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Pick of the Month

Pick of the Month

31st July 2015

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and what I too get up to in Greggs while out my tree while no one is looking is my business, and just yours to buy.

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Pick of the Week Month. Yep, the celebrity and entertainment squirt that was Pick of the Week has finally become Pick of the Month. This is partly because… Read more (Latest Picks 19th July 2015).

Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift banged booty over VMA video.

Maybe one of the men took your slot

Ouch! A booty bangin’ contest against Nicki must surely be a forlorn hope were it not for the fact that, well…

.:: Read more
(Latest Picks 22nd July 2015).

Recent/related stories:

“… a video surfaced of Ariana and her new dancer boyfriend in a doughnut shop, where she was seen licking the sweet treats that were left on a counter, before rudely addressing a staff member, saying: ‘What the fuck is that? I hate America.’”

Indeed, a now “glazed” doughnut likely for sale at an exorbitant price on eBay and prompting weighty arm-chair shifting among some elder Arianators furiously syrup steamed at her unpatriotism so soon after cream tea dumping 4th July now wishing and willing to give her a salty lesson for her unsavory sulking.

But, once doughnut-lovin’ cops got involved, it seems it wasn’t just Ariana’s wiggly tongue, Sam or even sugary carbohydrate-craving culture—American or otherwise—to blame.

.:: Read more
(Latest Picks 9th July 2015).

Recent/related stories:

Kim Kardashian West gave bizarre pre-pregnancy photoshoot after Paris Fashion Week in February for Jürgen Teller in System magazine, posing seductively on a mound of dirt styled in a nude body suit and stockings designed by—who else—rappin’ tailor beau Kanye West!

Kim Kardashian West, Jürgen Teller photoshoot (celebexposuredigest

Kim Kardashian West, Jürgen Teller photoshoot

Recent/related stories:

Recent/related stories:

Khloé Kardashian gave big bedunk in tight leggings (Pick of the Week, 8th April 2015)

Recent/related stories:

Kendall Jenner gave see-thru cheek and thong peek (Pick of the Week, 18th May 2015)

…ever nearer to the Empress’ New Clothes “worn” for the Met Gala ball after party back in May.

Recent/related stories:

¡Hurra! J.Lo is headed to Vegas (Latina Pick of the Week, 20th May 2015)

Demi Lovato loves her curves (celebexposuredigest

Demi Lovato, Instagram

Recent/related stories:

Demi Lovato posted pooch portage bikini bottom (Pick of the Week, 8th April 2015)

Recent/related stories:

LiLo was cheeky for Notion (Pick of the Week, 2nd May 2015)

Recent/related stories:

JoJo gave “Geeeaaaauuuxxxx” downblouse cleavage (Pick of the Week, 15th June 2015)
JoJo and friends gave “Babe in BoobLand” tongue (Pick of the Week, 2nd May 2015)
JoJo gave poolside #moblessins (Pick of the Week, 20th April 2015)

Recent/related stories:

Adrienne Bailon gave mega tetas challenge cleavage (Latina Pick of the Week, 17th June 2015)
Adrienne Bailon gave on stage #SelfiesOnFLEEK tongue (Latina Pick of the Week, 3rd May 2015)
Adrienne Bailon’s tetas grandes were see-thru for fashion (Latina Pick of the Week, 20th March 2015)

Recent/related stories:

Jennifer Nicole Lee’s bottom was losing her bottoms again (Pick of the Week, 22nd August 2014)

Recent/related stories:

Maitland Ward gave Memorial Day pokies (Pick of the Week, 15th June 2015)
Maitland Ward got her slave Leia on for #StarWarsDay (Pick of the Week, 18th May 2015)
Maitland Ward gave “Terror Chic” photoshoot (Pick of the Week, 2nd May 2015)

Tongue teasers

Vanessa Hudgens gave “anything you can do” pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Vanessa Hudgens, Instagram

Recent/related stories:

Victoria Justice gave Polkohontas pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Victoria Justice, Instagram

Recent/related stories:

Victoria Justice poked it with cream (Pick of the Week, 15th June 2015)

Cara Delevingne and Gal Gadot poked it at Comic-Con (celebritytonguedigest

Cara Delevingne and Gal Gadot, Instagram

Recent/related stories:

Cara Delevingne shot selfie sideboob (Pick of the Week, 15th June 2015)
First look at Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman (Pick of the Week, 2nd August 2014)

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Porn in Parliament: Palace of Westminster computers made 250,000 attempts to “access pornography” last year (

“The figures, down from around 800 a day according to similar FoI requests two years ago, are likely to include a large number of ‘visits’ made unintentionally, most commonly via unwanted internet pop-ups.”
Elizabeth Tower which houses Big Ben, the heaviest of its five bells
For sure, they don’t call it Big Ben for nothing.

