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Whatever’s on my mind really.

A peek at illustration inspiring celebrity sexiness, quirky news stories from inherently pornified pop culture, tips, sketchbook and work in progress, reviews and other things of interest; whatever’s on my mind really—which more fool you if you ever take that seriously.

Latest Picks is a sort of mini-blog for daily thoughts and picks. Longer articles, stories & sketches are found in the full-size blog, where indeed Latest Picks are moved when updates to a story make it too large.

Note: Both Latest Picks and Blog are to be retired at the end of September, although both will remain available indefinitely as an archived part of the site. No further updates to past stories will be made.

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30th June 2017

Woman found guilty of posing as a man to trick friend into sex at new trial (

Gayle Newland Courteney Strap-on Cox
“A woman has been convicted of impersonating a man over two years in an ‘astonishing deception’ to trick her female friend into sex. Gayle Newland created a ‘disturbingly complex’ online persona to achieve her own ‘bizarre sexual satisfaction’, Manchester Crown Court heard.”

A “bizarre sexual satisfaction” to go with that “disturbingly complex” online persona probably not a million miles away from that found logged on at any hour of the day or night in Moose ’n’ Buck’s Gorean bondage ManOChat, but with a real woman—although one with a strap on penis rather than curious Tim just pretending it’s “Stephanie’s” (Latest Picks 20th April 2017) abnormally sized clit poked through virtual truck stop basement glory hole when not writing multiple “perfect woman, full of life and laughter” definitions for his hose wearing alter ego’s nomenclative definition (

“Newland convinced her friend she was a man by putting on a deep voice and using a blindfold throughout a dozen sexual encounters during a two-year relationship with the victim, the court heard. Her victim said she had been made to wear the blindfold at all times the pair were together, even while they sunbathed and ‘watched’ a film at her flat. She told the court she only realised her partner was a woman when she pulled her blindfold off during sex and saw it was her friend wearing a strap-on penis.”

“Watched” presumably being like “watching” that film in the back row at the cinema, with a plastic nob in mouth.

“Newland claimed her accuser always knew she was pretending to be Kye Fortune—a Facebook profile she created at the age of 15 using an American man’s photographs and videos—as they engaged in role play while struggling with their sexuality.

“She said no blindfold was used as they had sex on about 10 occasions at the complainant’s flat in Chester in 2013.”

Updated 20th July 2017

Gayle Newland jailed for using prosthetic penis to trick friend into sex (

“A jury at Manchester Crown Court last month found Newland, from Willaston in Cheshire, guilty of committing sexual assault by using a £20 prosthetic penis without her blindfolded victim’s consent, following a retrial. … she crouched in the dock and wept as she received concurrent terms of six years for three counts of sexual assault in 2013. Newland received a further sentence of six months to be served consecutively for defrauding her former employers of £9,000 by creating fake client profiles at the internet advertising agency while she was on bail.”

As it turns out her latest victim wasn’t the first to fall for her “half-Filipino half-Latino athletic young man” or similar ruse requiring a blindfold because he “was undergoing treatment for cancer and was paranoid about his physical appearance”:

“Newland was jailed for eight years in November 2015 after she was convicted of the same offences by another jury at Chester Crown Court. But the conviction was quashed in the Court of Appeal last December and a retrial ordered after it was ruled the trial judge’s summing up of the case was not fair and balanced.”

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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