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Latina pick of the week

Latina Pick of the Week

7th February 2014

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Here’s my pick of the best sexy latina entertainment stories and pictures from the last seven days or so. So if you are a fan of Brazilian booty, Mexican tetas, Chicano chocha & everything else that is latina lovely, dip in!

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and was not hiding, merely looking for something sufficiently intimidating to wear (

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Last week’s best stories & pics

Updated 13th February 2014.
Fernanda Marin, 138 water

Brazilian model and TV show hostess Fernanda Marin got a soaking for 138 water (

Recent/related stories:

Carmen Ortega pops more bottle tops with another shoot for 138 Water (Latina Pick of the Week, 7th November 2013)
Fernanda Marin se molhou for 138 Water (Latina Pick of the Week, 25th September 2013)
Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez holed up for a short stay in rehab—too much partying or Justin Bieber? (

“Sources close to Gomez tell us … people in Selena’s camp went ballistic when they found out she was hanging out again with Justin … and saw photos of her joyriding with him on Segways. We’re told that was the final straw—she checked into rehab immediately after that.”
Selena Gomez Segway rollin’ with Justin Bieber

Indeed, the “self-balancing” microprocessor gyroscopic brain of those Segways ( doesn’t quite convince me rolling up Chadwell Hill wouldn’t leave me flat on my arse and I certainly would not want SelGo to take a tumble—although I’m sure many would gladly offer to kiss any sore bits better.

Of course, the “combination of problems, including alcohol, pot and prescription Ambien” claims offered by “sources” to TMZ (meaning that chap who raids Britney Spears’ wheelie bin for evidence of KFC feasting) goes against what Selena’s reps say, which is:

“Selena voluntarily spent time at Meadows but not for substance abuse.” (

Which sounds like those sicknotes my mum used to write me for when a hangover made it rather irksome to attend school, or a line for Spring Breakers with SelGo’s role as conscientious Faith which got left out. Just as vague but perhaps more earnest, insiders (in her wheelie bin) say “her parents Ricardo and Amanda bundled her off to get cleaned up on January 5 amid fears a spate of partying was about to sink their daughter.”

Well good on them and her management for keeping a lid on it. It’s excused for elder entertainment statesmen to get whacked out and spew the Press much Tiger’s Blood—hell, they even get a roadshow with a burgeoning bandwagon following to do it on—but for the younger chaps and chapesses, over-partying excess is guaranteed to bring forth much vitriol from 40-plus-year-olds on Twitter conveniently forgetting they did the same back in the day albeit not as a young—perhaps intoxicated—splinter in the public eye.

Selena Gomez, leggy out and about candids in Los Angeles

Here’s Selena giving leggy out and about candids in Los Angeles (

Recent/related stories:

Selena Gomez gave out and about no bra pokage candids (Pick of the Week, 5th February)
Alessandra Ambrosio, Victoria’s Secret candids

Alessandra Ambrosio gave bikini playtime for Victoria’s Secret (

Recent/related stories:

Alessandra Ambrosio gave quente louco bikini candids (Latina Pick of the Week, 18th December 2013)
Alessandra Ambrosio gave boa de bunda bikini candids in Malibu (Latina Pick of the Week, 11th September 2013)
Secrets of South America: Episode 1. Extreme Beauty Queens

Secrets of South America: Episode 1. Extreme Beauty Queens (iPlayer,

“Billie JD Porter goes inside the Miss Venezuela boot camp … [and] discovers that it’s a gruelling marathon of posing and pouting for the ultimate prize which will change their lives. To succeed, the girls must impress Venezuela’s king of beauty, Osmel Sousa, who is a ruthless perfectionist. Billie also explores why this country seems so obsessed with beauty when some of its people are still struggling with violence and poverty, as part of her thee-part journey across South America in World Cup year.”

You can catch the second episode, unlock the secrets surrounding one of Argentina’s biggest passions—sex, in Latina Pick of the Week 13th February.

Info: Can I use BBC iPlayer outside the UK? (

Recent/related stories:

Dai Macedo crowned Miss BumBum Brazil 2013 (Latina Pick of the Week, 23rd November 2013)

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Alessandra Ambrosio, Fernanda Marin, Selena Gomez.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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