Tip: Please give your vote in at least one Picks Poll to enable search results. Thank you.
Search for phrase rather than keywords

Online dating, expectation vs reality

7th February 2016

Page: prev. | 1 | next

Note: This post has been moved from Latest Picks due to length of extended updates.

Rapes linked to dating websites up sixfold (

“The number of rapes linked to dating websites and apps has risen sixfold in five years. … Sean Sutton, head of the NCA Serious Crimes Analysis Section, says the ‘pseudo-closeness’ people can feel towards those they meet online is a factor.”

Ya know, I don’t think I was alone seeing that coming; for sure, interaction online is today seemingly in three categories: those you already know off the internet and have no interest knowing on it, those “friended” on social media you’ve no particular need or desire to get to know other than that they might impress someone else you do, and square on those you are trying to hook in on either on or offline date on the grounds that you both have a “single” status displayed and sexy profile piccy. Oh my, whatever happened to common interests, bulletin boards and poetry forums?

Online dating, expectation vs reality
Online dating, expectation vs reality; but who created which?

Indeed, it seems many who have come online during the last few years have been sold on the internet as being little else than a global dating site and, having not seen any point in it until sold that and why there is such vitriol expressed when you don’t volunteer to share something you are not so keen to do but which they expect or perhaps don’t turn out to be exactly what was presented by a single descriptionary paragraph and profile picture being all they care to view before moving on to sexting matters as a preliminary to what is undoubtedly guaranteed when a R/T meet is arranged.

“More than nine million Britons have signed up to dating websites and the NCA stressed it is not claiming they are inherently dangerous.”

But seemingly what many signed up on there are looking for perhaps is if they don’t get what they seemingly expected—you know, you are signed up on there too so regardless of anything you might have typed about what you are looking everyone knows the internet is just one big insta-click dating site don’t they so dare you how waste my time! etc.

It must be said though that many on such, overt over-guardedness can be as equally as off putting I hear; I mean, who is going to hang around if a 2-page resume is demanded after first IM first-contact is made, seemingly with something out of New Generation’s Borg collective.

Although seemingly inconsequential on dating sites where criteria seems to be made solely on single status and profile pic rating, I guess we are back to bulletin board-like discussions and poetry writing classes to discover those common interests that eventually allow us to get it on in safety on other social media, Facebook et al., which are only ever a status-slip away from dating sites too.

Updates/Follow Ups

2nd March 2016 rapist: “Sexual predator” guilty of attacking five women from dating site (

Court sketch of rapist Jason Lawrance © SWNS
Court sketch of rapist Jason Lawrance
“A father of three has been found guilty of raping five women after meeting them on internet dating site Jason Lawrance, described by police as a ‘sexual predator’, contacted thousands of women online and committed three sex attacks months after getting married to someone he met via the site. The 50-year-old was also found guilty of attempting to rape and sexually assault two other women after chatting to them online.”

I can almost hear some saying “I don’t trust those sites either”, usually followed by petition that it’s safe to give your name and address out to someone just met on whatever Gorean bondage related chat site.

3rd March 2016 rapist jailed for “trail of terror” (

“The 50-year-old dad of three, described ‘as devious, manipulative and highly dangerous to women’, must serve more than 12 years.”

6th May 2016

But even if you are lucky enough not to pick a rapist and have avoided the Fifty Shades of BDSM Cardigan present behind many a profile, does the anonymity of Amazonesque bargain hunt online dating follow through into anonymity issues of trust:

Are you swiping behind my back?: how couples spy with anti-cheating apps (

Anti-cheating apps. illustration: Emma Ahlqvist
“Wilson went in to work at a credit union in St Louis and confessed to colleagues that she thought her boyfriend might be cheating on her. A co-worker mentioned Swipebuster, a new website that scans Tinder’s public database and reveals whether someone has a profile and the last time they used it for the low price of $4.99. Wilson is not normally the jealous type, but she had a ‘gut feeling’ that something was wrong. So she paid the $5 and ran a search.”

A there’s the rub; indeed, even when online-introduced relationships come acropper, someone is keen to cash in making online dating/cheating/dating a regular circular money making exercise.

