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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

22nd November 2013

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and deffo supporting that new fashion trend!

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Last weeks best stories & pics

Iggy Azalea MTV EMAs in Amsterdam oops

Iggy Azalea gave some oops exposure at MTV EMAs in Amsterdam (mailonsunday.co.uk).

“The outfit had a giant split up the front which Iggy pulled to one side … [exposing] a little too much as she only had tiny flesh-coloured pants on underneath….”
Iggy Azalea MTV EMAs in Amsterdam oops

You can catch Iggy’s Amsterdam EMA oops piccies here (egotastic.com)…

Iggy Azalea MTV EMAs in Amsterdam oops

And plenty of tongue! (celebritytonguedigest
.blogspot.co.uk)

Recent/related stories:

Iggy Azalea sexed up her routine at Radio 1Xtra Live (Pick of the Week, 17th October)
Miley Cyrus, one of the biggest feminist in the world?

Miley Cyrus claimed she’s “one of the biggest feminists” (bbc.co.uk).

“I feel like I'm one of the biggest feminists in the world because I tell women to not be scared of anything….”

But “like, a 108 pound one” with “the flattest ass ever.” I guess (Pick of the Week 2nd October), and one not getting a difficult brown strapon from Sinead O’Connor for Christmas.

It didn’t cut it with Lily Allen either, who saw fit to satirise her twerking and hammer head lickin’ in her “Hard Out Here” comeback video (music.uk.msn.com).

“She mocks everything that is deemed ridiculous in the entertainment industry today, but in a way that is still funny and charismatic and without making her look boring or like a nag.”

Quite, but is Lily’s beef really with the beef-bashing over pop diva performances? Sad truth behind Lily Allen’s controversial return: her clothing firm set up with sister Sarah has gone BUST (dailymail.co.uk).

“…it seems that singer Lily Allen’s successful return to the world of music has come at the perfect time—for her much-hyped bid to become a big name on the high street has ended in failure.”
Lily Allen, “Hard Out Here”

Well, at least that suggestively sucked bananna went satirically nowhere near her elegantly attired bottom (showbizspy.com).

Gabrielle

BRIT Award winning singer Gabrielle saw fit to stand by Miley’s selling-sexuality though (music.uk.msn.com).

“Madonna did it before her, Gaga’s doing it now. Let’s face it, Beyonce, as gorgeous and multi-talented as she is, she’s done a video in her underwear. I didn’t see anyone moaning about that.”

No, nor do I, nor do I! All pop divas can be filmed in their undies and I wont moan a bit—well, not in that way.

Miley Cyrus, MTV Europe Music Awards 2013 in Amsterdam

Here’s Miley giving it some exquisite feminist tongue at the MTV Europe Music Awards 2013 in Amsterdam (hotcelebshome.com).

Updated 25th November 2013.
Lily Allen and Miley Cyrus
“She’s funny, witty and clever, I love what she does. I think her and Lorde’s album have had the most plays in my car this year. I never went on record saying the video was a direct pop at her—it wasn’t. … She’s probably way too busy for someone like me but yeah, I’d welcome the opportunity to work with her.”

Nods.

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus would rather be naked than cry (Pick of the Week, 7th November)
Selena Gomez, X-Factor

Selena Gomez performed on the X-Factor in Hollywood (hawtcelebs.com).

Recent/related stories:

Selena Gomez gave bikini candids in Miami (Pick of the Week, 7th November)
Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire premiere in Paris

Jennifer Lawrence gave side boob at The Hunger Games: Catching Fire premiere in Paris (hotcelebshome.com).

Recent/related stories:

2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Taylor Swift, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Taylor Swift kicked off Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in a Union flag-print top hat and mini-dress on the catwalk (dailymail.co.uk)…

With the Daily Mail gushing:

“The country-pop starlet—who turns 24 next month—paraded her lean 5ft 10in frame in the paint-splattered costume and matching open-toe booties.”

Before splattering it with a copious coating of something else.

Taylor Swift, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Here’s more of Taylor’s lean 5ft 10in frame in splattered Union flag-print top hat and mini-dress and otherwise (hotcelebshome.com).

Taking to the runway…

Karlie Kloss, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Karlie Kloss (imgcelebs.info)…

Behati Prinsloo, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Behati Prinsloo

Candice Swanepoel, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Candice Swanepoel

Lais Ribeiro, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Lais Ribeiro

Cara Delevingne, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Cara Delevingne.

Cara Delevingne, Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

And we’ll pull out this one of Cara from the above just… just because I have an obvious liking for football those are nice shorts.

Adriana Lima, backstage at Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Here’s those models and more backstage (hotcelebshome.com).

Updated 12th December 2013.
Cara Delevingne, backstage tongue Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal Bebe’s Spring 2014 campaign oops

Oops! Nina Agdal slipped a tittie for Bebe’s Spring 2014 campaign (imgcelebs.info).

Recent/related stories:

Nina Agdal got topless for Euroman (Pick of the Week, 30th July)
Nina Agdal butt-naked Esquire photoshoot (Pick of the Week, 21st May)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Taylor Swift—pussy flash
Taylor Swift certainly knows how to kick off an event!
Kim Kardashian’s ass in tight skirt

Bad angle, bad light or Kim Kardashian’s ass grew an ass of its own (thesuperficial.com).

