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5th January 2019

Naked Attraction looking for new contestants—here’s how to apply (mirror.co.uk).

Anna Richardson on the Naked Attraction with bare contestants, Naked Attraction, image: © Channel 4 via Mirror article
Image: © Channel 4 via Mirror article
The [Channel 4] dating show matches up potential couples by allowing them to pick their partner by looking at nothing but the other person’s privates.

The show which debuted back in 2016 stripping dating down to reductionist bellend and meat curtains returning at an undefined as yet date later this year with presenter Anna Richardson being the one who gets to remain fully clothed throughout while talking cock ’n’ vag with at the time clothed picking contestant—something of a armchair-gripping treat for those with a CFNM/CFNM fetish (Wikipedia)—as those of the six potential dates are revealed by the coloured screens from bottom to top in a reverse exquisite corpse-esque (GoogleTube) manner with fact-filled interludes along the way should picking contestant turn out to have a foot fetish or dislike of hairy chaps, why small balls might make a better daddy and why attraction to mammary glands is a uniquely human obsession.

Applications for the new series are now open but along with needing to supply at least one recent picture of yourself and to fill out the application form requiring of why you wish to be on Naked Attraction, presumably something more potentially entertaining than “I’m an arseman” or “I’d be picking the one with a foot long dong, tee-hee”, you’ll need to be social media vetted:

You’ll also have to provide your social media handles so the Naked Atrraction [sic.] team can have a look at what you post online.

To ensure that along with “being an arseman” you are not also quoting Enoch Powell speeches and voicing #FreeTommyRobinson or giving a RPM for Skype sessions, and reminding just what your real-name online presence really is for you, potential employers and neighbors after you have a falling out.

Aside from the show’s dating reductionist pretense some may feel that a necessary degree of exhibitionism on behalf of contestants is involved too. So…

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