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Pick of the Month

Pick of the Month

31st October 2016

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and hoping you had a survived the Halloween zombie holocaust and killer clowns, which I guess you will considering the unquenchable spooky force of commercialism wants you back for a sequal at least next year.

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Kylie Jenner was arm-bra Complex (celebexposuredigest…

Kylie Jenner, Complex magazine October 2016

See also:

Recent/related stories:

Kendall, Kim, Kylie perky pokies and mirror candids (Pick of the Month, 30th September 2016)

Recent/related stories:

Victoria Justice shared tongue fun with Barbara Palvin (Pick of the Month, 30th September 2016)
Barbara Palvin poked it in Venice (Pick of the Month, 31st August 2016)
Victoria Justice gave bun pun pokeage (Pick of the Month, 30th June 2016)

Recent/related stories:

Lourdes Leon, see-thru nipples in London (Pick of the Month, 30th June 2016)

Rita Ora gave sheer babydoll nipple out to dinner in LA (celebrityoopsdigest

Rita Ora, dinner in Los Angeles

Recent/related stories:

Rita Ora, Vanity Fair Itália (Pick of the Month, 30th September 2016)
Rita Ora was candidly caught topless in Miami (Pick of the Month, 30th June 2016)

Milla Jovovich was topless and “all at sea” for Pop (celebexposuredigest

Milla Jovovich, Pop magazine winter 2016 issue

Recent/related stories:

Milla Jovovich slipped sizeable photoshoot nip in NYC (Pick of the Month, 30th June 2016)

Recent/related stories:

Scout Willis gave private viewing see-thru nippleage (Pick of the Month, 18th March 2015)

See also:

Recent/related stories:

Thorne sisters Kaili, Dani and Bella gave pool day bikini goods (Pick of the Month, 30th November 2015)
Kaili Thorne gave bottle and glass for 138 Water (Pick of the Month, 15th June 2015)

See also:

Recent/related stories:

Alexa PenaVega, bump love (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2016)
Candice Swanepoel, naked for Vogue Spain (Pick of the Month, 30th June 2016)

Tongue teasers

Charli XCX gave drunken pokeage overdrive in Paris (celebritytonguedigest…

Charli XCX, Instagram

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Vanessa Hudgens gave Knott’s Scary Farm pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Vanessa Hudgens, Knott’s Scary Farm Black Carpet Event

See also:

Recent/related stories:

Vanessa Hudgens, shopping cheek (Pick of the Month, 31st August 2016)
Stella and Vanessa Hudgens poked it for cotton candy (Pick of the Month, 30th June 2016)
Vanessa Hudgens—Pumpkin Pleaser
A pumpkin pleaser for sure!

Miley Cyrus poked it for happiness (celebritytonguedigest…

Miley Cyrus, Instagram

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus gave eniggggmmmatic bday best wishes pokeage (Pick of the Month, 30th September 2016)
Miley Cyrus, pool daaaaaze pokeage (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2016)
Miley Cyrus, leaked and outtake pics (Pick of the Month, 30th April 2016)

Bella Thorne served exquisite tongue on a virtual platter (celebritytonguedigest…

Bella Thorne, Snapchat

See also:

Recent/related stories:

Bella and Dani Thorne, bonding and festival tongue (Pick of the Month, 30th September 2016)
Bella Thorne sideboob hipshake (Pick of the Month, 31st August 2016)
Bella and Dani Thorne, when in Rome… (Pick of the Month, 31st July 2016)

Candice Swanepoel gave face mask pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Candice Swanepoel

See also:

Becky G gave Mighty Morphin power pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Becky G, Power Rangers Panel at New York Comic-con

Recent/related stories:

Becky G gave vehicular pokeage (Pick of the Month, 30th April 2016)
Becky G poked it at herself (Pick of the Month, 29th February 2016)

Recent/related stories:

Charlotte Free gave blue “glitterschpitz” tongue (Pick of the Month, 30th September 2015)

Miss Bumbum Brazil 2015 Suzy Cortez gave preciosa pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Suzy Cortez, Instagram

Recent/related stories:

Suzy Cortez, chama Olímpica (Pick of the Month, 30th June 2016)
Suzy Cortez, campeões nus (Pick of the Month, 31st May 2016)

Stella Hudgens gave “moments with boo” Halloween pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Stella Hudgens, Instagram

See also:

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Ariana Grande Halloween
A she-devil of a time with a “dangerous woman”.

Recent/related stories:

J.Lo kicked off her All I Have Las Vegas residency (Pick of the Month, 31st January 2016)

And gave bathtime nipple (celebrityoopsdigest

Charli XCX, Snapchat

See also:

Recent/related stories:

Charli XCX Ibiza tongue (Pick of the Month, 30th September 2016)
Charli XCX, birthday bottle and tongue (Pick of the Month, 31st August 2016)

Leading many to knee-jerk believe it was a hoax for an upcoming episode of KUWTK, most to believe it was an inside job and, alas, practically all to believe it was somehow her fault.

