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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

26th February 2014

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and is likey going to shout that at everyone I know this week.

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Nicole Richie, Britney Spears Vegas: Nicole was more than happy to get on all fours in front of the crowd

Nicole Richie got leashed and walked on all fours on the Vegas stage by Britney Spears… apparently it’s her dream, bitch (

“The 32-year-old was more than happy to get on all fours and be walked around like a chained animal much to the delight of Britney and the crowd.”

As you like!

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus kissing Katy Perry during her LA concert

Miley Cyrus snogged Katy Perry during her LA concert (

“To the delight of thousands of fans, the Wrecking Ball singer planted a kiss on Katy Perry during her Bangerz Tour concert in Los Angeles.”

It would have delighted thousands more that exceedingly long snaky tongue had lolled out and up Katy’s skirt.

Miley Cyrus Bangerz Tour performance in Los Angeles

Here’s Miley’s Bangerz tour performance in Los Angeles (…

Katy Perry, 2014 Brit Awards in London

And Katy performing “Dark Horse” at the 2014 Brit Awards in London (

Updated 1st July 2015.

Link dead. Apologies.

Updated 9th March 2014.
Katy Perry
“I just walked up to her to give her like a friendly girly kiss, you know, as girls do, and then she like tried to move her head and go deeper and I pulled away. God knows where that tongue has been. We don’t know! That tongue is so infamous!”

Miley countered with a tweet suggesting she knew exactly where Katy’s “ex boo” John Mayer’s had been.

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus kicked off her Bangerz tour in Vancouver (Pick of the Week, 19th February)
Pixie Lott attending the Brit Awards afterparty

Pixie Lott gave sideboob and… gapboob attending Brit Awards afterparty (celebrityoopsdigest


Recent/related stories:

Pixie Lott jingled balls and Keys in Manchester (Pick of the Week, 17th December 2013)
Pixie Lott flashed her knickers at Radio Live Birmingham (Pick of the Week, 8th December 2013)
Poppy Delevingne oops upskirt

Oops! British model and socialite Poppy Delevingne—sister of Cara—gave a bush-baring vehicular escaping upskirt! (

Recent/related stories:

Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne and are indeed dating (Latina Pick of the Week, 20th February)
Cara Delevingne gave blue tongue for Love (Pick of the Week, 5th February)
Rita Ora upskirt, Milan Fashion Week Moschino afterparty

Did Rita Ora’s upskirt show her bush at Milan Fashion Week Moschino afterparty? (

“The photos got blown out a bit being up so close, but I can’t help but feeling we’re seeing Ora patch.”
Rita Ora, Milan Fashion Week Moschino afterparty

Regretably, I think we are just seeing some swell black lacy panties, but she did give some tongue! (celebritytonguedigest

Rita Ora performing at Philipp Plein Fashion Show in Milan

Here’s Rita stripping to her bra performing at Philipp Plein Fashion Show in Milan (

Recent/related stories:

Rita Ora gave Pillow Tweets for W (Pick of the Week, 12th February)
Kendall Jenner tight leggings

Kendall Jenner flashed tight legging-clad ass and camel toe out walking the pooch (

Certainly provoked some provocative comments this week on the message board—as did NessaLvr’s oops Kendall video contribution on his!

Recent/related stories:

Kendall Jenner gave a topless Pillow Tweet for W (Pick of the Week, 12th February)
Kendall Jenner was leggy in hotpants in Los Angeles (Pick of the Week, 22nd January)
Lady Gaga stepping out in a fishnet bodysuit in New York

Lady Gaga stepped out in a fishnet bodysuit in New York (

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga was nude behind a boombox for Harpers Bazaar (Pick of the Week, 19th February)
Selena Gomez on a night out in Mayfair, London

Selena Gomez flaunted hot pins in tiny hotpants on a night out in Mayfair, London (

Recent/related stories:

Selena Gomez gave bare-midriff (Pick of the Week, 12th February)
Oops! Kimberley Garner flashed her ass in London

Oops! Kimberley Garner flashed her ass in London (

Kimberley Garner attending the Cocktails With Monroe exhibition event
Updated 10th June 2014.
Oh! She slipped a tittie too (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Kimberley Garner’s pose sure got things pumping (Pick of the Week, 14th January)
Kimberley Garner gave bikini bottom hotness in St. Tropez (Pick of the Week, 2nd October 2013)
Kate Upton, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 50th anniversary issue

Kate Upton’s boobs got a taste of zero G for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 50th anniversary issue (…

Nina Agdal, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 50th anniversary issue

And Nina Agdal gave see-thru bathing suit tittie!

