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Whatever’s on my mind really.

A peek at illustration inspiring celebrity sexiness, quirky news stories from inherently pornified pop culture, tips, sketchbook and work in progress, reviews and other things of interest; whatever’s on my mind really—which more fool you if you ever take that seriously.

Latest Picks is a sort of mini-blog for daily thoughts and picks. Longer articles, stories & sketches are found in the full-size blog, where indeed Latest Picks are moved when updates to a story make it too large.

Note: Both Latest Picks and Blog are to be retired at the end of September, although both will remain available indefinitely as an archived part of the site. No further updates to past stories will be made.

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1st May 2020

Mum drinks sperm smoothies to fight off coronavirus (metro.co.uk).

Tracy Kiss holding a tray of semen ice cubes, image: Carters via Metro article
Image: Carters via Metro article

Indeed, a headline that sounds as if it could rather be a PM from Grandpa Danger Heels (Latest Picks 29th Jul. 2019) in some Chapopolis chat room hoping you will oblige indulgence in family fantasy, but instead regards a rather #thirsty 32-year-old vegan mother-of-two:

[Tracy Kiss], a personal trainer from Aylesbury, said: ‘I found a free and vegan-friendly alternative method to boost the body’s immune system. You don’t always know what is in pharmaceutical medicine – it is much better for the body to drink something that doesn’t contain chemicals.

And not listing loss of libido and sexual dysfunction as common side effects as the package insert with many pharmaceutical medication besides analgesics often matter-of-factually do and the sperm donation being from her boyfriend rather than bukakke-esque randoms.

‘It isn’t much different to a mother breastfeeding her newborn to give them the nutrients they need. It isn’t for everyone but it is packed full of vitamins and I haven’t had a cold or flu ever since drinking it in 2017 – I also put it on my face to clear up my skin.’

Presumably the act of adding it to those smoothies aims to make the act less erotisied despite leaving a picture in mind of boyfriend giving the vinegar stroke as he nuts over her boat race to apply a skin cleansing facemask, but with the reality seemingly being more reminiscent of a fap tribute production line:

Tracy continued: ‘It is best to consume semen as close to production as possible to get the most nutrients and benefits.

‘But I often store it in the freezer in an ice cube tray as my partner, who does not wish to be named, and I are in a long distance relationship.

The LDR abiding social distancing guidelines with her popping an icecub of of his jizz into a glass to thaw before adding bananas and berries.

Tracy believes semen consumption will prevent coronavirus as she leads an active, healthy lifestyle and the supplement has helped her immune system.
Taylor Swift—Facial Shock #1

And giving hope that the phone may ring or PM may arrive for those eager to volunteer a tribute donation for someone:

‘It is just another natural remedy but completely free – you don’t have to have a partner, you could just ask a male friend who is healthy.

That semen facials and protein mouth shakes are good for skin and vitality is held to be a much perpetuated myth which despite giving Cosmo much copy has largely been stratagem learnt in the school playground for young chaps to get blowjobs and give a “money shot” (thedailybeast.com, Mar. 2015).

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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