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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

6th May 2014

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and needs to get on that petition site to make that happen!

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz revealed she’s been with a woman! (

“Cohen’s questions didn’t stop there. The actress—who famously dated New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez from 2010 to 2011—was asked about the best and worst thing about dating a baseball player.”

WTF? Who cares! Who and what bits was she chewing on?

Updated 19th July 2014.

Well, she insists it wasn’t Drew Barrrymore: Diaz rubbishes Barrymore rumour (

“That’s like saying I am having sex with my sister. Are you crazy? I wouldn’t even menage with her!”

Puts a line threw the name on the top of the list of many but suggesting threesomes are in her orgiastic repertoire adds further points.

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus, oiled up

Miley Cyrus was mostly naked and blackfaced covered in oil for The Beverly Hillbillies concert intro video (

Recent/related stories:

Rihanna, iHeartRadio Music Awards

Rihanna’s tongue licked just about everything at the iHeartRadio Music Awards (celebritytonguedigest

“Rihanna was no doubt feeling pretty superior considering she cleaned up at the Los Angeles awards, winning four trophies, including Best Fan Army, Hip Hop/R&B Song of the Year, Song of the Year, and Artist of the Year.”
Ariana Grande, iHeartRadio Music Awards

But was not so lickingly-loveable for Ariana Grande’s pretty pins (cheekypopdivadigest

“The Pour it Up singer could not even pretend to enjoy Ariana Grande’s performance. … While at first the singer managed to keep a straight—albeit slightly bored face—by the time Ariana had stripped down to a sequin mini dress with white gogo boots, Rihanna was unable to keep it in.”

Awww. Not at all magnanimous. No one expected her to lick the young popstrel’s ass but… Rihanna and Cara Delevingne super-yacht holiday on the French Riviera hell, okay, it might just be me but I do wanna watch that tongue lick her ass, but that’s very likely because I’m still wondering if she tongued bushy-browed Cara D.’s (Pick of the Week 22nd Jul. 2013).

RiRi’s own ass then proceeded to cause a bit of a fuss: Rihanna’s Instagram account suspended? (celebrityoopsdigest

Rihanna, Lui magazine
“Rihanna’s Instagram account [not] BACK UP after it was suspended for posting racy photo of her naked derrière”

The bum shot in question was one from her nudie shoot for French magazine Lui last week. It appears her bottom got caught in an “automated system” which—not needing to pull her pants down—pulled the page instead.

Recent/related stories:

RiRi was nude for Lui! (Pick of the Week, 30th April)
Rita Ora, The Box in New York

Rita Ora’s boobs were bouncing (almost out) The Box (celebrityoopsdigest…

Rita Ora, Terry Richardson at my studio photoshoot

And was topless and sticking her hand down her pants for cheeky chap Terry Richardson.

Recent/related stories:

Rita Ora gave Beautiful People tongue (Pick of the Week, 30th April)
Iggy Azalea, The New Classic Tour at Theatre of Living Arts in Philadelphia

Iggy Azalea’s big bouncing booty gave The New Classic Tour at Theatre of Living Arts in Philadelphia (cheekypopdivadigest

Recent/related stories:

Christina Aguilera, 2014 New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival

Christina Aguilera gave big jazz festival boobies! (cheekypopdivadigest

Recent/related stories:

Xtina, American Music Awards in Los Angeles (Pick of the Week, 8th December 2013)
Cara Delevingne, Sky Arts Playhouse Presents Timeless Launch Party

Model minx Cara Delevingne gave Timeless tummy and tongue (celebritytonguedigest

“… a new Sky Arts Playhouse Presents TV movie production featuring the 21-year-old bushy-browed model minx making her television acting debut….”

Recent/related stories:

Taylor Swift went shopping with Cara Delevingne (Pick of the Week, 15th April)
Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence was named FHM’s Sexiest Woman of 2014 (

And that was despite describing her “armpit vaginas“ at the 2014 SAG Awards. And there I was thinking that was just an attribute of some particularly kinky kind of female nemesis in XXX-Men: Days of Future Past.

Recent/related stories:

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Comics Unmasked

Comics Unmasked: British Library unveils UK’s largest comic book exhibition (

“We deliberately focused on the quite rebellious and subversive angle of British comics. We wanted to find the artists and writers who really pushed the boundaries and also were sometimes quite trouble-making and provocative. … This exhibition is the first one to have a PG-16 rating and that’s because there is sensitive material in here, potentially offensive. We have one section devoted to erotica, to sex and pornography because it is a vital part of comics and a vital part of life.”

Very good to see that recognized. Comic books: a freakish kind of writing (

“From Punch to V for Vendetta, comics have a rich heritage, but have always antagonised the literary establishment. The curator of a new British Library exhibition wonders why.”

Comics Unmasked: Art and Anarchy in the UK. Open until 19 August 2014 (, British Library official site).

Recent/related stories:

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Summer Glau as Cameron
One in six Brits would have sex with a robot: The percentage “that would” rose dramatically when it was discovered it was TTSCC’s Cameron they would be sticking an appendage in.
One in six Brits would have sex with a robot

Survey finds one in six Brits would have sex with a robot (

“When asked about ‘sexbots’, 17 per cent of people said they would consider sleeping with a robot, while 29 per cent said they had no problem with machines being used in this way. 41 per cent of respondents said that they found the idea uncomfortable, and 14 per cent said that in their view robots should not be used for sex.”

