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Best of 2017

Pick of… best of 2017

31st December 2017

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness of the year. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and sincerely expressing my thanks for all visitors throughout the year, wishing you all the best for the next.

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Pick of the year’s best stories & pics

Celeb stories


January saw…

Much tongue pokeage at Women’s Marches in Washington and Los Angeles.

To protest The Orange Don’s inauguration in particular and the alt-ideology of angry chaps on the internet who blame that “feminist agenda” more generally for their inability to leave 4Chan and the house with aim of interesting a girlfriend.

Vanessa Hudgens, Instagram Miley Cyrus, Woman’s March Los Angeles Bella Thorne, Instagram

A polarising issue for sure, but while the concerned—or at least bemused—got feminine tongue, for the angry chaps reading many Nietzsche quotes that helped elect him there was—as doubtless anyone not swimming in the Mississippi River branch of De Nile in conspiracy dungarees could have said—there was only this:

Orange Don’s stank face
Selena Gomez, Instagram Bella Hadid, Kinugawa Restaurant in Paris

But sadly, it was The Weeknd that broke up amicably with SelGo by October, leaving all looking for how it was Bieber’s fault as it invariably is, with her rekindling that perpetually relationship on-off-on-off-again come December, much to the disgust of her family with regards SelGo’s spell in rehab they hold him responsible for, her parents being her former managers ’n’ all, which she fired back in 2014.

And much bum as Joanna “JoJo” Levesque’s Mad Love tour came to London’s Camden Town.

A contractual dispute having delayed a new album and tour from the 26-year-old petite popstrel in perpetuum for ten years.

JoJo, Koko, Camden Town, London
Sofia Vergara—Mega Chichis
Sofia Vergara—Mega Chichis


February saw…

Kendall + Kylie DropOne collection
Kendall + Kylie DropOne collection

The most conspicuous and indeed somewhat curious part of a collection “dropped” as exemplar of what Kendall and Kylie do or would actually wear—with no monkey’s uncle involved in picking—were the fancy flared, hight-waisted drawstring style pants in sack cloth beige or banana yellow seemingly held up with a Miller’s knot.

Lady Gaga, 51st Super Bowel halftime performance, Houston

Which also gave springing out from under bridge interaction opportunity on social media for body shaming trolls who had not looked in a full-body mirror for some time.

And, in the new age of post-truth, reversal of progress and return to superstition, gave wind to something evilly foul smelling in conspiracy dungarees as the alt-right ranted that her Super Bowl 51 performance was a satanic ritual before returning to pulling on their alt-doodah over a not in the least morality corrupting porno Pikachu getting it on with a perturbed alt-Pepe.

Playboy March/April 2017 issue cover

It all having been an attention grabbing cry of traditional media desperation from the bunny inescapably in the internet coyotes amateur porn jaws.

But sadly, September would see what must surely be the last sticky page turned.


March saw…

The start of a cavalcade of leaked nude pictures and videos of the famous sometimes in flagrante delicto but more often dressing up for stylist who’s account it was that has been expertly phished or not quite so adept advantage taking of a password recovery security elephant in the room or rather cloud, that became known as the Fappening 2 (or 4, or 7 depending upon what new leaked nudie counts as a version upgrade or not).

Amanda Seyfried

But moving on to the often not quite so famous except to those with encyclopedic knowledge of theatrical wrestlin’ divas in April.

Bella Thorne gave long awaited peak of those puffy cherries on her over-sized pale scones, which from that point on became a seemingly twice weekly social share.

Bella Thorne, Live Chat

And on the Instagram Live service no less, suggesting the previously overactive Instagram Nipple Checker Bot had had a day off or was just served a new algorithm in realisation that seriously, it’s not puppies in cups Gen Z—or “becomers” to Disney’s Freeform—are tempted to sit through adverts to see.

Charli XCX—“Carrot Hunt”
It’s Easter and, indeed, some confusion over sponsored egg rather than carrot hunt.


April saw…

A trickle become a dam busting flood as Fappening 4.0 or 2.1—depending on software versioning convention that / on 4Chan or dom on particular SubReddit choose to use—fappened.

Alt-Fappening 2.0

Initially with some famous names which soon got lost in a surging whirlpool over the next few months of theatrical wrestlin’ divas putting things up their bum and having their championship belt along with their boat race given the Protein Shake along with assorted Polish soap opera stars and Maltese weather girls, occasionally with an A-lister—especially in July—that had forum moderators drown in Erectoplasm attempting to exorcise the revenant that Britney Spears’ bumhole or SelGo squirting must surely be next, while instead getting Miley Cyrus taking a pantless outdoor “leak” instead in August.

Kim Kardashian, Casa Aramara in Punta Mita, Mexico

Doubtless resulting in that legitimised indignation interaction while on social media of their choice taking heed with them as obviously being in need of targeted ads for hemorrhoid cream.

Bella Thorne—The Naked Tongue Teaser
For sure, I don’t know what is either, but there seems to be a lot of it and many imagining it.

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Bella Thorne—Dressing up with Bella #1 Gloves
Gloves—because without accessories a girl just feels naked!


May saw…


July saw…

Fappening: Sarah Hyland pictures and videos leak, and indeed with a #MAGA message for “All fart” to “believe what you want” as puzzling as Orange Don’s “covfefe” which most assumed was his pet name that orange syrup.

Sarah Hyland, social media seemingly in same bathrobe featured in leaks


August saw…

Which is why she was included in the collective “the Silence Breakers” awarded Time magazine’s Person of the Year in December, her “boney buns” being grabbed by a Denver DJ seemingly either not #MeToo enough for some or simply forgotten four months later.

Time magazine Person of the Year cover

And, to bring back some A-list to an ever increasing swirl of wrestlin’ divas, ladies of tennis, and Russian DJs: Fappening—Kristen Stewart, Stella Maxwell lawyer up in nude photo hack.

Miley & Stella—Strap on, strap in

Indeed, with Stella Maxwell’s fem friend at the time Miley Cyrus taking a selection of pantless outdoor “leaks” for her while which ended up on presumably one of their phones.



October saw…

A whole heap of entertainment industry trouble and house cleaning in what would start as the—

Private Eye, Oscar, Harvey cartoon

And what a slanging match it was for all in need of an opinion soapbox, whatever your ideology, angry agenda, or with whom your grievance, while, despite many losing their halo along with Netlix show and prestigious association, likely any justice for those admitting #MeToo will be more unfortunate act of retroactive “justice” continuity in any ever expanding franchise you care to mention than anything else.

Emma Watson, Feminist T&A
For sure, it’s just lucky with all that fuss about her bare feminist boob that they didn’t ask her to turn round.

And finally, those we will miss…

This year sadly the following passed on.










Charles Manson—and good riddance.

Charles Manson being led away in handcuffs after being found guilty of murder in 1971. Image: Alamy Stock Photo

And many, many more I missed or did not feature.

That’s it

Best of 2018

So there you have it, those were my picks of the year. Wishing you a wonderful start to 2018!


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Tags: Amanda Seyfried, Ariana Grande, Bella Hadid, Bella Thorne, Beyonce, Emma Watson, Francia Raisa, Joanna “JoJo” Levesque, Katy Perry, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kristen Stewart, Kylie Jenner, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Sarah Hyland, Selena Gomez, Stella Maxwell, Taylor Swift, Vanessa Hudgens.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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