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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

13th November 2014

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and Chelsea I’m sure is seething that Kim K. didn’t post the full frontal on Instagram so she could bait Instagram into pulling her minge!

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Kim Kardashian West, Paper magazine

Kim Kardashian West shared her big bare badunkadunk balancing act with Paper—with added full frontal! (celebexposuredigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

But where was the cork you might ask?

Updated 2nd February 2015.
Updated 29 November 2014.
“Former CNN presenter Piers Morgan said that the power of the images could not be underestimated.”

Although having the former Daily Mirror editor as a supporter may be considered a pis aller, Piers does indeed leap soundly to her defence:

“When Keira Knightley stripped topless recently, she explained it was strictly to make a protest against air-brushing … when Rihanna, Madonna or Beyonce gyrate their booties on stage, it’s done in the name of ‘art’ … when Demi Moore posed naked and pregnant, it was applauded, not castigated, because she’s a great actress and the photo appeared on the cover of prestigious Hollywood bible, Vanity Fair … when Chelsea Handler does it … it’s heralded as ‘comedy genius’ but when Kim Kardashian-West does it, in a photo session conducted by highly acclaimed French photographer Jean-Paul Goude, she is lambasted.”

And not the first time she has #BrokeTheInternet with download demand:

“In its surprisingly interesting Insights blog (SFW), Pornhub’s statisticians revealed that the reality TV star’s ‘leaked’ sex tape, eventually uploaded by Vivid Entertainment, eclipses all other porn videos.”

Not so bad for someone many people consider as being talentless and not doing much, doubtless while googling for it.

Updated 16th November 2014.

And, oh my, hasn’t her big bare bum caused such a fuss!

On Breaking the Internet (huffingtonpost.com).
“I am not a fan of KK, but I found the picture both interesting and funny. Naked women don’t make me angry, but with all the hoo-hah, I thought maybe I was missing something, so I considered the criticism….”
“Kim Hastreiter, the co-founder and editor of Paper, said: ‘Of course it was Photoshopped. Do you really think that you can open a bottle of champagne and get it to spray in a thin line over someone’s head and land perfectly in a glass sitting on that same person’s bottom?’”

It seems people just didn’t care to enquire much with Jean-Paul Goude’s “Champagne Incident” original.

Jean-Paul Goude, “Champagne Incident”
Jean-Paul Goude, “Champagne Incident”

Recent/related stories:

And in response to Instagram’s Automated Bare Ass Checker bot’s failure to censor Kim K’s pulled down pants…

Chelsea Handler, Instagram

Chelsea Handler tittie and bare bum baited Instagram (celebrityoopsdigest
.blogspot.co.uk)…

Recent/related stories:

MTV Europe Music Awards

Nicki Minaj, MTV Europe Music Awards 2014

Nicki Minaj’s mega rack got its Scottish on (cheekypopdivadigest
.blogspot.co.uk)…

Ariana Grande, MTV Europe Music Awards 2014

And petite popstrel Ariana Grande had no Problem getting more sticky than a dozen fried Mars bars.

Recent/related stories:

Nicki Minaj gave Club 79 underboob (Pick of the Week, 21st October)

Oops!

Jennifer Lawrence, leaving The Hunger Games: Mockingjay—Part 1 London première

Jennifer Lawrence almost slipped a Mockingjay nip on the backseat with Lorde (celebrityoopsdigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

Recent/related stories:

Margot Robbie, Harper Bazaar’s Woman of the Year Awards in London

Australian actress and Jane in the upcoming Tarzan film Margot Robbie slipped vehicular nipple at Harper Bazaar’s Woman of the Year Awards in London (egotastic.com).

Recent/related stories:

Sofia Vergara gave an Emmys after-party nip slip (Pick of the Week, 17th September)

Tongue teasers

Kendall Jenner and Cara Delevingne, Instagram

Cara Delevingne’s Lugi gave Kendall Jenner’s Mario long party tongue (celebritytonguedigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

Recent/related stories:

Cara Delevingne gave Allure Best of Beauty naked (Pick of the Week, 21st October)
Kendall Jenner got artistically nude for fashion (Pick of the Week, 17th September)
Kendall Jenner was wet and topless for Love (Pick of the Week, 2nd August)
Constance Jablonski, Numéro November 2014

French fashion model Constance Jablonski was kitty licking purrrfect for Numéro (celebexposuredigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

Charlotte Free, Instagram

Charlotte Free gave “goodbye pink hair” tongue (celebritytonguedigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

Recent/related stories:

Rita Ora, Elle Korea

Rita Ora gave tongue for Elle Korea (celebritytonguedigest
.blogspot.co.uk)…

Rita Ora, Instagram

And shared her “first facial” on Instagram! (celebrityoopsdigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

Recent/related stories:

Rita Ora gave Moscow thigh (Pick of the Week, 31st October)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Beyoncé—Ma Bling-a-Ding
Beyoncé: You can kiss ma Bling-a-Ding!
Rihanna, Esquire UK

Rihanna got wet, showed skin for Esquire UK (celebexposuredigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

Recent/related stories:

Rihanna gave Halloween turtle tongue (Pick of the Week, 31st October)
RiRi gave Italian vacation crack-shot (Pick of the Week, 17th September)
Beyoncé—Kiss ma bling-a-ding

Beyoncé’s “bling-a-ding” makes her a great role model, employment minister Esther McVey says (telegraph.co.uk).

