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A peek at illustration inspiring celebrity sexiness, quirky news stories from inherently pornified pop culture, tips, sketchbook and work in progress, reviews and other things of interest; whatever’s on my mind really—which more fool you if you ever take that seriously.

Latest Picks is a sort of mini-blog for daily thoughts and picks. Longer articles, stories & sketches are found in the full-size blog, where indeed Latest Picks are moved when updates to a story make it too large.

Note: Both Latest Picks and Blog are to be retired at the end of September, although both will remain available indefinitely as an archived part of the site. No further updates to past stories will be made.

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16th May 2020

Having been using her live-one hour camgirl show on CamSoda last month to raise aid for the coronavirus pandemic (mirror.co.uk, Apr. 2020):

Boy Meets World star Maitland Ward makes male sex toys modelled on her vagina (mirror.co.uk).

The Maitland Ward Fleshlights, Instagram
(Instagram)

Or rather Fleshlight did, the non-nonsense ex cop’s company making a whole range of devices for discreet sperm collection supposedly not looking out of place in your garage (thrillist.com, Jan. 2016).

One of the toys will be modelled on Maitland’s vagina, while another will be made to look just like her bottom, and both will feature textured insides to provide pleasure to the men using them.

With Maitland waxing lyrical about joining the Texas-based company’s “Fleshlight family” made to resemble the vulva, anus—or “bottom” as the Mirror less precisely termed—or mouth of pornographic actresses and actors (fleshlight.eu) seemingly with her OnlyFans asking for a toy line for a long time:

Maitland said: “When it comes to adult products for men, nobody does it better than Fleshlight.

“I’ve resisted partnering with toy companies, but Fleshlight has an unbeatable reputation.

“No one else brings the level of detail, accuracy and pure enjoyment that they do.”

With the promotional material habitually featuring a photograph of model in question holding the ribbed tubulate toy up the with a look on their face undoubtedly saying: “It does indeed look just like my flaps!”

With studios queuing stars up to perform with and all over her to perhaps piggyback on the curiosity lent by the the busty flame-haired 43-year-old’s former mainstream fame, the continual suggestion that she’s come to porn as an upping of the ante after her spell of cosplay nip slipage by lack of options after retiring from acting leaves her on continual guard against haters:

She told the Daily Beast: “When people say, ‘She had to turn to porn’, I laugh, because this is a good thing and I’m making more now.

“If you talked to my younger, more virginal soap-opera self, I never would have seen this coming out of me.”

Indeed, but with all seeing it coming out of more than one orifice now.

Updated 6th June 2020

Maitland Ward Fleshlight
(fleshlight.eu)

And indeed, it being time Toy Meets World time (fleshlight.eu).

Maitland Ward’s Toy Meets World texture will have you ready to plow ahead more than even one of Mr. Feeny’s pep talks. You’ll enter the lady sleeve through two sections of pleasure columns before hitting the tight discs of delight. After that, you’ll be treated to tantalizing ridges and finally two areas of massage beads. Just like Maitland herself, Toy Meets World will bring a smile to your face every time…just without a laugh track.

Although perhaps a laugh tract would be appropriate imaging naked chap trying to lodge it somewhere at the appropriate height so he can bang it standing up.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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