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal got a tittie out for the Editorialist (Pick of the Week, 19th February)
Kate Upton pictured back on a horse in Malibu candids (Pick of the Week, 8th December 2013)
Jennifer Nicole Lee bathing suit oops

MILFtastic fitness guru Jennifer Nicole Lee was still falling out her bathing suit (

Recent/related stories:

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

The Truth about Webcam Girls, BBC iPlayer

BBC iPlayer took an unflinching look at the reality of what it takes to be a webcam girl in The Truth about Webcam Girls (

“Documentary looking into the secretive world of adult webcamming. Three online performers explain what it’s really like baring all, online, for strangers all over the world.”

Camming while cooking, guys who pay to watch girls play Xbox in their undies, your mum as your manager and the real inconvienence of late calling estate agents. A gritty perspective to be sure but informative from the view of the ex-porn performer who asserts how webcamming gives her more control of what she does.

Info: Can I use BBC iPlayer outside the UK? (

Recent/related stories:

Secrets of South America: Episode 2. Generation Sex (Latina Pick of the Week, 13th February)
World’s thinnest condom

Hong Kong funded brand awarded Guinness World Record for the world’s thinnest condom (

“China’s Guangzhou Daming United Rubber Products has won the Guinness World Record for the thinnest latex condom. It’s just .036mm thick….”

Lets hope the bar for AQL (Acceptable Quality Level) is raised on that one! Despite the latex wafer thinness, street vox pop ( there seems to highlight the incessant unpopularity of condoms worldwide, which seems evident so-far in the “Should condom use be mandatory in porn?” poll.

Recent/related stories:

Ai Weiwei vase worth $1m broken in local artist protest

Ai Weiwei vase worth $1m broken in local artist protest (

“Police say Mr Caminero told them he broke the art work in protest at the Perez Art Museum Miami’s failure to exhibit work by local artists.”

Speaking to the Miami Herald, Mr. Caminero said “I have not the right to break his piece”. I guess he just got carried a-wei.

I love the way that those $1m vases were just left on a low plinth like that waiting for someone to take an expensive tumble.

Recent/related stories:

Zumba dance class

UK Minister for sport Helen Grant suggests women should be offered more feminine sports (

“The way to get more British women into sport and close the gender gap is to offer more ‘feminine’ sports like cheerleading and zumba.”
Zumba Fitness Flat Abs Workout

Definitely Zumba ( Yep, you can see what is appealing to the feminine in that class.

Recent/related stories:

Vaginal weightlifting is Kung Fu for the fanny! (Pick of the Week, 12th February)
Most dangerous sport for women? It’s cheerleading! (Pick of the Week, 24th September 2013)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Britney Spears—The Vegas Years: Hooked a Piece of Me
Britney Spears’ Vegas residency: titanic seraphic wings, lightsaber fan dances, swinging in from toxic grottos and walking celebs around on all fours on a leash. Whatever next?
Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán captured

Mexican drug lord and world’s most wanted man Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán captured (

“The head of Mexico’s Sinaloa Cartel was captured overnight by U.S. and Mexican authorities at a hotel in Mazatlan, Mexico, before being presented to the media as he was escorted onto a waiting helicopter en route to a secure facility.”

Laundry carts leaving the “secure facility”—in which El Chapo (“Shorty”) made his escape last time—will be prodded with bayonets for the indefinite future.

Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán following his capture

Lots of back-patting in the Peña Nieto administration, but were events related to speculation aired a few weeks back: Could Chapo Guzmán be making a move against his Sinaloa Cartel partner? (

“The death, imprisonment and targeting of several members of Ismael ‘El Mayo’ Zambada’s faction of the Sinaloa Cartel points to a disturbing possibility for Mexico’s underworld: Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzmán may be making a play for his partner’s territory.”

Hmmm. There’s a lot of speculation going about as to who ratted who, but it’s as likely as anything an apprehended bodyguard gave them the final tip. Does it mean the end for the Sinaloa? Who will take over? Who is El Mayo?: Meet “El Mayo”: the likely new chief of the Sinaloa Cartel (

Ismael Zambada, aka “El Mayo”
“El Mayo’s standing within the group means that El Chapo’s capture is not much of a blow for the Sinaloa cartel.”

El Mayo (“the May”), Guzmán’s number two in the feared Cartel de Sinoloa, has always opted for a lower profile than the flamboyant legend that embraced Guzmán, and if we are not to dismiss the unremitting corruption in Mexican politics and policing coming hot on the tail of allegations that the US DEA struck a deal with the Sinaloa cartel that helped their rise (, Jan. 2014) that may currently suit some.

Updated 12th July 2015.

“The kingpin was last spotted by security cameras in the shower area of the Altiplano prison, 90 kilometers (55 miles) west of the capital, on Saturday night before disappearing, the National Security Commission said.

“An alarm was issued after ‘he was not visible’ for a while and ‘the escape of Guzman was confirmed,’ the commission said in a statement.”

Indeed, someone perhaps thought he was just in there for “protective custody” until feuds and political wind died down. Was it a laundry cart this time and did they just not notice his RENNTech SLR—a cop car clone—or armoured Jetta (, Feb. 2014) conveniently waiting in the prison car park?

