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Pick of the week

Pick of the week

3rd December 2012

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Here's my pick of last weeks best quirky stories and pictures.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and were likely the only thing a psychic saw coming.

No responsibility is taken for the content of any external websites to which links may lead. All links are verified safe with McAfee Site Advisor when posted.

This weeks stories & pics

Lindsay Loves You Too!
Liz & Dick got only 3.5 million viewers and sparked thousands of Twitter jibes. Yeah, sure, Lindsay loves you too.
Mariah Carey's Christmas cans

Mariah Carey's breasts want you to know it's (almost) Christmas (

You can catch bigger pictures of Mimi's Christmas cans here (

Mariah slipping a huge Christmas nipple in pic 7.

Adriana Lima pregnant in Pirelli Calendar

Coveted, exclusive and not for sale, the 2013 Pirelli Calendar is surprising—not a nipple in sight and a pregnant Adriana Lima! (

The photographer Steve McCurry is well-known as a documentary photojournalist—famed for a 1984 National Geographic cover of a young Afghan woman—and for the Pirelli Calendar commission, he took the models to the streets of Brazil, but chose to keep the clothes on.

Related story:

Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories
Pick of the week: illustrated sexy celebrity entertainment and quirky stories

Now it's all about the Lindsay!

Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick

Lindsay Lohan "devastated" after her comeback as Elizabeth Taylor in Liz & Dick got only 3.5 million viewers and sparked thousands of Twitter jibes (

But the truest assessment was made by Nathan Rabin of The A.V. Club who wrote:

"Liz & Dick arrives on the small screen with a giant 'kick me' sign rooted both in Lohan's tabloid infamy and the sad overreaching of trying to chronicle an epic love affair that unfolded across continents and decades on a tiny television movie budget."

At least Lady Gaga showed support, as did her equally troubled warlock Scary Movie 5 co-star Charlie Sheen, who "gallantly" paid $100K to her tax bill ( but then spent the next couple of weeks bitching that she hadn't "thanked" him (

The film's costume designer faced his own problem outfitting Lindsay for the role (

"Anytime something was going wrong, I'd just pull out more jewelry and say, 'Look, something sparkly, something sparkly!' That usually placated her."

The irony is that I think he said that with a straight face too.

Sadly, things were just to get worse for Lindsay, who, with her probation in serious danger of being revoked, was days after arrested for assault after fighting with a female in a New York City nightclub (

And of course, it was all over a boy ( …

Or was just that she was drunk, on vodka bender when she allegedly punched a Florida psychic (

Punched a psychic? I guess she didn't see that one comming! I know, I know, but it has to be said.

Updated 23rd December 2012.
Lindsay finally thanked Tiger Blood for his booking handout.
Updated 3rd December 2012.
The Wanted's Max George claims the fight wasn't over him and it appears LiLo slugged the psychic and called her a gypsy after she lent in to give her a premonition she had experienced about her. Read it (
Was any lucky heather involved one must ask.

In all, a pretty disastrous week for LiLo, but click here if you need a reminder of what we like about Lindsay (

And Lindsay Lohan being queen of the wardrobe malfunction, here's a rather wet looking panty cameltoe upskirt (

Related stories:

Lindsay Lohan filmed a sex scene with Charlie Sheen (Pick of the Week, 17th September).
Britney Spears screams and shouts

Britney Spears steals the show in dance video for (

Here's the video (

Kim Kardashian wants a reality-royal wedding

Kim Kardashian wants a Kate Middleton-style "reality-royal" wedding (

I thought she already had one to that basketball chap. Perhaps she sat on the paper crown at that one.

Kim Kardashian enjoying a slurp opening Millions of Milkshakes in Kuwait

Here's Kimbo looking rather … frothy at the Millions Of Milkshakes opening at Avenue Mall in Kuwait City (, a visit to the dinar desert where she had to give protestors a quick sheikh when riot police were called out to decapitate disperse an angry mob (

Related story:

Jennifer Nicole Lee in a micro thong in Miami

Jennifer Nicole Lee was in a micro thong for a shoot in Miami ( …

And gave some extreme see-thru braless pokies!

