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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

14th January 2014

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and argument from analogy studying those finally put the Flat Earth Society out of business for good. Gone!

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Last week’s best stories & pics

Tila Tequila, Backdoored and Squirting

Welcome back! Tila Tequila got backdoored and squirted for her Vivid sex tape (

And let loose she sure does!

Recent/related stories:

Kim Kardashian, Kendall Jenner butt selfie

Kendall Jenner barged in on Kim Kardashian’s booty selfie with her own (

“The pin-thin 5ft 10in model attempted to copy Kim’s pose by sticking her little behind out in a provocative manner.”

Working itself up in a sweat, the Mail remarked on their “toned abs teamed with tight leggings and trainers” before that particular treadmill had its own splotched broken white center stripe to follow.

Kim Kardashian, Blac Chyna butt selfie

Earlier in the week, Kim and big-booty pal Blac Chyna had also displayed a joint bottom selfie on Instagram, a shot of the back-door which had come in for some rapping: Did Kim Kardashian Photoshop her butt selfie? Yes, she probably did (

“‘Photoshop! Look at the floor tiles and the curve on the door frame,’ wrote piola100. ‘Unless Home Depot sells bowed doors now, that’s a bad photoshop job,’ said oneatom12.”

Quite, but then again I’ve purchased from B&Q, and they most certainly do.

Kim Kardashian, Plaza Towers Los Angeles

Here’s Kim giving boob and big booty galore at Plaza Towers in Los Angeles (

Recent/related stories:

Britney Spears, People’s Choice Awards

Britney Spears was made to clutch a phallic-looking awards thingy for People’s Choice before being sent back to Vegas (

Recent/related stories:

Britney Spears “Perfumed” her bra and panties (Pick of the Week, 17th December 2013)
Xtina and Emma Watson 2013 People’s Choice (Pick of the Week, 14th January 2013)
Vanessa Hudgens, Bongo spring collection

Vanessa Hudgens gave tongue and a lot of sexy thigh too for Bongo’s spring collection (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Vanessa Hudgens was angelic for Halloween (Pick of the Week, 31st October 2013)
Emma Watson bikini candids in the Caribbean

Emma Watson gave rare bikini candids in the Caribbean (

Updated 5th July 2015.

Link changed.

Recent/related stories:

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan’s new reality show got a premiere date (

“The ‘documentary series’ … follows LiLo on her ‘journey through recovery following a very public period of crisis,’ the official press release says.”

Having pretty much snubbed her families Living Lohan reality show all those years back I’m hoping there’s a wide clause in that contract Hef didn’t get for Playboy in that promise that LiLo will “open [it] up as never before”.

Lindsay Lohan, Fashion Achievement Awards in Shanghai

Here’s LiLo at the Fashion Achievement Awards in Shanghai (

Recent/related stories:

LiLo did side boob for something (Pick of the Week, 29th November 2013)
Kimberley Garner, petrol station candids in London

Kimberley Garner’s pose sure got things pumping (

Recent/related stories:

Kimberley Garner gave bikini bottom hotness in St. Tropez (Pick of the Week, 2nd October 2013)
Kimberley Garner gave sideboob at We’re the Millers (Pick of the Week, 19th August 2013)
Jennifer Nicole Lee

Oops! Jennifer Nicole Lee’s came undone at beach play time in Miami (

Recent/related stories:

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Samsung bendable TV screen

Bendable TV screens, fitness tracker smartwatches, and kitchen appliances you can text with—what mattered at CES 2014 (

Razer Project Christine

And ever think your desktop PC design should be more… modular? PC gaming company Razer does.

“…the design is incredibly cool to behold: a central rack holds plug-in parts that sprout from the sides, building a tower in any combination. It looks simultaneously far-futuristic and a bit steampunk.”

Recent/related stories:

Hairbrained ideas: tech’s most ridiculous gadgets (Pick of the Week, 29th November 2013)
Google will build a self-driving car (Pick of the Week, 27th August 2013)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Britney Spears—The Vegas Years: Hooked a Piece of Me
Britney Spears—The Vegas Years: Hooked a Piece of Me
Cindy Crawford, Pirelli calendar

Celebrating “the Cal”—50 years of Pirelli calendars (

Cindy Crawford, Helena Christensen, Karlie Kloss, Adriana Lima, J.Lo, the list is testament of enigmatic beauties for five decades and the celebration sees the release of the previously unpublished 1986 edition by Helmut Newton.