El Chapo escapes again

El Chapo’s 2nd escape could paralyze Mexico’s national security plans (

“Peña Nieto’s administration has captured nearly every big capo that his predecessor, Felipe Calderon, did not, including two top Zetas leaders, the head of the Betran Leyva Organization, the leader of the Juarez Cartel and the two leaders of the Knights Templar, among many others. These captures were, up until El Chapo’s escape, a powerful testament that something was going right.”

And “going right” enough for a return after all those rivals against which the Sinaloa—with widely reported allegations of collusion with Mexican federal government forces (, May, 2010)— had found them self hard pressed are now splintered enough for a return to a more quiet, low-key approach to business, and non-tax-deductable bribery? Perhaps the Chapo may testify (, Sept. 2014) card played had a few more than those officially in the Sinaloa Cartel perturbed.

Updated 15th July 2015.

El Chapo

Mexican skepticism regarding the official story of El Chapo’s tunnel escape.

Chapo’s tunnel leads straight to Mexico narco-conspiracy hell (

“Logic plays only a small role in these theories. What, exactly, anyone would gain by making up this tunnel story—and going through the trouble of literally constructing the ruse—is not clear. The tunnel story is embarassing enough, and is perhaps even for mortifying for the Mexican government than if Chapo had walked out the prison’s front door. ”

Updated 15th July 2015.

Drug lord El Chapo’s escape caught on CCTV (

Drug lord El Chapo’s escape caught on CCTV
“CCTV pictures of the moment notorious drug lord Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzman escaped from his prison cell have been released by Mexican authorities. The security camera footage shows him walking to his bed where he sits and appears to change his shoes. He then walks to the shower and toilet area and just disappears.”

It also gives a peek at that snazzy motorcycle on rails he scooted off down the tunnel on.

El Chapo’s motorcycle on rails

Chapo’s escape promises renewed expansion from Sinaloa Cartel (

“Unlike the last few years prior to Guzman’s arrest, the Sinaloa Cartel does not have any adversaries of comparable power. Its foremost rivals—the Zetas, the Gulf Cartel, the Juarez Cartel, the Beltran Leyva Organization, and the Knights Templar—have been even more buffeted by government pressure than has Sinaloa. … Logic suggests that this is the perfect time for Guzman to rebuild his group’s hegemony, and swoop into areas where it had previously lost influence. Guzman may see opportunities to once more attempt a takeover of the northeastern corridor, which includes one of the nation’s most important border crossings in Laredo, with only weakened and warring factions of the Gulf Cartel and the Zetas left to oppose him.”

Could it have been “a plate shifting jolt to the nation’s organized crime landscape” if, hard pressed, he had not been taken out of the picture for a while? One may wonder how calmly El Mayo, who rose to take over during El Chapo’s incarceration, is taking things, and further wonder why—with the supposed rivalry—if he is.

Updated 13th July 2015.

Oh, it was a tunnel, like those he had used to evade capture and those used for smuggling and trips to SeaWorld… but with a motorbike!

“[Mexico’s National Security Commissioner] Monte Alejandro Rubido did not comment on why authorities had apparently failed to notice a [mile-long] long tunnel being built under the prison.”
Crime scene tape is placed around another hole near the house he is thought to have escaped into
Updated 4th August 2014.
“The news that El Chapo may testify against a key member of his own cartel is likely to be met with concern by other Sinaloa leaders, and particularly any who may have fallen out of his good graces.”
Updated 4th August 2014.

Updated 16th April 2014.
Manuel Alejandro Aponte Gomez, aka “El Bravo”
“In his account to the judicial authorities, El Condor warned that it is possible that a confrontation between Bravo and Damaso Lopez Nunez, The Bachelor, who is identified as one of the candidates to succeed El Chapo….”

So it seems The Bachelor likely shopped El Chapo and those untrusted or unwilling to switch are being given the pale horse to ride off on. Is it over or are other factions going to the mattresses? (

Updated 4th April 2014.
Carlos Manuel Hoo Ramirez, aka “El Condor”
“Much of the violence surrounding the Sinaloa Cartel in recent years was linked to personal feuds cultivated by El Chapo himself, both with other organizations and within his own.”

Further adding to speculation that enough involved just decided it was time for him to go?

Updated 6th March 2014.
“Marchers chanted ‘Freedom!’ and ‘Chapo!’ as they walked the streets of Culiacan, the Sinaloa state capital, and carried signs opposing possible extradition of the drug lord to the U.S., something Mexican authorities have already said won’t happen soon.”
Dámaso López Núñez, aka “El Licenciado”

Recent/related stories:

World’s most fearsome female gangsters (Pick of the Week, 23rd April 2013)

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Britney Spears, Jennifer Nicole Lee, Kate Upton, Katy Perry, Kendall Jenner, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Nicole Richie, Pixie Lott, Poppy Delevingne, Rita Ora, Selena Gomez.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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