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23rd January 2016

How tech is taking over your orgasm (cnet.com).

“A former professional race car driver, Doornbos is co-founder of Amsterdam-based Kiiroo. The company spent the last two years figuring out how to use the latest computer technology to simulate human touch without having someone else actually there.”

Indeed, so… how does that work? Well, for sure, whatever it may work better if we replace “tall, bald and unabashed Dutchman” with something else but bare with it:

Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl
“Standing about a foot away, the tall, bald and unabashed Dutchman strokes a lily-white rubber dildo that, via the magic of the Internet and a smartphone, syncs up with a ‘fleshlight.’ Never heard of it? Think of a hollow flashlight lined with silicone that feels like a … well, you know. When Doornbos grips the dildo, the fleshlight tightens. When he rubs it, the insides move.”

Said “hollow flashlight lined with silicone that feels like a … well, you know” and looks like … well, you know, a flashlight lined with silicone made to look like … well, you know, a flashlight lined with silicone sometimes branded as the vaginal or anal region of the pornstar of your choice.

“‘We added the third dimension of touch to the Internet,’ he tells me from the show floor of the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, where I’m spending the week trying to understand how technology is changing our sex lives. Doornbos’ company is part of that changing landscape. His devices don’t just interact with each other, they can also synchronize with porn videos to give people a sense of participating in the action.”

So at some point if an interactive schlong-hold can be gained it may synch with the action going on in your choice feature. But I can’t help but recall such interactive feature action has been promised and never quite got a grip before though, and it’s at that point the counterpart interactive fallback feature for him and her is floated so you can make your own feature via Skype or such rather than watching someone else’s:

“The dildo, dubbed the Pearl, costs $149. Its counterpart for men, the Onyx, goes for $249. Purchased together, they’re $360. The company sells them directly and they’re even available on Amazon.”

Oh, has that not at least been floated but seemingly failed on the up on intake before?

So why does it never seem to get beyond the float, is there just no interactive demand? It could be that it’s easy to imagine one involving long-distance dildonic coupling but is it perhaps confusing an elusive communicative missing part that is simply not sated by either solitarily knocking one out over porn or in a one-on-one private cam session regardless of whether you are electronically tweaking each others bits or not?

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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