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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

15th April 2014

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and would like to remind Nessa it’s my birthday in July!

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Kim Kardashian thong bikini photoshoot in Thailand

Kim Kardashian’s huge badunkadunk gave a photoshoot in Thailand (celebrityoopsdigest…

Kendall Jenner, sweet buns in Thailand

Kendall Jenner’s badinkadink gave a final shot before the family vacation came to an end

Kendall Jenner camel toe and booty heading out of the gym in West Hollywood

And, back home from the family vacation, candid caboose and stretch pants camel toe leaving Andy LeCompte Salon in West Hollywood.

Recent/related stories:

Rihanna, bare ass photoshoot posing on a balcony in West Hollywood

Rihanna gave a bare ass and nipslipping balcony photoshoot in West Hollywood (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé, OUT magazine

Beyoncé got ’em OUT (…

Beyoncé, Photoshop thigh gap

But accused of Photoshopping thigh gap on Instagram (

“Beyonce’s fans are accusing her of not embracing her fuller figure by apparently Photoshopping a ‘thigh gap’ to make her legs look thinner….”

Oh dear—the blame for “not embracing her fuller figure” was put on an over-zealous retoucher last time shortly after Bey expressed her fury at H&M for airbrushing her curves (see related stories below).

Updated 7th October 2015.

Link updated.

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé, Chime For Change charity concert (Pick of the Week, 3rd June 2013)
Beyoncé’s fury at H&M airbrushing her curves (Pick of the Week, 23rd April 2013)
Kaili Thorne, Instagram sideboob

Actress and model Kaili Thorne, one of Bella’s older sisters, gave cooking sideboob on Instagram (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Dani Thorne gave tongue on Instagram (Pick of the Week, 23rd March)
Taylor Swift shopping with Cara Delevingne in New York

Taylor Swift went shopping with Cara Delevingne (

“With rumours of discord in the Swift household following her parents’ separation, the 24-year-old appeared a little sombre as she pounded the pavement solo at first, picking up a bag full of goodies at clothing store Theory in the trendy Meatpacking District before being joined by her new pal.”

Warned off from partying with Rihanna (Pick of the Week, 5th March), good girl Taylor is perhaps a safe bet for Michelle Rodriguez as a gal-pal for Cara, although one wonders if at some point scampish Cara lowered those bushy-brows intimating they may prehaps avoid meat altogether….

Taylor Swift, New York

Here’s Taylor out in jeans shorts (…

Cara Delevingne, Glamour Women of the Year awards after party April 2013

And a flashback feature of Cara showing what she has to offer with former “wifey” Rita Ora at the Glamour Women of the Year awards after party in April last year (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus, Elle behind the scenes

Miley Cyrus poked it out for Elle behind the scenes (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Sarah Hyland, Aerie and Filter Magazine annual Coachella kick-off party

Modern Family cutie Sarah Hyland gave dancing tongue at the Aerie and Filter Magazine annual Coachella kick-off party (celebritytonguedigest

Expect more from Coachella in next weeks picks (Pick of the Week, 21st Apr.)

Recent/related stories:

Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung on Instagram

Vanessa Hudgens gave birthday tongue to Jamie Chung on Instagram (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Vanessa Hudgens’ shorts were not fitting so well (Pick of the Week, 23rd March)
Vanessa Hudgens gave Pillow Tweets for W (Pick of the Week, 12th February)
Michael Bay, Megan Fox

Megan Fox concludes she always loved Michael Bay (

“The 27-year-old actress revealed she was more than happy to sign up for Michael’s new action-packed film, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.””

And Michael was chuffed to be having his Transformer car washed again.

Recent/related stories:

Megan Fox “The Sharper Image” photoshoot (Pick of the Week, 30th April 2013)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Taylor and Cara shopping
Who the hell let Taylor Swift go vegetable shopping with Cara Delevingne, knowing full well a break up song about that cucumber will be inevitable!

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Emma Watson unmasks to reveal Sofia Vergara

Who knew! Emma Watson unmasks to reveal Sofia Vergara (

“What if Emma Watson was really just Sofia Vergara in costume? What if the Colombian bombshell wanted to explore a different career route, one that would allow her to smash one box office after another with ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘The Bling Ring’ and ‘Noah’?”