Telling The Sunday Times that:

“… she describes herself as a ‘modern day feminist’ because the catch-all term of feminism ‘does bring so many connotations’.”

Which I’m sure has some old chaps on the defensive about it being a man’s place to mow the lawn or something. As for a role model she continued:

“What I like to see is people like Beyoncé. Here is a woman who is bling-a-ding. Not only does she look like that and act like that—I’ve seen her perform and I was blown away—but she is at the top of her profession.”

And that dangling bling-a-ding obviously gives rational to all those thigh-gap Photoshop mishaps.

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé was On The Run in Miami (Pick of the Week, 30th June)
Iggy Azalea split her pants at a Bar Mitzvah

Iggy Azalea split her pants at a Bar Mitzvah (gossipcop.com).

“… she continued to perform seemingly unaware that there was a hole in the crotch of her tight pants that was clearly visible every time she bent over or spread her legs.”

Recent/related stories:

Bai Ling, Comikaze

Bai Ling was… Bai Ling at at Comikaze (egotastic.com).

Recent/related stories:

Colorfully kooky Bai Ling tongue at LAX (celebritytonguedigest.blogspot.co.uk, 14th October)
Dani Thorne, Instagram

Dani Thorne turned her mighty cleavage into a card-carrying purse (celebrityoopsdigest
.blogspot.co.uk).

Guess where she’s tucked the pack of Polos.

Recent/related stories:

Kaili Thorne showed where to hang your hat (Pick of the Week, 21st July)
Dani Thorne gave Nasty Gal tongue (Pick of the Week, 30th April)
Kaili Thorne gave cooking sideboob on Instagram (Pick of the Week, 15th April)

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Machete XXX

XXXL Ray Network to release full-length Machete XXX trailer (avn.com).

“… based on Robert Rodriguez’s cult 2010 film which originally was a fake movie trailer from Grindhouse that featured a Mexican James Bond-like spy played by actor Danny Trejo.”

As you may know, I’m quite the connoisseur of the porn parody.

Recent/related stories:

E.T. got a porn parody! (Pick of the Week, 24th October 2013)
Peter Duggan’s Artoons

Peter Duggan’s Artoons ponders Allen Jones’ furnishing nightmare (theguardian.com).

Recent/related stories:

Pull pin release puppy in a cup
Undoubtedly, that’s quite some KA-BOOM you can get inside a… puppy in a cup!

Britain’s spy chief says Facebook and Twitter have become “the command and control networks of choice” for terrorists (telegraph.co.uk).

“He said that in the past, al-Qaida and its and terrorists have used the internet as a place to anonymously distribute material or ‘meet in dark spaces’.”

And there’s me thinking it was only old chaps indignant it’s a man’s place to mow the lawn while the wimmin toss salad who were queing up to poke things through a hole into the internet’s “dark spaces”. I guess they will also have to confront “some uncomfortable truths” that privacy is not an “absolute right” and that’s being watched too, by a spook having a mighty good laugh.

Hang on though—didn’t that FB psychology experiment on users’ emotions pick up on this? Was no one paying attention to all that “kill da infidel” and subsequent “tar n’ feather an immigrant” negativity posted after FB altered the tone to by drawing attention to the fact that the new all-female Thor wasn’t wearing a burqa? (Pick of the Week 23rd July).

Are they even aware of their high profile in the terrorist community? Facebook offers “dark web” Tor link for users that prefer to stay as anonymous as possible (independent.co.uk).

Updated 25th November 2014.
Not forgot
“Michael Adebowale had an online exchange on the social network with an extremist overseas in December 2012, prior to Fusilier Rigby’s killing. During the exchange he expressed his ‘intent to murder a soldier in the most graphic and emotive manner’, according to a report by the Commons Intelligence and Security Committee.”

It is with regret that I admit that I have treated this story so flippantly, completely unaware that Fusilier Rigby’s case may be that which the earlier comments by GCHQ may have been made.

Although the flippancy may now be inappropriate, it does perhaps illustrate exactly what the conclusions of the matter made by the review have been.

“This company does not regard themselves as under any obligation to ensure that they identify such threats, or to report them to the authorities. We find this unacceptable: however unintentionally, they are providing a safe haven for terrorists.”

#RIPLeeRigby

Recent/related stories:

Silk Road

FBI shuts down black market website Silk Road 2.0 (engadget.com).

“Like the original site, Silk Road 2.0 used Tor to hide its origins and operators, but the FBI says an undercover agent infiltrated the site’s support staff…”

And not just one stall at the bazaar and not just in the States…

“The European Cybercrime Centre … also took down the technical infrastructure that is key to the hosting of the illegal market places. As a result, more than 400 dark websites disappeared from the web.”

Recent/related stories:

Bitcoin fears as Mt Gox exchange collapses (Pick of the Week, 5th March)

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Tags: Ariana Grande, Bai Ling, Beyonce, Cara Delevingne, Charlotte Free, Chelsea Handler, Constance Jablonski, Dani Thorne, Iggy Azalea, Jennifer Lawrence, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Margot Robbie, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Rita Ora.

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Disclaimer:

Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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