Info: Jennifer Nicole Lee (
Nicole Scherzinger gave an upskirt in London

Nicole Scherzinger gave an upskirt in London (

Megan Fox shows off her svelte post-pregnancy body

Megan Fox shows off her svelte post-pregnancy body! (

You can catch those post baby body shots, and her vanishing manic-Marilyn tattoo, in HQ here (

Related story:

Shhh! Megan Fox gave birth in secret (Pick of the Week, 23rd October).
Girls with guns in the Hot Shots calendar

Love girls with phallic symbols guns? Rosie Jones, Holly Peers, India Reynolds are glamour hotties in Hot Shots 2013 Calendar (

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Sophie Turner waits for a taxi

This is how Australian model Sophie Turner waits for a taxi (

She sure as hell won't have to wait long! ♥

Anthea Page net naked for Treats!

Austrailian model Anthea Page got net naked for Treats! magazine (

Info: Anthea Page (

It's always tennis! I play badmington. What a matter with badmington?

AnnaLynne McCord strikes a lunch break pose

AnnaLynne McCord struck a 90210 lunch break pose ( …

And obviously wanted more! And so do I, so do I! ♥ (

Updated 11th December.
Pictures link changed.
Rita Ora at British Fashion Awards

Rita Ora showed some massive cleavage at the British Fashion Awards (

Related story:

Rita Ora slipped a nipple at the Red Bull Culture Clash (Pick of the Week, 12th November).

Arts, tech. & funnies

Madonna's Blond Ambition tour corset at Christie's Pop Culture auction

Madonna's bustier and Britney's corset at Christie's Pop Culture auction (

Marlene Dumas' "Amy Blue"

Marlene Dumas' Amy Winehouse portrait acquired by National Portrait Gallery (

"No larger than an A4 sheet of paper, it is a closely-cropped rendition of the singer's face, honing in on her distinctive eye make-up and delicate nose and mouth."

Untitled #263. by Cindy Sherman

Jonathan Jones is seduced by Cindy Sherman's sex pictures (

So, fine art can accept sex, just as long as it's just not sexy, and includes a disarticulated torso with a red-raw willy surgically input at one end with a tampon stuffed hairy minge at the other, just to remind you are going to hell.

Thankfully my faith is restored a few days later when Jonathan tore down the artistic divide between "nude" and naked".

Of course you have to be an old master like Titian to get away with it, else you'll have to use the fig leaf of pregnancy to get away with your painted nudity.

Related stories:

Guy the gorilla a national treasure

He was once one of London's most famous resident, a handsome bachelor with global celebrity status, and now he's back! (

Fifty Shades Of Grey: an XXX Adaptation

Fifty Shades of Grey porn rip-off spurs legal action (

Universal, which has bought the film rights of the trilogy, claimes the Smash Pictures porno adaption is a rip-off stating "The first XXX adaptation is not a parody, and it does not comment on, criticise, or ridicule the originals".

If you are curious, it's currently listed as unavailable at Amazon.

Related story:

Wacom Inkling

Wacom Inkling updated for Adobe CS6 and SketchBook Pro 6 (

I raved about this on Twitter last year when I was still on there. Has it been a good seller? Well, it's actually not quite as accurate as you'd like, so don't pack up your regular Wacom just yet.

Camille Paglia claims Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith one of the greatest works of art

Controversial dissident feminist and social critic Camille Paglia claims Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith one of the greatest works of art in recent history (

No blasters! No blasters! Camille's writing has a penchant for argumentum ad hominem ("at the person") to rouse heated debate so perhaps this is more to raise the temperature of the original trilogy old-guard so she can swoop down on Fett's jetpack and poke them in the cods with Anakin's phallus lightsaber while they stampede Banthas in their fury.

Info: Camille Paglia (

Related stories:

Disney bought Star Wars. Nooooooo! (Pick of the Week, 6th November).

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Tags: Adriana Lima, Amy Winehouse, AnnaLynne McCord, Anthea Page, Britney Spears, Camille Paglia, Cindy Sherman, Fifty Shades of Grey, Holly Peers, India Reynolds, Jennifer Nicole Lee, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Megan Fox, Nicole Scherzinger, Rita Ora, Rosie Jones, Sophie Turner.


Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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