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The Duke and Duchess of Sussex to step back as senior royals (Page 1 of 3)

9th January 2020

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Prince Harry and Meghan to step back as senior royals (

Duke and Duchess of Sussex (waving): “Ta ta.”

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have announced they will step back as “senior” royals and work to become financially independent.

In a statement, Prince Harry and Meghan also said they plan to split their time between the UK and North America.

After a growing rift between Ginger Hazza and his brother after a seeming fallout between Megs and Cath (Hazza’s nicknamed for Kate Middleton,, Nov. 2019) of which tabloids on both sides of the pond have devoted endless intruding copy helped by Meghan’s family having something embarrassing to publicly say about everything, and the decision coming after “after many months of reflection and internal discussion” according to a statement released on their official Instagram account and a polished new website produced by the same Toronto-based Canadian company that created Meghan’s now defunct lifstyle blog, The Tig ( perhaps suggesting Canada might be the part of North America they have in mind.

The BBC understands no other royal—including the Queen or Prince William—was consulted before the statement and Buckingham Palace is “disappointed”.

And understood to be somewhat “hurt”, especially after having to banish Andrew to the attic after his “car crash” Newsnight interview had him step back from his royal duties at the end of last last year (updated 20th November 2019) and no doubt leaving former Kipper Skipper Henry “stiff” Bolton’s young somewhat racist girlfriend Jo Marney feeling her she’ll “taint” the Royal Family claim has been vidicated (, Jan. 2018) leaving her positively beaming while pulling him off off through the fly hole of his “Do it for Britain” Y-fronts:

BATTLE ROYALE Queen ‘deeply upset’ at Harry & Meghan’s Royal exit sparking ‘civil war’—with Charles & Wills ‘incandescent with rage’ (

Doubtless with Sir, Pa, Grandpa’s (, Nov. 2019) choice of words replacing his usual fecundity boosting cooing leading to some severally traumatised hostas while watering today.

A senior source said: “Their statement was not cleared with anyone. It breaks all protocol. This is a declaration of war on the family.”

But with Blighty’s favourite red-top tabloid seemingly forcing their chagrined hand:

“The plan was there to discuss it and work out a way that works for everyone in the family.”

But when Harry and Meghan found out The Sun was breaking the story, they wanted to rush out a statement immediately.

Leading to Mama Brenda having to send Cath a “warmer” and more eulogisery than normal message on her birthday today ( and with The Current Bun eager to reveal that despite that stated desire to become semi-autonimous and “financially independent” Hazza and Megs wish to keep the Wind-in-the-Willows-esque Frogmore Cottage on the Windsor Estate and continue to have their security bill paid for by the taxpayer along with keeping their titles as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, perhaps inevitably leading to the soon-to-be-American-living alt-royals being invited to have reality TV dinner with Uncle Sam’s own royalty the Kardashian-Jenner’s with a Kendall/Kylie/Meghan (Don’t)DropOne clothing collection (, 22 Feb. 2017) and Hazza modeling black leather jodhpurs designed by Kimmie’s rapping tailor now experiencing the rapture (, Nov. 2019) beau Kanye West to follow.

And keen to stymie tabloids from stirring the royal pot and insinuate Megs’ favourite avocado snack is fueling all sorts of Mexican abuse and horror ( not involving her expat dad staging be fitted for a cheap suit by paps in Rosarito:

Meghan and Harry will no longer participate in the ‘Royal Rota’ media system (

The Royal Rota system (Wikipedia) on the whole responsible for unified announcement and response from “The Firm”, with “press pool” media representatives invited to attend events with the understanding that the news and photographs taken at the event will be freely shared with other members of the media, thus ensuring there is no publication favouratism when news is released.

One overriding issue with the Royal Rota in its current form is that “it predates the dramatic transformation of news reporting in the digital age”, as the Sussexes point out on their website. When the rota was implemented more than 40 years ago, print publications and broadcast outlets were the primary source of news; now of course, digital acceleration has transformed the way we share and consume information.

Which Megs and Hazza have broken directly via their use of social media allowing any media organisation in the world to report on it directly without having to wait for an official word, and their beef being that “credible sources” presumably including those on the rota are assumed to be credible sources regards the hearsay and gossip of their private life too.

“This misconception propels coverage that is often carried by other outlets around the world, amplifying frequent misreporting,” [the Sussex‘s statement] states. “Regrettably, stories that may have been filed accurately by royal correspondents are, also, often edited or rewritten by media editorial teams to present false impressions.” It’s likely Meghan and Harry’s hope that by working directly with other media organisations of their choosing, they’ll be able to have more control over this misreporting.

Pointing out that they have already already worked directly with publications such as National Geographic and Time Magazine and seemingly suggesting they are quite happy to discuss their charity operations with such but somewhat more snooty regarding that which now patriotically Tory voting Workington man might read before not going coal mining detailing what pot stirring rude texting about Wombat Wills the maid might have saw on Hazza’s phone or stateside what papa Markle might have once found under Meg’s bed.