Recent/related stories:

Aubrey O’Day Instagram crack

Aubrey O’Day posted crack to Instagram (thesuperficial.com).

Recent/related stories:

Aubrey O’Day gave burlesque booty (Pick of the Week, 8th April)
Aubrey O’Day pulled her pants down on Twitter (Pick of the Week, 6th November 2012)
Iggy Azalea giving side bum

Side bum is fashion’s new trend (style.uk.msn.com).

“Forget last year’s ‘side boob’ phenomenon—the hottest part of the body to flash right now is the derrière.”
Side Boob Hour

Last year’s? Oh, c’mon, side boob has been trending a lot longer than that (funnyjunk.com).

Recent/related stories:

Myleene Klass

I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here installed jungle power showers which can “blow the babes’ bikinis off” (dailystar.co.uk).

“The producers told me ‘We want enough water to blow the girls’ bikinis off’.”

Moving out of the jungle and into Butlins Pig and Whistle next year.

Recent/related stories:

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Cambridge University Rear of the Year competition

Cambridge University students stage their own Rear of the Year competition (web.orange.co.uk).

“Five women and five men were photographed from behind for the competition, which is decided by their peers voting online.”

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga ARTPOP logomark, USA Today

Lady Gaga and Jeff Koons logomark on USA Today (digitalartsonline.co.uk).

“The mark was apparently designed by the pop star and artist Jeff Koons, who created Artpop’s cover artwork, in conjunction with the paper’s art team.”

Recent/related stories:

“Three Studies of Lucian Freud” by Francis Bacon

Francis Bacon fetched record price at auction (bbc.co.uk)…

“The triptych, Three Studies of Lucian Freud (1969), is considered one of Bacon’s greatest masterpieces.”
“Three Studies of Lucian Freud” by Francis Bacon

Mightily impressing The Guardian’s Jonathan Jones (theguardian.com).

“Lucian Freud sits in Bacon’s despairing, yet monstrously vital universe, his face taken apart and remade by Bacon’s brush. He poses in a white shirt, moving about, full of energy. For both of them art is an act of cruel love. You take someone apart on the canvas to know them from the inside.”
Updated 29th November 2013.
“Sheikha Mayassa bint Hamad al-Thani, the sister of Qatar’s emir … who heads the Qatar Museums Authority (QMA) and has a reputation for paying large sums at auctions to guarantee the winning bid, was named yesterday as the buyer by The New York Post….”

Obviously a huge fan of ludicrously expensive status symbols Francis Bacon. Will now create a (wo)man-made island shaped like the middle figure in “Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion” visible from space to house it.

Recent/related stories:

Pulse by Hot Octopuss

Give in to the Dark Side with your very own guybrator (wired.co.uk).

“Pulse is based on something called Penile Vibratory Stimulation (PVS), … the device itself can only be described as looking like a Darth Vader helmet for your, er, helmet.”

I dunno; “oscillations applied in a very specific way” sounds a bit like you might be left with a quizzical expression having spraying the ceiling before you’ve leant forward to hit the play button on media player. The designer sees it as more of a “lifestyle product” anyway:

“…he believes that there may be a demand for customised sex toys, incorporating, for example, football club insignia.”

There you go, let the world know you got it on for West Ham!

Recent/related stories:

Sex toys help singers hit the high notes (Pick of the Week, 1st April)
Strip club owner buys a house next door to his to flip-off ex-wife and lover with statue

Strip club owner buys a house next door to his to flip-off ex-wife and lover with statue (dailymail.co.uk).

“How psychotic do you have to be to buy the house directly next to your ex wife and then put a statue up like that?!?!”

A rather confused story there, and a rather tiny picture: here’s that hand flippin’ the bird a lil’ larger.

Strip club owner and“Topless Prophet” Markovitz—who has been shot twice, had a Mob contract out on his life, been sued by exotic dancers and had an ex-girlfriend drive her Pontiac Fiero through the front door of one of his clubs—is certainly flippin’ it at someone, but

Alan Markovitz
“I’m so over her,” Markovitz said “This is about him. This is about him not being a man.”

“Him” being the man (or not) with whom his ex-wife/former employee/topless dancing property of two years cheated with.

When a friend of said maybe-a-man tweeted that Markovitz’s gesture was making him “look like an idiot,” ex-wife’s daughter who’s tweet brought Lenka Tuohy and her mother Lea Tuohy this to the attention of the wider-world concurred:

“Like lol someone’s not over my momma!”

Recent/related stories:

Cockroach backpack app

US company defended its cockroach backpack app (uk.msn.com).

“A US company has defended its decision to develop an ‘electronic backpack’ that fits on the back of a cockroach, allowing the insect’s movements to be controlled by a phone app.”

Yep, a real live roach. Despite sandpaper being used to remove the waxy coating on it head, its antennae being cut and electrodes inserted:

“The company said the cockroaches are treated humanely and that the backpack does not harm them.”

Reely?

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Tags: Aubrey O'Day, Behati Prinsloo, Candice Swanepoel, Cara Delevingne, Iggy Azalea, Jennifer Lawrence, Karlie Kloss, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Lais Ribeiro, Lily Allen, Miley Cyrus, Nina Agdal, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift.