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Whatever’s on my mind really.

A peek at illustration inspiring celebrity sexiness, quirky news stories from inherently pornified pop culture, tips, sketchbook and work in progress, reviews and other things of interest; whatever’s on my mind really—which more fool you if you ever take that seriously.

Latest Picks is a sort of mini-blog for daily thoughts and picks. Longer articles, stories & sketches are found in the full-size blog, where indeed Latest Picks are moved when updates to a story make it too large.

Note: Both Latest Picks and Blog are to be retired at the end of September, although both will remain available indefinitely as an archived part of the site. No further updates to past stories will be made.

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8th March 2015

Poldark: does a period drama need a shirtless man? (telegraph.co.uk).

Poldark star Aidan Turner getting the brush-off from a crew member in this behind-the-scenes shot

Probably not, but…

“When viewers tune in to the BBC’s new adaptation of Poldark, they will see rather a lot of its leading man. Aidan Turner, the eponymous star, is featured in the standard 21st century beefcake poses: bathing naked in a lake, and shirtless in a field with a sheen of sweat on his ripped, muscular frame.”

So, of course, those who remember the original TV adaption from the 1970s are “shocked”.

“[Robin Ellis, the original, dashing Poldark] captured the hearts and minds of a generation of women without stripping off for the cameras, and fondly recalled an era in which an ‘ordinary bloke’ could become a heart-throb.”

Sounding like the often made repudiation of today’s “highly sexualised” society, but…

“‘Poldark wasn’t nearly as sexy as audiences like to believe,’ said Ellis, who is now 73 and has given the new show his blessing. He appears in a cameo role. … ‘I did take my white frilly shirt off on-screen—I was washing, I think—but it only happened the once in 29 episodes. ‘The morning after it was screened, I went to my local launderette as usual and handed my clothes in for a service wash. The Eastern European woman who always did my washing stood there, shaking her head in disappointment, wagging her finger at me and saying, ‘Big mistake,’ so I didn’t do it again,’ he laughed.”

But said Eastern European washer woman was still likely talking about it throughout the 80s and had it on freeze-frame on Betamax. Seriously, things change: any woman joining social media today is likely to see more bare chested male selfies than she can shake a can of Daz detergent at, and good god, ya’ know, some look. On purpose. Blimey!

The “bodice ripper”—a sexually explicit romantic novel, usually in a historical setting and always with a plot involving the seduction of the heroine—read back then simply won’t cut it in today’s 50s Shades; and if that sort of womans-interest romance bodice rippin’ romp is to remain current and indeed fulfill its intended role—to anyone other than said Eastern European washer woman—it just suprises me he doesn’t swing his blunderbuss out too.

Updated 6th April 2015

As the world swoons over Poldark’s abs, Huff Post’s Rachel Moss asks “Where are all the plus-size men in media? (huffingtonpost.co.uk).

“Last month, Jamie Dornan fever swept the nation. Now, it seems to be Aidan Turner’s turn to be ogled. Topless pictures of the star of new BBC drama Poldark have been everywhere this week, with many journalists focussing on Turner’s appearance, just as much as his acting. … But what effect is constantly seeing images of the likes of Jamie Dornan and Aidan Turner having on the nation’s ‘average’ men?”

Probably the same effect as such images have on “average” females—for good and for bad—as, you see, it really isn’t just females that feel obectified but that, many of both sexes, plus-size or average or not, are quite happy with the fantasy portrayal.

“In the past year, we’ve seen more and more plus-size women represented in the media. … But plus-size male models are nowhere to be seen in mainstream media.”

But we do have an abundance of them in detective and cookery programming.

“Rivkie Baum, editor of plus-size magazine SLiNK tells HuffPost UK Lifestyle: ‘I hear from my male friends how, while we openly discuss the challenges women face in terms of body acceptance and a diverse range of role models, and assume that men have it easy, it is in fact a much unspoken issue.’”

But are males expected to be model, abs-sculpted pretty?

“Professor Damien Ridge of the University of Westminster tells us male body image is no laughing matter. ‘We expect men to be tough, manly and not vain, so we can sometimes be surprised to hear men are sensitive about their bodies,’ he says. ‘But why shouldn’t men be concerned about body image, given that there’s so much focus on the male body in the media? … They put men under pressure from a young age, suggesting they need to be lean in terms of fat, but also to have a very muscular body.’”

Indeed, it isn’t just females that get more friends and attention on Instagram or Twitter by lifting their top.

Updated 30th March 2015

BBC’s #AskPoldark descends into farce as Aidan Turner swamped with indecent proposals (telegraph.co.uk).

“ Turner, who plays Ross Poldark in the period drama, appeared on Twitter straight after the fourth episode of the programme to speak directly to his fans. Using the hastag #AskPoldark, the BBC invited fans from around the world to ask him questions about the show, his career and perhaps the fine art of acting. Instead, he found himself swamped with lustful fans, who were more interested in his hair, chest and sex life.”
#AskPoldark Twitter

Updated 9th March 2015

Poldark, episode 1, review: “glossy but empty-headed” (telegraph.co.uk).

“Aside from the odd stray bullet and a couple of brawls, there was precious little to justify Poldark’s post-watershed positioning. Bodices remained primly unripped. Sex was strictly for the slatternly lower orders: Phil Davis and Beatie Edney as a loamy pair of servants were often to be found in whatever the Cornish is for flagrante delicto.”

Whatever the Cornish is for flagrante delicto? I don’t know either, but I bet it’s in a pasty. So there you go, “pretty, but without a thought in its head.” All those chaps sucking teeth and muttering things about trite romantic “mommy porn” rubbish can retire with satisfaction to read the latest issue of Nuts.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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