21st October 2016

And for certain demographics—a term used purely in its functional non-judgemental sense—it gets grisly worse and for some through profession at least should bloody well better know the danger:

PC Gordon Semple and alleged killer Stefano Brizz

Breaking Bad fanatic killed police officer and dissolved his body in a bath of acid after Grindr sex date, court hears (

“A Breaking Bad fanatic killed a police officer and dissolved his body in the bath after using a gay dating app to invite him to his flat for a drug-fuelled sex party, a court heard. Stefano Brizzi copied a scene in the American drama by dismembering the body of PC Gordon Semple and dissolving it in an acid bath after strangling him, jurors at the Old Bailey were told. The 59-year-old police officer had arranged via the Grindr app to go to his alleged killer’s south London flat for ‘hot, dirty, sleazy’ sex while he was on duty on April 1. Brizzi was allegedly in the process of throttling the officer when he turned away another man who had arrived for the sex party.”

And, as news comes out of the trial today, giving acute déjà vu of German cannibal Armin Meiwes (Wikipedia) who cooked and ate voluntary victim—with voluntary victim tucking in too with that particular part flambéed first—met on internet cannibal forum:

PC Gordon Semple: Murder accused “may have cooked and eaten officer” (

“The Old Bailey heard Mr Semple’s DNA was found on the blade of a blender, cooking pot and other items in the defendant’s kitchen. … Investigators also found there were bite marks on a piece of bone recovered from the kitchen bin at Mr Brizzi’s home and evidence that one of Mr Semple’s legs had been burnt, the jury was told.”

*Shudder* And it certainly seems Grindr is the new “killer” app with another trial underway in the UK at the same time:

Grindr murder trial clip shown of alleged serial killer “just before 4th victim died” (

“Members of Jack Taylor’s family wept as CCTV images were played showing the 25-year-old walking alongside Stephen Port. Mr Taylor’s body was found at St Margaret’s church leaning against an outer wall in Barking, east London on September 14 last year. … Taylor had met the 41-year-old chef via the gay social network Grindr, the court heard. … Port has pleaded not guilty to 19 offences against 12 men—including four murders, seven rapes, four sex assaults and administering a substance with intent.”

Updated 14th November 2016

Breaking Bad fan who killed PC and dissolved his body in acid found guilty of murder (

“Crystal Meth addict Stefano Brizzi strangled PC Gordon Semple whilst high and then chopped up his body after meeting him through the gay dating app Grindr. The 50-year-old Italian then tried to get rid of his body in an acid bath and also roasted, boiled and potentially ate some of the policeman’s body parts, a court was told. Brizzi initially told officers that the ‘devil" had told him to kill PC Semple but then later claimed that the 59-year-old died accidentally during a sex game at his flat in south London. ”

And meanwhile those on Grindr and a plethora of other elderly ManOChat bondage rooms will continue to not let common sense override there desire for RT reach-around.

Updated 19th February 2017

Man who killed & dissolved UK Grindr date in acid found dead in jail (

“A number of news outlets are now reporting Brizzi was found dead in Belmarsh prison Sunday of an apparent suicide. Brizzi, a former Morgan Stanley IT Developer, met Semple on the gay dating app Grindr and arranged a meeting at his apartment near London’s Tate Modern gallery in April 2015, the Associated Press reported. After being arrested, Brizzi confessed to killing Semple and said he tried to dissolve his body because ‘Satan told me to.’”

“Satan” I take it being the heady chemsex brew of whatever was in that crystal meth “Nutella”.

Updated 23rd November 2016

And the other chap on trial?

Grindr serial killer Stephen Port found guilty of three murders (

Stephen Port
Stephen Port (profile pic and sans toupee on right after arrest)
“Chef Stephen Port has been found guilty at the Old Bailey of the murder of three men. The serial killer sought gay men on the dating app Grindr and poisoned them so he could have sex with them while they were unconscious. … He was convicted of a total of 16 offences against nine out of 12 alleged victims, including the three murders.”

Updated 30th November 2016

And for those that doubt their are elderly chaps using Grindr and such—despite said murder cases—for “old for young” sex aid shopping, as hetrosexual elderly chaps intimidatingly do for younger females on social media too:

Grindr Killer, BBC iPlayer

Grindr Killer (

“For over a year police failed to properly investigate the deaths of young gay men and link them to a serial killer. During this time one man repeatedly tried to raise the alarm. “They were together at a party in Barking, essentially a drug-fueled orgy [with] young guys, loads of drugs provided bu older guys [that] take advantage of the younger ones when passed out.””

Info: Can I use BBC iPlayer outside the UK? (BBC iPlayer help). Very likely with proxy, but sadly no, not without infringing rights agreements without a UK TV licence.

Recent/related stories

Page: prev. | 1 | next

Tags: online dating.

Tip: Please give your vote in a Poll to enable Tags search results. Thank you.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

Privacy policy

No cookies, ad and tracker free. Read more.