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9th July 2018
Camsoda PayPhal
Image: Camsoda

CamSoda launches a digital wallet that lets men pay cam models based on the size of their ERECTIONS (

And with respect to the phallic dynamic of there needing to be something in it for them for anyone wishing to see someone tossing off calling their new digital wallet basing payment on the size of erections “PayPhal”. Okay, so how’s this working?

The system allows men to pay cam models in real-time based on their arousal, as their penis progresses from “flaccid” to “half-chub” to “erection.”

With a statement that “It only makes sense that here at CamSoda we cater to our users and provide them with a seamless payment method that aligns with their horniness” and suggestion that the last thing a horny dude wants to do when about to tune in to a camgirl willing to stick a foot long dido up her ass for the right price is to have to pull out “their wallet and enter their payment details and wait for everything to process”. Indeed, I believe Soho peep shows have long played on the same impatience of chaps with a raging boner to relieve them of their cash at least.

But judgement of erection status in the internet age not done by camera and Mk1 eyeball but by wearing a plastic blue penis ring connected to an app which will tip the model with an electronic payment with regards to knob’s arousal.

Camsoda states it is hoping to partner with strip clubs with the payment system too, although one can imaging the awkwardness of being handed a penis ring you have to put on before the show, especially in ensuring all punters are actually wearing theirs.

But with respect it actually taking off, some may suspect perhaps it’s a similar situation to those dual action sex toys to enjoy during a long distance relationship cam session, the VR revolutionary virtual sex promises remaining flaccid due to high price and reluctance of investors, and perhaps like the many empowering campaigns PornHub rubs and runs for quirky headline attention.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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