She could have just K.O.ed Voldemort with a slap of her huge chichis.

Recent/related stories:

Riley Reed, “full-bush Brazilian”
© Riley Reed, Twitter.

The “full-bush Brazilian”: the bikini waxing trend that is “hippie at the front, porn star below” (

“The ‘full-bush Brazilian,’ as we agreed to call it, involves removing the hair from the labia and butt crack (in accordance with Brazilian-waxing tradition) while leaving everything on top fully grown.”

If you are wondering what that’ll look like, think porn star Riley Reed (Twitter) as, I admit, I often do.

“Who gets the full-bush Brazilian?” those gals ask in the article, “girls with hippie boyfriends, hippies with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking” they conclude.

The Brazilian, a shaved beaver, seems costume de rigueur in porn at least, but a partial or full bush is something of a fetish for many. Is the full-bush Brazilian the best of both?

Alas, as much as it may appeal, I can’t help but be reminded of that quintessential 80s style for the head, the mullet, which seemed to promise the same: business in the front, party at the back.

What does it for you, are you a fan of the bush or seek solace in a shaven haven?
Shaven and waxed for me, I like a smooth peach! 36%
Carriage down heading for that landing strip! 24%
I’m liking the sound of the full-bush Brazilian even if it might look like a mop top. 13%
I’d pull the ears of a Gundark for a full furred wookie wallet! 12%
I like a bit of bush, au naturel but not something that looks like a fishermans beard. 10%
Neatly trimmed for me and I hover around with an ashtray in case you dare spill any ash on the carpet too. 5%

This poll has now been archived.

Recent/related stories:

¡Hijole! 5 things you need to know about vagina facials! (Latina Pick of the Week, 9th January)
Female Presidential Guards recruits

Commandos in headscarves: Palestinian Presidential Guard unveils its first female special ops (

“Twenty-five Palestinian women are set to become the first female members of the Presidential Guards, a Palestinian elite force of 2,600 men.”

Recent/related stories:

Buddhist temple “anti-terrorist” squad

Stop or I’ll get tantric: Buddhist temple in China forms “anti-terrorist” squad (

“The unit at the Lingyin Temple in Hangzhou, the capital of Zhejiang Province, consists of 20 monks and 25 security officers donning protective gear and carrying shields, batons and pepper spray.”

Yeah, I don’t think the neighbouring Shaolin Temple needs an anti-terror squad either.

Recent/related stories:

Damien Hirst
Gangsta! Anything Miley can do I can do better.

Damien Hirst to tell all about “criminal past” in autobiography with Penguin (

“He (Hirst) grew up in a pretty bad situation with his mother, and he and his gang—many of whom became YBA artists—spent half their time housebreaking, stealing, [indulging in] criminality, and the rest of their time indulging their passion for art, which started very early on in their years.”

Well, with the decaying-partiality critics now express, roundly renoucing on any affection they may have once had for anything YBA, poor Damien needs to pull his Brit-popish renegadery out of that dead fish.

Recent/related stories:

End of the road for Windows XP

Windows XP reached the end of the road (

“THIS week sees the last batch of bug fixes and security patches that Microsoft will issue for Windows XP. After April 8th, computers using the 13-year-old operating system will continue to work just fine, but all technical support for XP—whether paid or otherwise—will cease.”

I certainly don’t miss those green rolling hills, but I do lament that XP had a decent simple search function—even if it did have a cartoon puppy wagging its tail—whereas Vista onwards bought a wonderfully feature rich yet awfully over-ripe slow-rolling lemon for searching that was the result of the bungled role out of the post-DOS really needed Longhorn/WinFS file system (, Feb. 2013).

Updated 27th May 2014.
“As described by Betanews, the hack directs updates intended for Windows Embedded Industry and Windows Server 2003 to XP machines via a Registry change. But XP isn’t quite the same as Windows Embedded or Server 2003.”

Recent/related stories:

Microsoft prepares U-turn on Windows 8 (Pick of the Week, 13th May 2013)
Microsoft touted Surface over content at Windows 8 launch (Pick of the Week, 30th October 2012)

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Beyonce, Cara Delevingne, Jamie Chung, Kaili Thorne, Emma Watson, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Sarah Hyland, Sofia Vergara, Taylor Swift, Vanessa Hudgens.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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