Hell, I’d have put the figure that would shove it up a Dyson at close to 20%. Of the 29% that said they had no problem with machines being used in this way, I wonder how many would watch?

Summer Glau as Cameron

It is of course for some a long-established fetish with its own “technosexuality” portmanteau: think Sorayama’s gynoids ( and especially frequent in Role-play chatrooms, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’s cyborg guardian Cameron (

The sex angle is the shaft of the story the tabloids robotic digits curled around but the survey’s optical sensors focused as much on the fear people have for their safety and jobs in the A.I. near-future—I’m quite surprised Nigel Farage’s opportunity sensor didn’t pop a grasping prosthetic out an orifice to latch on. Oh, it did: Criticised for using staff, & actors posing as voters, Ukip’s Nigel Farage asks “Who do they want us to use, robots?” (

So, would you have sex with a robot?
Yes 56%
No 44%

This poll has now been archived.

Updated 26th April 2016.

And it’s an even greater when questinably sampling Millennials already in love with there pad or phone who already use virtual social media swiping to select their potential love matches:

“New research has found that one in four young people in the UK would happily date a robot. The only caveats, according to the survey of 18- to 34-year-olds, is that their android beau must by a ‘perfect match’, and must look like a real-life human being. … ‘Our bodies, our identities and our senses are enhancing thanks to technology and societal shifts,’ said Ghislaine Boddington, co-founder and creative director of East London design unit body>data>space .”
Updated 5th August 2015.
“This pattern holds for many of the most gender-biased occupations. Men hold 97 percent of the 2.5 million U.S. construction and carpentry jobs. The Oxford study estimates that these male workers stand more than a 70 percent chance of being replaced by robotic workers. By contrast, women hold 93 percent of the registered nurse positions. Their risk of obsolescence is vanishingly small: .009 percent.”

A perceived notion of “obsolescence” that is responsible for the “warrior gene” —or rather “construction and carpentry” gene—abusive yet obviously quite psychologically defensive trolling that overwhelms Twitter et al.? Should the survey have suggested in fact that “one in six female Brits would have to have sex with a robot in the future?” :D

Updated 9th October 2014.
“A joint report from the University of Oxford and Deloitte claims that ten million jobs are at risk from huge advances in technology, with low-paid repetitive roles most likely to be replaced.”

Although neither sex worker or artists mannequin (Pick of the Week 21st October) seem to be on the list. Thankfully both Arts and media and Computing are in the low risk category although, hey, perhaps (wo)man and machine will just become closer, I’ve always thought I’d make a great Borg.

Updated 9th October 2014.
Aiko Chihira
“Aiko Chihira, as the company has named her, can smoothly communicate in Japanese sign language. According to Toshiba, she has ‘the appearance of a friendly young woman, an impression accentuated by blinking eyes and a warm smile.’ Decide for yourself…”

You know, I bet there is a least one old fella that has tinkered with the API to adjust the hand and wrist waverage of his faithful companion.

Updated 22nd September 2014.

Yes, I’m sure I can empathise with Troll-in-the-Hole’s comment on his expressed fear of the “automated homunculus” nervous breakdown hinted at by intrepid space-rockers Hawkwind’s “Robot” (GoogleTube) occurring while his member is shoved in the mouth of that second-hand slightly malfunctioning LiLo “ginger-real minge” sex-slave bot. Ouch!

Updated 25th June 2014.
“As the line between humans and machines continued to blur, Ishiguro’s mechanical newscaster performed tongue-twisters, to the amazement of their human counterparts.”
Updated 5th June 2014.

Evil-Lyn pointed out that RealDoll (, the life-size realistic sex dolls manufactured by Abyss Creations shows what sticking it in the uncanny valley may look like all too well!

Updated 2nd June 2014.

Results are… well, poking a prosthetic only slightly in one direction more than the other—vote yourself if you haven’t yet to see. Could the uncanny valley (, the hypothesis in the field of human aesthetics which makes us weary of something which is nearly human, but not quite, be a vagina dentata or monster dicked Priapus-like factor, depending on your gender/preference/hat?

The Uncanny Valley… I’m damn sure that was one of Ray Harryhausen’s! (Pick of the Week, 13th May 2013).

Recent/related stories:

Original cast on board for Star Wars 2015

“Horizontal boosters. Alluvial dampers? Ow! That’s not it, bring me the Hydrospanner!” Original cast on board for Star Wars 2015 (

“Star Wars fans around the world are chuffed that the original cast members are back for Star Wars: Episode VII in 2015. Admittedly, they’ll look rather different to how they were in the original Star Wars film[s]….”

So now that’s dealt with, focus can at last be shifted on to the younger cast who will likely be taking most of any actual action. Of the names buzzing the biggest question seems to be “who is Daisy Ridley? (

Daisy Ridley
“There’s scant information about the actress online—we can’t even find out how old she is.”

Recent/related stories:

Star Wars Tatooine sets… 37 years on (Pick of the Week, 10th June 2013)

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Tags: Ariana Grande, Cameron Diaz, Cara Delevingne, Christina Aguilera, Daisy Ridley, Iggy Azalea, Jennifer Lawrence, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Rita Ora, Xtina.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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