about Lindsay behind her back, prompting the Mean Girls actress and her friends to retaliate.”

Mastermind? Yikes! The Mail’s headline seemed to be making her out to be some fiendish female ginger Fu Manchu, but I suspect it was simply the same sort of thing you see outside any Basildon nightclub on a Friday night.

Who festively Jingled Balls best for you?
Selena Gomez 30%
Ariana Grande 20%
Miley Cyrus 15%
Demi Lovato 13%
Avril Lavigne 13%
Pixie Lott 7%
Lindsay Lohan 2%

This poll has now been archived.

Note: It’s possible, indeed likely, there will be more Jingle Balling this week so you may wish to hold on to your vote if you expect a particular favourite to partake.

Recent/related stories:

Taylor Swift & Ke$ha jingled some festive balls (Pick of the Week, 10th December 2012)
Helen Flanagan, fur free under the Xmas tree for PETA

Helen Flanagan got into the festive spirit by keeping it fur free under the Xmas tree for PETA (celebrity.uk.msn.com)…

Helen Flanagan, Nuts Xmas issue

And stripped off decorating her tree and blew a trumpet for Nuts’ Xmas tissue issue (imgcelebs.info).

Recent/related stories:

Is Helen Flanagan to be the next Bond girl? (Pick of the Week, 7th November)
Lady Gaga, naked, bound and hanging upside down for Robert Wilson Performance Art

Lady Gaga was naked, bound and hanging upside down for art’s sake (wallpaper.com).

Here’s the pics (imgcelebs.info).

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga got transversal, showed her bush for Candy (Pick of the Week, 8th December)
Lady Gaga and Jeff Koons logomark on USA Today (Pick of the Week, 22nd November)
Kim Kardashian, US Weekly

Kim Kardashian showed US Weekly her body (and Photoshop) has re-absorbed all her baby gave her (hotcelebshome.com).

Recent/related stories:

Britney Spears, Perfume music video

Britney Spears “Perfumed” her bra and panties (egotastic.com).

Britney Spears “Perfume” music video (uploaded.net, 180MB | 04:24 | 1920x1080 | MKV | Preview image).

Info: What is… .MKV file extension.

Please note: file has not been uploaded by me, nor do I take responsibility for it. I’m just saving you a search.

Recent/related stories:

Courtney Stodden struggled to contain her beach balls

Courtney Stodden struggled to contain her bowling beach balls (egotastic.com).

Recent/related stories:

Elizabeth Jagger, Sasha Eisenman photoshoot

Elizabeth Jagger was itty bitty tittie topless for Sasha Eisenman (imgcelebs.info).

Info: Elizabeth Jagger (wikipedia.org).
Toni Garrn wet see-thru candids, St. Barts

German model Toni Garrn gave wet see-thru boobage in St. Barts (hotcelebshome.com).

Info: Toni Garrn (wikipedia.org).

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Pixie Lott XXXmas
P is for Pixie… and for Pussy. Ho Ho Ho!
Miley Cyrus support for Free the Nipple campaign

Miley Cyrus popped hers out for Free the Nipple campaign (huffingtonpost.com).

Miley Cyrus Free the Nipple campaign on Twitter
Miley giving a sadly censored nipple freeing flash on Twitter.
“The campaign was started by activists ‘appalled by [the] American media’s glorification of violence and repression of nudity,’ and it aims to ‘decriminalize the female body’ and ‘protest the backwards censorship laws in the US,’ according to its Facebook page. ”

A most worthy cause I say! #FreeTheNipple

Recent/related stories:

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Milan sexy toy Christmas tree

Sex-toy XXXmas tree turned off Milan city officials (nydailynews.com).

“An Italian sex shop’s ‘tree of pleasure’ adorned with vibrators violated the ‘holiday … spirit’. But shop owner Norma Rossetti says she just wanted to help people see the toys as ‘completely normal everyday objects.’”

I’ve yet to see those toys being pumped relentlessly on TV like the others!

Redtube

Redtube denied allegations it handed over IP addresses to anti-piracy German law firm (avn.com).

“German news media has reported that the law firm is trying to extract payments of 1000 Euros in the letters sent to Redtube users….”

It is common knowledge now (or should be) that these letters are scams for which several of the law firms engaging in them have had their butts slapped, but it does remind that many porn tubes sites have been—and many still are—rather unscrupulous with the copyright of content they stream.

Recent/related stories:

Microsoft emotional eating smart bra

Microsoft designed a smart bra to combat emotional eating (wired.co.uk).

“Microsoft researchers have developed a bra-mounted sensor system that measures boob sweat and heart activity in order to detect emotional triggers for overeating.”

Before anyone starts tutting they should perhaps consider if there would or should be a market for a similar smart string vest for any chaps a getting a lil’ bulbous in the belly feasting on comfort Doritos, or do they just make do with a double-standards belly band?

Recent/related stories:

Hairbrained ideas: Tech’s most ridiculous gadgets (Pick of the Week, 29th November)
US company defended its cockroach backpack app (Pick of the Week, 22nd November)
Oleoylsarcosine by Damien Hirst

Two Damien Hirst spot paintings snatched from Exhibitionist Gallery (news.sky.com).

“ Police say a suspect forced open the front doors of the gallery and drove the items away in a dark-coloured hatchback-type vehicle towards Ladbroke Grove. The stolen pieces feature the artist’s recognisable multi-coloured dots and are signed.”

Just a chancer, a disgrunted Blue Peter fan or organised crime to counterbalance a couple of kilos of Charlie? (Pick of the Week 29th Nov.)

You can catch CCTV footage of the theft here (video.uk.msn.com).

Recent/related stories:

Criminal gangs targeting high-value works of art in UK (Pick of the Week, 29th November)
Doom by id Software

Doom’s creator John Carmack looked back on 20 years of demonic mayhem (wired.co.uk).

“At the stroke of midnight on 10 December 1993, an executive at id Software uploaded a file to an FTP site on the University of Washington’s network. The filename was doom1_0.zip. Thus did one of the great revolutions in the world of gaming begin….”

Recent/related stories:

BT’s default filter settings now (tries to) block porn for new internet customers

BT’s default filter settings now (tries to) block porn for new internet customers (pocket-lint.com).

“New customers to BT’s internet services will have adult content filtering turned on by default, meaning they won’t be able to connect to any site focusing on adult themes unless they purposely decide against implementing Parental Controls when they first set up their internet connection.”

Recent/related stories:

Porn websites viewed regularly inside UK parliament (Pick of the Week, 5th September)
Google chairman Eric Schmidt has been critical of the NSA and GCHQ’s activities

Latest Snowden leak suggested GCHQ and NSA track with Google cookies (bbc.co.uk).

“Google’s position is we are outraged on this,” [Eric Schmidt] said in reference to claims that the NSA and GCHQ had taken data from communication links used by his firm.

That be Eric Schmidt expressing shock that someone else is spying on their spying that be.

Recent/related stories:

NSA planned to discredit radicals over web-porn use (Pick of the Week, 8th December)

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

Have a story for Pick of the Month?

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Tags: Ariana Grande, Britney Spears, Courtney Stodden, Elizabeth Jagger, Helen Flanagan, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Pixie Lott, Selena Gomez, Toni Garrn.

Disclaimer:

Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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