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Online cheating site Ashley Madison hacked

7th August 2015

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It’s elementary to assume that the hackers of Ashley Madison mid-July were monogamy crusading social justice warriors but…

Ashley Madison

Online cheating site Ashley Madison hacked (

“It’s unclear how much of the AshleyMadison user account data has been posted online. For now, it appears the hackers have published a relatively small percentage of AshleyMadison user account data and are planning to publish more for each day the company stays online. ‘Too bad for those men, they’re cheating dirtbags and deserve no such discretion,’ the hackers continued. ‘Too bad for ALM, you promised secrecy but didn’t deliver.”

But despite terming users “cheating dirtbags” it seems that they were more miffed with the company’s duplicitous “promised secrecy” of which they obviously knew a lot about:

“According to the hackers, although the ‘full delete’ feature that Ashley Madison advertises promises ‘removal of site usage history and personally identifiable information from the site,’ users’ purchase details—including real name and address—aren’t actually scrubbed. ‘Full Delete netted ALM $1.7mm in revenue in 2014. It’s also a complete lie,’ the hacking group wrote. ‘Users almost always pay with credit card; their purchase details are not removed as promised, and include real name and address, which is of course the most important information the users want removed.’”

So rather than poison pen from a monogamy crusader, there’s likely a dozen or more vehemently incensed condemnatory emails in someones deleted items there and someone out there still trying to convince their spouse it was a real top notch digital platinum streaming audio subscription. Even so, it still lends support for me to the idea that overtly expressed social conscience when not purely wagon of opportunity is often linked with desire to plug an upset pharisaical “cheating dirtbags” ego. :D

Updates/Follow Ups

30th December 2015

Ashley Madison subscriptions up by 4 million despite data theft (

“Despite the infamous data hack that exposed millions of customers earlier this year, the infidelity matchmaking site Ashley Madison says it has 4 million more members now than it did in August. Ashley Madison, which pairs people looking to start affairs outside of their marriages much like a dating site, had 39 million members at the time of the hack. Today, the website’s rolling member count has reached 43,380,000.”

Indeed, but what it “says” and what “is” fact are perhaps a rolling member count’s fake profile’s miles apart, but then again, randy fools and their money… perhaps indicative of similar miles apart reality and expectations of those that sign up free to Facebook for similar.

1st September 2015

Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman

Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman resigns after third leak of emails (

“The chief executive of extramarital affairs website Ashley Madison has left the company after a third leak of emails and suggestions that he had affairs despite earlier denials.”

Indeed likely with any of the rare “real” women that did sign up—was he Andreas, Giovanni or Hansel? How many profiles did he himself have?

28th August 2015

Ashley Madison hack: Most of the “female” accounts were actually male employees (

“The data, which was released on the ‘dark web’ which is not readily accessible to most Internet users, suggests the vast majority of profiles of women on Ashley Madison were fake, or created by automated ‘bots. … The Gizmodo team also found that many of the IP addresses for females could be traced back to Ashley Madison itself and that the most popular female last name in the database was ‘an extremely unusual one, which matched the name of a woman who worked at the company about 10 years ago.’’”

Perhaps a Canadian one who would have much rather been doing something else (

“A Canadian employee of the site also once sue [sic.] the company due to a wrist injury she received after being asked to create 1,000 fake female profiles (it was settled out of court).”

Which should come as no suprise to anyone who as ever visited a dating or chat site; even video chat ones not being exempt—it was common practice when I once helped out in a illustrative and coding capacity on one years back for the room owners to have a series of female video bots playing from a lil’ ol’ chaps flat in Wolverhampton to entice male visitors in, with real fems were usually instantly enticed to stay with moderator status in return for a quick flash of their tatas.

Of course, to entice is the purpose of fake fem daters but was/is only desirable if the fakery is theirs:

Document reveals how Ashley Madison kept prostitutes [and porn] off the site (

“… details have emerged of a document titled ‘Management Presentation’ which reveals revenue numbers, membership growth rates, and explains how it keeps ‘undesirables’ off the site. Ashley Madison defines undesirables as prostitutes and pornography purveyors. … The document explains how the ‘anti-undesirable’ technology works: it ‘utilizes cookies and IP tracking … to redirect these unwanted users, unknowingly, into a custom experience of the site with no actual interaction with ALM users.’”

