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Pick of the Month

Pick of the Month

31st August 2015

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and one must ask, having peed on Bear Grylls’ dead mouse in his survival tea, did she pee in the sea too?

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Yes, you surely can now:

Kylie Jenner celebrated her 18th birthday (celebexposuredigest

Kylie Jenner, Sasha Samsonova photoshoot

For sure, fashion flaunter sister Kendall bared her boobies within weeks after (Pick of the Week 29th Nov. 2013), so is it only a short matter of time that the competitive younger Kardashian-Jenner Korps with boobs and booty more in common with her sex-tape famous elder half-sis will attempt to up the ante? For sure, she got off to a good start, giving:

Red, relax with meee sideboob (celebrityoopsdigest…

Kylie Jenner, Instagram

Bikini Punta Mita in purple (…

Kylie Jenner, Punta Mita

With Kendall (…

Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Punta Mita

But not to be outdone by their younger sibling…

Poll: Without wasting time with an exact question which you can elaborate for yourself, Kylie or Kendall?

Kendall 59%
Kylie 41%

This poll has now been archived.

See also:

Recent/related stories:

Khloé Kardashian gave Complex fitness bedunk (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2015)
“The 22-year-old star will host the event tonight, two years after her controversial semi-naked twerking with Robin Thicke”

For which she was widely pilloried and eventually prompting aunties, uncles and dear ol’ nanny State to issue age ratings for online music videos to not upset the “GoogleTube community”:

But proving she can still up the ante, she pretty much showed everything arriving:

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Miley Cyrus was piggin’ naked for Paper (Pick of the Week, 15th June 2015)

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Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift banged booty over VMA video (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2015)

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Rita Ora gave The Nice Guy see-thru nippleage (Pick of the Week, 18th March 2015)

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Charli XCX gave “thank u tokyo” tongue (Pick of the Week, 2nd May 2015)

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Tove Lo tittie flash (Pick of the Week, 15th June 2015)

Michelle Rodriguez gave pubes peek in Sardinia (celebrityoopsdigest

Michelle Rodriguez, Sardinia

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“The 23-year-old singer claims it’s the most ridiculous story she’s ever heard after the bizarre tale, written by an anonymous fan, appeared online a few years back. … The former Disney star finally mentioned the ‘incident’ during promo for her new single Cool For Summer, when she was asked by a fan what the most ridiculous thing she had ever read about herself is.”

Sadly it seems it was more a case of taunting the 23-year-old singer about her own past issues which shows there are indeed a lot more out there fighting with their own sat in their armchairs (Gallery 31st Jul. 2015) and at least this time it didn’t involve peeing on a toilet seat and a frustrated tattoo artist who didn’t get a shoutout (Pick of the Week 2nd May 2015) and she had some gal pal support:

“Despite it probably being a headache for Demi at the time, rapper pal Iggy Azalea thought the whole tale was hilarious and tweeted: ‘I can’t lie ‘delete it fat’ and ‘vagina flick’ are now parts of my official vocab.’”

Recent/related stories:

Demi Lovato loves her curves (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2015)

Tongue teasers

Charli XCX gave post-Lollapalooza tongue and thigh (celebritytonguedigest

Charli XCX, Instagram

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Dani Thorne gave ready for the weird tongue (celebritytonguedigest

Dani Thorne, Instagram

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Kaili Thorne gave bottle and glass for 138 Water (Pick of the Week, 15th June 2015)

Zendaya gave Daya debuting pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Zendaya Coleman, debuting her “Daya” shoe collection in Las Vegas

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Zendaya poked tongue and pulled pre-Grammy party faces (Pick of the Week, 22nd February 2015)

Sarah Hyland poked it for Teen Choice (celebritytonguedigest

Sarah Hyland, 2015 Teen Choice Awards

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Sarah Hyland gave Kentucky Derby tongue tweet (Pick of the Week 2nd May 2015)
Sarah Hyland & Vanessa Hudgens gave photobooth birthday tongue (Pick of the Week, 19th December 2014)

Miley Cyrus poked it with Gigi Gorgeous (celebritytonguedigest

Miley Cyrus and Gigi Gorgeous, Instagram

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Hailee Steinfeld gave #LoveMyself tongue (celebexposuredigest

Hailee Steinfeld, Instagram

A contortionists dream we’d all love to see.

Kim Kardashian West gave “crude and rude” parked pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Kim Kardashian West, Instagram

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Ariana Grande gave photoshoot tongue tease (celebritytonguedigest

Ariana Grande, Miles Diggs photoshoot

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Vanessa Hudgens gave “anything you can do” pokeage (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2015)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Kylie Jenner—Booty-Pull!
With boobs and booty more in common with her sex-tape famous elder half-sis surely is it only a short matter of time that the competitive younger Kardashian-Jenner Korps sibling will attempt to up the ante.

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Kim Kardashian West, Jürgen Teller photoshoot (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2015)
XXXtina—“Personal Share”
XXXtina—“Personal Share”

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Stella Hudgens demonstrated her flexibility (celebexposuredigest

Stella Hudgens, Instagram

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Recent/related stories:

Vanessa Hudgens gave “anything you can do” pokeage (Pick of the Week, 31st July 2015)
Stella Hudgens gave replete rack on Instagram (Pick of the Week, 18th May 2015)
Stella Hudgens gave do as you please cheek in Hawaii (Pick of the Week, 18th March 2015)
“The American starlet has been thrown out of the house after Channel 5 bosses investigated comments made by Tila two years ago regarding the Nazis. In 2013, Tila published a blog post sympathising with Adolf Hitler, and Photoshopped an image showing her wearing a swastika armband. Calling Hitler a ‘sweet kid’ in the post: ‘Why I sympathise with Hitler Part 1: True History Unveiled’”

.:: Read more ::. (Latest Picks 29th Aug. 2015)

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Tila Tequila was pregnant poolside in Galveston (Pick of the Week, 8th July 2014)
“Madame Tussauds in Las Vegas has been forced to put a Nicki Minaj waxwork under guard and fence it off after photos of people taking explicit selfies with the model emerged. They were forced to take action after being made aware of a number of photos appeared on Instagram, one of which shows a guest ‘behaving so inappropriately’, they were forced to take action.”