Oh, indeed, “unintentional, unwanted internet pop-ups”; for sure, have even used that one myself.

Busted, Labour peer Lord Sewel on the cover of The Sun
Busted, Labour peer Lord Sewel on the cover of The Sun

Obviously a story folded out in the light—or lack of—of dark goings on in Dolphin Square, and likely an indication that Cameron Flashman isn’t the only one who obviously believes abuse and internet porn inevitably scissor like a pair of lesbians only seen in such, but in all likelihood doddering, rodgering orange-bra parading 69-year-old Lord Sewel himself never got beyond the idea of just having a Ctrl key to keep his un-internet sordid secrets quiet.

.:: Read more
(Latest Picks 28th July 2015).

Recent/related stories:

Porn websites viewed regularly inside UK parliament (Pick of the Week 5th September 2013)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
“Armchair Warrior” (Vanessa Hudgens)
“Armchair Warrior” (Vanessa Hudgens).

The internet—and social media in particular—has perhaps made us all “armchair warriors”, if TV hadn’t already. Be it trolling brinkmanship with regards fame and success or the seething anti-porn rhetoric of the “social justice warrior” seemingly oblivious that their defence often stigmatises all the more those they avow to protect, a cause adopted—be it the abolishment of slim body type favouritism or the anti-Americaness of licking an obesity inflicting doughnut—is often more akin to a status message deployed to promote oneself and/or an agenda. Featuring Vanessa Hudgens as, despite saying that the leakage of *those* snaps were the worst moment of her life, she was quite happy to continue doing them—and good for her—as was likely whomever they were for was quite happy to receive, suggesting that what was most unfortunate was that everyone else seemingly was too whether they dared admit it or not.

“The kingpin was last spotted by security cameras in the shower area of the Altiplano prison, 90 kilometers (55 miles) west of the capital, on Saturday night before disappearing…

Down a tunnel under the shower and on a motorcycle on rails no less.

El Chapo’s motorcycle on rails
“[Mexico’s National Security Commissioner] Monte Alejandro Rubido did not comment on why authorities had apparently failed to notice a [mile-long] long tunnel being built under the prison.”

But was that really the case; was the tunnel already built, long there to smuggle stuff in, or not there at all—last time it was in a laundry cart but this time did El Chapo (“The Shorty”) just walk out the door?

.:: Read more
(Latest Picks 12th July 2015).

Updated 1st August 2015.

Se Busca

Manhunters who caught Pablo Escobar are tasked with tracking down escaped Mexican drug lord (

“Three retired Colombian generals, who were instrumental in tracking down and then killing Pablo Escobar, met for talks in Mexico City. Escobar was Colombia’s most notorious crime boss and the so-called King of Cocaine. He was gunned down in 1993. ”

But, as if it hadn’t been alluded to so much already…

Here’s why “El Chapo” probably won’t be recaptured anytime soon (

“His escape has led to the indictment of seven Mexican officials. Among them, apparently, three belonged to the intelligence division of the Federal Police and two worked at CISEN, Mexico’s civilian intelligence agency. The accused may or may not be guilty of helping El Chapo break out from prison, but the mere suspicion that moles are encrusted in highly sensitive areas could be extremely disruptive. Intelligence sharing, both within and between agencies, will suffer. Whole divisions could be purged or subjected to extreme and time-consuming vetting procedures. ”

Recent/related stories:

“The move comes along with a number of changes Google is rolling out to YouTube, including an improved ranking system to filter out junk in the comments section.”

Google long since accepted its Plus was a minus with regards being a competitor to the all-mighty Facebook—currently enticing uncontacted, pantless Amazonion tribes to join with targetted ads for Calvin Klein and Victoria’s Secret (Latest Picks 3rd Mar. 2015)—but seriously, YouTube is what’s it’s all about with upgraded revenue scent in its nostrils: YouTube’s paid subscription offering takes shape—and it’s almost here (Pick of the Week 20th Apr. 2015).

For sure, Google Plussing all its services was something I was indignant with in principle from the start, so I’m glad to see it go: I support pseudonymity (or who the hell is Gladstone-Tibbs?)

Recent/related stories:

Google will be won’t be banning porn on Blogger (Latest picks 23rd February 2015)

Apple Watch: Sales of much-vaunted gadget fall by 90 per cent in the US, study finds (

“Slice said about 35,000 devices a day were being sold in the US in April. But, it claimed, by 1 July daily sales had slumped to 2,500—a drop of about 90 per cent.”
Apple, a Mickey Mouse Watch?
Apple, a Mickey Mouse Watch?

And while they hope quickly moving on to music streaming (Pick of the Week 6th Jul. 2015) may sweep the watches hands under the carpet the much hyped damn things alarm—one of the few things did have, albeit something many other other watches have had for some time—likely won’t let it go so quietly, unlike many of the other Apple fails many easily forget.