So even if they paid their money to duplicitously tout there trade an equally “custom” fake “experience” ensued where they could not even contact their own fakes. For sure, sounds like the “dirty” Duggars would have been better off served by their “porn addiction”.

24th August 2015

Ashley Madison hackers made staff’s laptops play AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” (

“The hackers behind the attack on infidelity website Ashley Madison alerted staff to the breach by setting their laptops to play AC/DC song ‘Thunderstruck’. … It is unclear exactly why the song in question was chosen, but it is suspected those behind the leak were seeking to imply the website had been left ‘Thunderstruck’ by the breach.”

Or they played the tune by the Oz rock paragons of non-groupie fidelity being keen for CougarLife—the only sister site left unaffected—to recruit more actively from Texas.

Rode down the highway
Broke the limit, we hit the town
Went through to Texas, yeah Texas, and we had some fun
We met some girls
Some dancers who gave a good time
Broke all the rules
Played all the fools
Yeah yeah they, they, they blew our minds
And I was shaking at the knees
Could I come again please
Yeah them ladies were too kind
You’ve been

21st August 2015

Having already lost face, credibility and his seat on The Family Research Council for serious teen indiscretions back in May, Discovery Health Channel and TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting Josh Duggar was sowing his wild extramatrital conservative Christian oats with Ashley Madison too:

Josh Duggar,“life is short, have an affair”

Josh Duggar: I’m addicted to porn and cheated, I’m the “biggest hypocrite ever” (

“I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.”

Although—judging by his listed turn-ons—a subscription to FTV Girls or Amateur Allure may have been a cheaper mode for the “dirty Duggar” to mollify his “internet porn addiction”—if it really was that and not the Devil that made him do it—opposed to two subscriptions to the extramarital dating site costing him almost a thousand bucks ( However, perhaps it wasn’t:

Liar, liar! Josh Duggar changes his story yet again—19 Kids’ star removes porn addiction & Satan from apology statement (

“‘Satan made me do it’ has been scrubbed from Josh Duggar’s excuse list. After the disgraced reality star admitted that he had an ‘addiction’ to porn and cheated on his wife Anna for ‘several years,’ he spent most of the day toning down his original apology on the family website, removing references to porn and Satan.”

Gluten then? Yep, I’m hedging it was gluten addiction intolerance.

With the outing underway, Cnet took another look at the former subscriber’s hacker’s motives and… found they were pretty much the same as they always have been:

Wreaking havoc: Ashley Madison breach shows hackers’ shifting motives (

“‘Hacking is a form of power,’ said Joshua Corman, an executive at Sonatype, a company that identifies security flaws in code for software developers. As a result, ‘the motivations for hacking will include all motivations in the human condition.’

The hackers who breached Ashley Madison chose to publicly dump the information they had as part of a seemingly moral crusade against the company and its claim it could protect users’ secrets, Corman noted.”

Indeed, rather than porn or the Devil, stand tall moralism made him/her/them do it and make such grandiose “we are Hacking Team” putting “cheating dirtbags” in their place statements.

19th August 2015

Ashley Madison hack: Sex cheat data dumped online as “dark web” exposes millions of husbands’ and wives’ details (

“After the intrusion the hacked demanded that Ashley Madison and Established Men, which promises to connect beautiful young women with rich sugar daddies ‘to fulfill their lifestyle needs’, take down the two sites.

“While the hackers took issue with the questionable morals of the sites, their main point of contention was the fact that Ashley Madison charges users a £15 fee to carry out a full delete of their information should they decide to leave it.”


Courteney “strapon” Cox
“CougarLife, a sister site run by ALM that promises to connect older women with younger men was not targeted by the group which claimed to have complete access to the company’s database, including every single members user records.”

Which perhaps lets us know which one, despite his anger, he re-signed up with looking for the Courteney Cox lookalike sugar mommy of his dreams (Gallery). :)

Undoubtedly they won’t be on the list, but who is? (

“Hackers dropped a gigantic 10Gb file of information about users of the adultery dating website, sparking a scramble on the web to create a searchable database of all those named. … There are reports that 15,000 US military and government email addresses are registered on the database, including executives in high-level positions.”
SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon and Michelle Thomson
SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon (left) and Michelle Thomson (right)

And a Scot or two: MP Michelle Thomson’s details shown in Ashley Madison data hack (

“The married SNP representative for Edinburgh West denies using the adultery website and claims her identity was ‘harvested’.”

“Harvested” or wishing younger wild oats to be sewn?

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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