Updated 10th January 2020

And with Madame Tussauds swiftly shifting Hazza and Megs waxworks to a cupboard ( and Megs jetting off to be with lil’ Archie in seeming new adopted home Canada but with “talks” supposedly underway to find a solution before Hazza joins her, the pop stirring continues with Kipper cheering right wing middle-market tabloid the Daily Express as eager as ever to spark an impromptu duel between Hazza and Wills with candelabra and fire poker should they meet:

Kate Middleton snub: Meghan & Harry LEAVE OUT Kate as they list royals they will work with (

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex took to Instagram moments after releasing a statement that announced they would quit as senior members of the royal family and divide their time between North America and the UK—coming the day after returning from a six-week break in Canada. They listed royals they would continue to work with such as Prince William, the Queen, Prince Charles and “all relevant parties”. Kate, 37, did not make that list.

Although the actual list in the statement made reference to “The Prince of Wales, The Duke of Cambridge and all relevant parties” so perhaps as much indicative of the monarchy’s archaic patriarchy rather than deliberate snub with no mention of Gladys (, May 2019), the Duchess of Cornwall either.

And daytime telly vox pop further convincing Jo Marney that her taint is being validated as “stiff” Bolton delays cumming only long enough to finish his stimulating tale of lifting the white man’s burden as Inspector Bolton-Knacker for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office in Afghanistan:

This Morning guest Derek slated for ‘racist’ comments amid Harry and Meghan news (

With “angry resident Derek” giving silver vixen presenter on the prowl Alice Beer one of his presumably many personal opinions:

He said he had given it “two-and-a-half years” before this would have happened, and blamed this on Meghan being a “Yank”.

Alice called out Derek for his comment, but Derek replied: “No personal opinions are what people think—she’s the second American we know what happened with the first.”

Although thankfully rather than Wallis Simpson loving, crown abdicating Edward VIII having tea with Adolf (rather than George VI who took up the crown, as Derek would have it with The Star failing to indicate his err), Hazza and Megs will more likely be having tea with Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, who will hopefully not be in blackface (, Sept. 2019).

Updated 11th January 2020

Queen calls family meeting over Harry and Meghan’s decision to quit royal life (

The Duke of Sussex, the Prince of Wales and the Duke of Cambridge have all been invited to attend the talks at the monarch’s Sandringham estate in Norfolk.

With it reported that Mama Brenda has given a 72 hour ultimatum for the pair’s future roles but is ready to let Hazza and Megs step back from official duties but continue to receive royal funding (, likely making steam shoot from vox pop Derek above’s ears but still leave tabloids eager to give copy to the melee with at hand coat stand and Fulton umbrella that breaks out when Ginger Hazza and balding Wombat Wills meet eye-to-eye in the estate’s hallway on Monday.

Updated 13th January 2020

And after Hazza and Wills jointly condemned an “offensive and potentially harmful” claims of brotherly bullying in a “false story” by The Times ( ahead of the family meeting:

Queen agrees ‘transition’ for Harry and Meghan (

But hopefully not with the same “bloody hell have we done” cognisance that the Brexit transition period is likely soon to prompt.

[The Queen] said it had been agreed there would be “a period of transition in which the Sussexes will spend time in Canada and the UK” after Harry and Meghan “made clear that they do not want to be reliant on public funds in their new lives”.

Saying in statement that: “Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working members of the Royal Family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family.”

Updated 14th January 2020

But following reports that Canadian PM Justin Trudeau has already promised the Queen that Canada and its taxpayers as members of the Commonwealth will help pay for the Hazza and Megs security the Mail seemingly can’t help draw analogy with Brexit too:

Justin Trudeau’s finance minister says government has NOT decided if Canada will cover $1.7m security costs for Megxit—after Queen says Harry and Meghan can split time between there and the UK (

There have been concerns that the large cost of providing security for Harry and Meghan could lead to a backlash in Canada and damage the status of the monarchy there.

With many of those either Canadian taxpayers or St. Petersburg factory trolls making their feelings known on social media and in comments section regards why they should pick up the tab rather than it coming out of the couple’s own suggested £43m fortune—although The Evening Standard and its surprise former chancellor editor places it more around £33m (

And with regards fears they may find themselves profiteering on their title, the Celebsville town crier reports that a “yankee” has seemingly already beat them to it:


Doesn't look like anyone’s fighting ’em for the brand in England, but it ain’t gonna be so easy for ’em stateside thanks to a guy named Joel Fogelson … who’s already filed an application to own “Sussex Royal” in America.

But Joel, with a “background is in intellectual property”, states that he filed it it because “he saw it was available, and simply couldn’t believe it” and that he’d happily “hand it over” for free, the publicity itself presumably worth his outlay, but that if they don’t he plans to use “Susex Royal” to launch himself a consulting business with regards the importance of having a solid business plan.

Next page

Next page: With tabloid indignation at presumably middle-aged and senior white Brits being called racist and bigots, Ginger Hazza makes first public appearance and the Queen announces the couples will drop HRH titles and desire to repay the £2.4m taxpayer-funded Frogmore Cottage home renovation, Megs makes her Disney debut narrating elephants and the couple withdraw co-operation with tabloids refusing to “offer themselves up as currency for an economy of click bait and distortion”.

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