Sensationalist Discovery Channel obviously not recalling the “let it break your fucking arms” social media vexation when daredevil naturalist Paul Rosolie was not as promised eaten head first by a giant anaconda (Pick of the Week 19th Dec. 2014):
“The most decorated Olympian faced his fastest opponent in the water and people on Twitter were not happy about it. Michael Phelps raced against a simulated Great White shark in a highly anticipated television program to kick off Discovery Channel’s annual Shark Week. … As it became clear Phelps wasn’t swimming against a real Great White, viewers took to Twitter to show their disappointment and confusion by the program. … Marissa Ruda wrote: ‘I wasted an hour of my life to watch Michael Phelps race a hologram’. ‘Call me crazy but I thought they were gonna put Phelps up against a real shark not a simulation. I feel robbed,’ @MegDownSouth said.”
Indeed, if you have ever recalled thinking “it could never actually happen” when thinking of the “Climbing for Dollars” game show advert in 1987’s The Running Man with chap struggling up a rope to grab cash—and survival—with a pack of snarling hounds beneath him when a a jet of aimed steam delivers him to them then, yeah, think again, Twitter audience would love it: “Aww, come on, I demand to see it bite him in two, damnit!”
But, in alien to novelty craving social media expectations reality:
“Scientists gathered data from actual sharks, including a Hammerhead and a reef shark, and then used the data to create simulated sharks that Phelps swam against. He swam a few trial runs in open water against the simulated sharks ahead of the big race against the Great White. … The Olympian was given a swimsuit made like the skin of a shark to help him cut through the water faster, and a fin made similar to that of a shark.”
Said Great White being CGI and with no real chance if it crossing lane and completing race with Phelps’ leg hanging of it mighty maw. For sure though, had Phelps had time to roll over and give it that #stankface (celebitchy.com, Aug. 2016) it may may well have thought twice.
If perhaps you felt “cheated” then doubtless you’d feel even more so than the average viewer tuning in to BBC’s Homes Under the Hammer when realising renovation isn’t carried out in real time with current occupants and a sledgehammer.
Recent/related stories
- Yep, daredevil naturalist allowed himself to be swallowed alive by an anaconda for Discovery Channel! (Pick of the Week 19th December 2014)
Share this story