Recent/related stories:

Vibrator underwear unveiled

Vibrator underwear unveiled at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas set to spice up relationships (

“Designed by a New Hampshire couple, the latest addition to sex-tech is a BlueMotion massager that strategically fits into a pair of lacy panties. Using a remote smartphone app, a partner can control the intensity of the vibrations felt by the opposite party.”

Recent/related stories:

Sex-toy XXXmas tree turned off Milan city officials (Pick of the Week, 17th December 2013)
Give in to the Dark Side with your very own guybrator (Pick of the Week, 22nd November 2013)
Durex Fundawear lets couples “touch” online (Pick of the Week, 23rd April 2013)
British MP portraits slammed as “vanity projects”

British MP portraits costing taxpayers £250,000 slammed as “vanity projects” (

“Regularly splashing out four-or five-figure sums for these portraits has the whiff of an expensive vanity project, for which unwitting taxpayers are footing the bill.”

I’m sure there are a few ATOS subjected artists who’d do a charming one of Work and Pensions secretary Iain “I can live on a tenner a week” Duncan Smith for gratis.

Updated 4th January 2015.
David Cameron, the finger pose
“Former PMs Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair both made the time to sit for a portrait during their time in office; but like his former rival Gordon Brown, Mr Cameron seems reluctant to set time aside for an artist to capture his likeness.”

It could be he is erring on the side of austerity but, for sure, I bet if word is UKIP’s Nigel “make sure it captures my beer smile” Farage is to have one done Flashman would be sitting this evening for his. Perhaps he has just not found the right artist yet to give his finger the likeness.

Updated 17th January 2014.
Diane Abbott by Stuart Pearson Wright
“It’s about leaving a legacy for history and documenting the times we live in. You never know what that legacy will be, but you do your best to capture it.”

No word on if any pubes were used by Stuart Pearson Wright—“whose other works include images of the singer Tom Jones in oil, gold, wax and pubic hair on canvas”—for the portrait of Diane Abbott, but one was strategically placed on William Hague’s cue-ball by Jonathan Yeo.

Recent/related stories:

Porn websites viewed regularly inside UK parliament (Pick of the Week, 5th September 2013)
Tory planning minister Nick Boles

Tory planning minister Nick Boles says adults shouldn’t be lectured about private enjoyment of porn (

“‘As a Conservative, my starting point is that people should be free to live their lives as they choose,’ he said. ‘And I am not going to start lecturing consenting adults about their private enjoyment of legal pornography.’”

Hear, hear! This comes of course in the wake of PM David Cameron’s plans to block certain internet searches which anti-censorship groups warn is coming dangerously close to restricting freedom of speech. Kate Maltby, who sits on the board of the modernising Tory think tank, Bright Blue, argues David Cameron ought to take note: What I learned at Yale Sex Week is that porn never goes away when it’s banned, Dave.

Porn, of all kinds, never goes away when it’s banned, writes Kate Maltby
“Censors which stigmatise one type of pornography as ‘bad’ implicitly elevate the alternative, ‘acceptable’ porn.”

She’s certainly no fan despite her defence, and her warning could be as much directed at Nick as much as Dave.

While I agree with that which Kate highlights—that “normal” pornography, alas, all too often conveys images of passive femininity in rather demeaning ways—her logic to keep the censors foot out the door to permit “feminist attempts to reclaim or experiment with centuries-old erotic traditions” which, invariably in her apprasal seem to involve much S&Migry, could be interpreted by some as the pot calling the kettle black if passive pat-on-the-head good-girl doing bad-things femininity is looked disparagingly down on while obviously that’s what some chaps look to get off on, and are as justified to do so with her logic as those with the hots for all things 50 Shades of.

Where she hits the nail expressly on its engorged head is where she identifies that sex and power are regrettably all too often linked by some, and that, I fear, is an issue that won’t just go away with porn, but again, to follow Kate’s lead while playing devil’s advocate, is to label that “bad” and implicitly elevate the “acceptable” to endanger those “experiment’s with centuries-old erotic traditions” of which she speaks?

Recent/related stories:

Porn websites viewed regularly inside UK parliament (Pick of the Week, 5th September 2013)

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Tags: Britney Spears, Emma Watson, Jennifer Nicole Lee, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Kimberley Garner, Lindsay Lohan, Tila Tequila, Vanessa Hudgens.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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