My guess is they just don’t talk about what was done to the Miley Cyrus one, and that Emma Watson one never found still graces someone’s den with a lampshade on her bonce for disguise when visitors call.

Recent/related stories:

Discarded celebrity waxworks end up in Bible museum (Latest picks 17th August 2015)

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Ask Men gave a data-driven excuse to play the back nine.

“Using data from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, author Mona Chalabi looks at orgasm data from masturbation, oral, vaginal and anal sex, both given and received. Some of the data is enlightening—as men we’re woefully inadequate when it comes to fingerblasting our lovers, as 64% of the 199 respondents report achieving orgasm. Even muffdiving, supposedly our best chance to help women climax, had a rate of return of just over 80%. The only sex act during which women kept pace with men in terms of orgasms (i.e., a rate of over 90%) was receiving anal. In fact, women are likely to orgasm when receiving oral sex than men are when giving it.”

Beware the caveats though: the sample size of backdoor poled women was very small, just 31 respondents. Hardly a scientific sample and most likely all fans of choice features by gonzo and hardcore anal purveyors Evil Angel—and if they weren’t most likely an equally un-random and purely for entertainment purposes number of chaps replying who report massage of their prostrate is their sure-fire key to orgasm too. And if not that, then, if she playfully, willingly let you back the backdoor in first place, she probably knows what else might work for her to, as suggested, it did not ask what else went with or at what stage orgasm came.

Recent/related stories:

“Jeff Koons is a former Wall Street commodities trader who left the financial world to pursue his dream of becoming an artist. … Some have called his work lively and playful, while others refer to it as ‘childish’ and ‘banal’, but for millions of his fans, his work stands out. Koons’ stainless steel sculpture, Balloon Dog (Orange), was sold at an auction for $58.4m, turning him into the most expensive living artist of all time.”

Rising to prominence in the mid-80s and once desiring to be part of the avant-garde grouping of the likes of Duchamp, Warhol and Dalí, Koons is perhaps the epitome not only of art as extravagance but as art as commodity so oil-rich and social-status obsessed Doha in Qatar—a city he often visits—is surely opportune home from home. Expensive, ‘childish’ and ‘banal’ and obsessed as much with production as with what is produced, does Koons’ work say as much about modern culture as modern art? And if it exasperates being so, why do people complain reading about the Kardashians rather than sating themself with Dostoevsky?

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga and Jeff Koons logomark on USA Today (Pick of the Week, 22nd November 2013)
“Residents had believed the 2.5-acre Tropicana site, a former lido, was being turned into a film shoot in a cover story maintained by the local council. A sign reading ‘Dismaland’ was erected across the front of the building and stewards wearing pink tabards with ‘Dismal’ on the back began working there. … Banksy described the park as ‘a festival of art, amusements and entry-level anarchism’, adding: ‘This is an art show for the 99% who’d rather be at Alton Towers.’ The Bristol-based artist was inspired to create the park after peeking through a gap in the fence at the Tropicana site in January. ‘It’s not a swipe at Disney,’ he said. ‘I banned any imagery of Mickey Mouse from the site. It’s a showcase for the best line-up of artists I could imagine, apart from the two who turned me down.’”

An actual statement or pure middle-class “entry-level anarchism” for “the 99% who’d rather be at Alton Towers” instead of an art show?

.:: Read more ::. (Latest Picks 22nd August 2015)

Recent/related stories:

Sotheby’s S/2 gallery released video promoting Banksy retrospective (Pick of the Week, 21st June 2014)

So, Google dropped a cluster bombshell revealing it’s forming an Alphabet, a holding company for Google’s many businesses. So, like… why?

“Google started as a company that built a search engine, but over time it’s become a lot more than that. The Mountain View, California, company has created a number of other hugely popular internet products, including Android, Chrome and Gmail. More recently, the company has begun pouring resources into projects like self-driving cars, anti-aging technology, and balloon-powered internet access.

So, is doing more than just search and offering targeted ads to pay for it more than one company “Goggling” for it can handle or is Page and Brin’s change the world aspirations with projects like driverless cars or Wi-Fi-beaming balloons more than investors can handle?

.:: Read more ::. (Latest Picks 13th August 2015)

Recent/related stories:

Ah, it was an inside job, sorta mining out rather than in if you like.

“Mark Karpeles, the former CEO of the collapsed bitcoin exchange MtGox, was arrested Saturday by Japanese police over his alleged connection with the loss of bitcoins worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Authorities said that the 30-year-old French-born is suspected of manipulating the company’s computer system to falsify its outstanding balance, Reuters reported.”

You can catch up with the story of the fantasy turned finance origins of Bitcoin and Tokyo-based Mt. Gox’s collapse here (Pick of the Week 5th March 2015).

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Tags: Ariana Grande, Charli XCX, Christina Aguilera, Dani Thorne, Demi Lovato, Hailee Steinfeld, Jourdan Dunn, Kendall Jenner, Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Michelle Rodriguez, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Pia Mia Perez, Rihanna, Rita Ora, Sarah Hyland, Selena Gomez, Stella Hudgens, Taylor Swift, Tila Tequila, Zendaya Coleman.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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