“Armed gunmen broke into Kim Kardashian’s Paris apartment, taped her mouth shut and stole more than $10 million in jewelry and the emergency rippled quickly all the way to New York … where Kanye bolted from the stage mid-concert. There were 5 gunmen, posing as cops, who threatened the concierge and made him open the door to her room. Our sources say at least 2 gunmen bound and gagged Kim with handcuffs and tape and then put her in the bathtub. We’re told Kim begged them to spare her life, telling them she had babies at home. The gunmen knew exactly what they were doing … we’re told they beelined it for her jewelry and took a $4.5 million ring and a jewelry box. After the gunmen left she was able to break out of the restraints and called for help.”
The stolen ring

Allowing a host of martial arts master seemingly not with much to currently do “security personal” to come forward to give their take and many on forums and chatrooms taking a peculiarly vivid interest on whom had fingers—or whatever else—on or in her ostentatious ring.

.:: Read more ::. (Latest Picks 3rd October 2016).

And also appropriated as the must-wear Halloween costume for some curiously seemimngly unaware of intensity of thoughs of chaps on a night out from ManOChat Gorean bondage chatrooms intent on taking their “she’s not a celebrity” wealth/attention inequality frustrations on/up said ring: Offensive Kim Kardashian robbery victim Halloween outfit causes outrage (Latest Picks 11th October 2016).

Parisian Heist Robbery Victim Costume Kit

See also:

It’s… Halloween

He may have vied with el Chapo as must-have mask last year in Mexico (Latest Picks 22nd Oct. 2015) but this year his pumpkin hued visage has it all to him self, seemingly reminiscent of his “politics”.

And needless to say, as with much of the red baseball cap merchandise produced by the Trump “Victory” campaign—until cancelled—made in China.

“If you live in China and you’re still looking for an extra-spooky Halloween costume, the Shenzhen Lanbingcai Latex Crafts Factory has got you covered. The factory, which churns out tons of Halloween costumes and masks, is distributing rubber masks of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump within mainland China, as seen in Getty Images’ photo database. They cost about $4. And they’re pretty terrifying.”

Indeed, sounds just like the real thing.

“China has come up again and again as one of the many scapegoats in Trump’s description of the world. He has blamed the country for stealing American jobs, keeping its currency cheap and possibly even hacking the Democratic National Committee.”

In conjunction with Mexico no doubt. But Donald, China already has a great wall, and did indeed build it themself.

Donald Trump: “Why can’t people pay to get their way?”, org. image © Reuters

But with undercover reporters at The Telegraph purporting to represent a fictitious Chinese donor assured that he would obtain “influence” if Mr Trump made it to the White House ( likely not the most terrifying thing if those currently reading Ye Ol’ Almanac of Conspiracy Theory (Midwest Edition) actually elect him so he can sell off Kansas next time he goes bankrupt.

Recent/related stories:

Halloween spending to soar to bewitching heights (Latest picks 17th October 2016)

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

It’s not just Chinese funerals that use a bit of tit-bounce to promote interest and raise… funds:

“A queue of people lines up to grope a bride’s breasts…so that she can afford a honeymoon. This bizarre clip, which was filmed in China, shows men and women paying to touch the bride, apparently so that she and her new husband can pay for their post-wedding trip. The woman and those groping her appear to pose for pictures as she takes the money and pushes their hands to her chest. Meanwhile, the wedding party continues around them.”

That’s a novel wedding selfie to put in the Instagram album isn’t it; thankfully though, rather than old uncle Fu:

“The first in line in the clip is a woman who spends some time posing for a photo with the bride, who is still wearing her wedding outfit. Her dress is pulled down to expose her breasts, which are then manhandled for cash.”

Chinese sex seemingly being the aspect of the rising Asian tiger tabloids see most opportune, and indeed, at least it could be said marking aspects of global culture those reading tabloids are interested in as anything other than mutable….

.:: Read more ::. (Latest Picks 11th October 2016).

Recent/related stories:

Nong Nat and husband
“A former porn star has revealed her secret to landing a wealthy older husband— becoming a Buddhist and praying. Nong Nat, 31, became an X-rated adult star after featuring in dozens of films including Tokyo Hunter and Asian Heart. She was even prosecuted over the saucy roles after police identified her face in a haul of black-market videos in primarily Buddhist Thailand where pornography is illegal. But Nong—who also used the name Nat Chanapa—quit the adult industry, became a devout Buddhist and married American millionaire architect 70-year-old Harold Jennings Nesland Jr. in 2012. She says her Buddhist ‘good deeds, meditation and praying’, landed her a husband a who gives her generous ‘monthly payments’. … ‘Prayers and meditation get you a good husband.’”

Om shanti shanti shanti (lit. “Salutations to the Absolute Truth!” but akin to “Amen” at the end of a prayer) to that.

Fortunately Buddhist teaching on suffering and dispensing of material wealth does not preclude her wearing that fabulous Kendall and Kylie Topshop bikini range ( released earlier this year, with much more suffering—for Mr Nesland Jr. or others—if she didn’t.

Nong Nat

Updated 8th March 2017

But, likely surprising none, it was not to last: Thai porn star, 31, who married elderly American millionaire after turning to Buddhism gets a divorce and plans boob job to make a career comeback (Latest Picks).

Recent/related stories:

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Tags: Alexa Vega, Becky G, Bella Thorne, Candice Swanepoel, Charli XCX, Charlotte Free, Dani Thorne, Jennifer Lopez, Kaili Thorne, Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Lizzie Cundy, Lourdes Leon, Miley Cyrus, Milla Jovovich, Rita Ora, Stella Hudgens, Suzy Cortez, Tallulah Willis, Vanessa Hudgens, Victoria Justice.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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