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A peek at illustration inspiring celebrity sexiness, quirky news stories from inherently pornified pop culture, tips, sketchbook and work in progress, reviews and other things of interest; whatever’s on my mind really—which more fool you if you ever take that seriously.

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18th May 2020

IKEA[:] Don’t masturbate in our stores … reminder after viral video (tmz.com).

Spray at IKEA, Pornhub
(Pornhub)

The Swedish furniture company is kindly reminding folks not to masturbate while shopping after footage of a woman doing just that went viral on Chinese social media.

In the raunchy clip, you see a half-dressed woman touching herself while sitting on sofas, chairs and beds displayed throughout the store -- at one point, other shoppers walk by and seemingly get a peep show. The woman even twerks for the camera.

But with China only just tentatively emerging from its pandemic lockdown suggesting that it was not shot recently:

It's unclear when the video, which has since been scrubbed from Chinese social media was shot … no one is wearing a face mask in the footage, which makes it seem like the masturbating muse hit up an IKEA before the coronavirus outbreak.

With the “water spray at IKEA” viral clip in question found here (pornhub.com), the ready-to-assemble retailer is concerned this could become a trend and is somewhat keen to stop any more squirtage onto more of its Slampa sofas:

The Swedish homeware group says ... “We resolutely oppose and condemn this kind of behavior, and immediately reported it to the police in the city of the suspected store.”

But a further peek on the user-upload porn clip sharer suggests it already has at least with the Asian exhibitionist camgirl in question (pornhub.com), with indeed her selling full length, full squirt videos rather than clips being similar to the viral vid (ibid.) via ManyVids, a service long catering to whatever your voyeuristic peccadilloes and no doubt at some point soon Pornhub attempting to cash in with its own do-it-on-and-up-your-armchair campaign.

Updated

The exhibitionist camgirl is Littlesubgirl (manyvids.com).

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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