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Whatever’s on my mind really.

A peek at illustration inspiring celebrity sexiness, quirky news stories from inherently pornified pop culture, tips, sketchbook and work in progress, reviews and other things of interest; whatever’s on my mind really—which more fool you if you ever take that seriously.

Latest Picks is a sort of mini-blog for daily thoughts and picks. Longer articles, stories & sketches are found in the full-size blog, where indeed Latest Picks are moved when updates to a story make it too large.

Note: Both Latest Picks and Blog are to be retired at the end of September, although both will remain available indefinitely as an archived part of the site. No further updates to past stories will be made.

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17th September 2018
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and Lily Allen Lily Allen—Cheeky!

Lily Allen started feud with Cheryl because she had yet to achieve an orgasm (

A feud with the now mononymic Cheryl but at the time Tweedy that they thankfully put aside in 2015 presumably so that Lily could feud with others on Twitter.

In Lily’s autobiography My Thoughts Exactly, the 33-year-old writes: “Sorry Cheryl, I was angry because I hadn’t come yet.”

Oh dear. Despite Lily’s candid lyrics about sex and relationships journalist Sophie Heawood asked whether she had not never masturbated to find her thing at that time:

Lily replied: “Oh, I had had a go. But I felt funny about it. It’s like what I said about not having a sense of self—when I started doing it, I had to tell myself, ‘You deserve this, this is OK.’ It was an effort to get to that point.”

Presumably she’s mastered it now, perhaps while “watching those things on Pornhub for years” as confessed a couple of weeks back ( and likely while engaging in the Twitter tirades she often still delivers similar to that which caused all the trouble with Cheryl while suffering fiendish blue bean (

In My Thoughts Exactly, Lily admits she regrets that post, and said that at the time she believed that Girls Aloud were “colluding with the oppressors” by wearing skimpy clothes.

Those “gorgeous girls—my peers, colleagues so to speak, and co-workers” being loved and rewarded for taking their clothes off while leaving Lily just popping out frequent contrived oops teat.

Serialised excerpts from her upcoming tell-all autobiography detailing the next day a “toilet sex romp” with married Liam Gallagher on a flight to Japan ( while still a star-struck Oasis fan and how the brooding Mancunian Britpop rocker had used her and asked him to lie to his wife.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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