What? You mean Apple fail? Sure, remember Newton, Copland, Pippin, G4 Cube?

Apple’s 10 greatest FAILS (, Feb. 2014).

Catch up with more on the story of the Apple Watch’s trials and tribulations and what it’s real function is here (Pick of the Week 2nd May 2015).

Recent/related stories:

Look Out Apple, It’s Taylor Swift’s Hammer Time! (Pick of the Week 6th July 2015)
Why is buying an Apple Watch such a massive fuss? (Pick of the Week 2nd May 2015)

This week of course sees the rollout of Microsoft’s apology for Windows 8, Windows 10—9 having been sent off to wander the biblical desert—free to Windows 7 and 8 users.

Patiently waiting having “reserved” your download opportunity to see just what Cortana makes of Cockney rhyming slang, the first reviews are in; so how’d it do?

“Windows 10 is the Goldilocks version of Microsoft’s venerable PC operating system—a ‘just right’ compromise between the familiar dependability of Windows 7, and the forward-looking touchscreen vision of Windows 8.”

How to get the Windows 10 update (

“Windows 10 launches on Wednesday, and you’re probably going to want to update. The good news is that Microsoft has made the process surprisingly painless. … But the bad news is that you may not be able to update this week…”

But why the wait? Purely so many in the queue or an attempt to provoke the same sort of privileged trickle rollout longing as Apple’s Watch?

Windows 10: You might be wise to wait before upgrading (

“Instead, let millions of other Microsoft Windows users upgrade before you. See how they fare, and give Microsoft time to iron out any wrinkles like the autoupdating Nvidia graphic drivers that were breaking Windows 10 installations earlier this week. That issue was reportedly fixed just before the official release of Windows 10, but no-one can be sure right now just how many other serious bugs might be lurking.”

Nope, a rolling upgrade queued process just won’t do… I want it now!

Desperate to get the new update? This hack will show you how (

“Rather than waiting for Windows Update to prompt the user to download, as Microsoft News notes, you can instead open ‘Command Prompt’ as an Administrator. Enter…”

Updated 1st August 2015.

Windows 10: Man updates PC and wakes up to find porn slideshow on repeat (

“Excited to upgrade to the new format, the computer-lover upgraded to the new software and left it to ‘do its thing’, only to be woken by his wife asking why his collection of pornographic images was rotating on the desktop view. The unfortunate user appears to have fallen foul of feature of the new operating system which pulls through images saved in one of the default folders to be used as a slideshow.”

Indeed, a reason to distrust those “let me browse your computer for you to create a playlist” functions and a reminder to turn off the recent history view too. Thankfully the missus’ took it well:

“My wife is very happy I admitted my mistake on this sub. She said I took my medicine and she now finds it quite funny. Ain’t love grand?”

For sure, and all the more because it hadn’t found her James Deen cock-shot or Magic Mike full-monty fakes collections.

Updated 6th January 2016.

On the whole, it has been fairly much a success despite Microsoft constant pushing to upgrade any devices not running it, but…

Windows 10 budges a bit as masses cling to Windows 7 (

“The latest version of the Windows software, released in late July, snagged a 9.96 percent share of all Web traffic generated by desktop operating systems in December, tracking company NetMarketShare said Friday. That’s up from 9 percent in November, continuing a tepid pace for Windows 10 following an initial burst of energy in the first month after the software hit the market.

“The report is in sharp contrast to Microsoft’s upbeat announcement Monday that Windows 10 has seen an ‘incredible response’ with more than 200 million devices worldwide running the software. That number includes tablets and smartphones, not just desktop PCs.”

Seemingly a similar situation as with moving people of the late but still seemingly run by many XP—a market share which Windows 10 is still only within striking distance of despite support for XP being official retired back in Apr. 2014, indicating familiarity is a difficult thing to budge, and I have to say, I’ve been through this “I don’t want it, I wanna stick with what I’ve got forever” before—several times.

Updated 26th August 2016.

Windows 10 anniversary update keeps breaking PCs (Latest Picks 26th August 2016).

Recent/related stories:

Microsoft’s new HoloLens, What you need to know (Pick of the Week, 31st January 2015)
Windows XP reached the end of the road (Pick of the Week, 15th April 2014)

Latest picks

Latest picks

You can catch picks of illustration inspiring celebrity sexiness, quirky news stories, tips, work in progress, porno picks, reviews and other things of interest daily in latest picks.

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

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Tags: Adrienne Bailon, Ariana Grande, Cara Delevingne, Demi Lovato, Gal Gadot, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Nicole Lee, Joanna “JoJo” Levesque, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Maitland Ward, Phoebe Tonkin, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift, Teresa Palmer, Vanessa Hudgens, Victoria Justice.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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