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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

21st October 2014

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and deffo votes for a Deadliest Warrior Cara Vs Nessa tongue fight special on the 31st!

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Pick of the best stories & pics—from the last month or so

Please note: As you may be aware, presently due to family commitments and commissioned work I have had to make Picks of the Week Picks of the Month or so since August. Although hopefully very soon I shall be able to get back a regular Picks of the Week, here’s an extra big bumper edition picks from the last month or so.

Kelly Brook, leaked pic

“The Fappening”, that massive celeb hacked pictures leak fapped on with Kelly Brook, Erin Heatherton, Joanna Krupa, AnnaLynne & Rachel McCord, Daisy Lowe and Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith! (Updates, Pick of the Week 17th September).

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus topless candids, Sydney, Australia

Miley Cyrus, topless balcony sunbathing—bare bum snoozing too! (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus got her puppies out for V (Pick of the Week, 17th September)
Selena Gomez, CR Fashion Book Issue No.5 Launch Party

Selena Gomez gave much cleavage at the CR Fashion Book Issue No.5 Launch Party (celebexposuredigest…

Cara Delevingne, CR Fashion Book Issue No.5 Launch Party

As did Cara Delevingne, with much sideboob too!

Recent/related stories:

Penélope Cruz, Esquire magazine

Penélope Cruz, Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive 2014 (celebexposuredigest

Recent/related stories:

Mariah Carey, Chengdu, China

Mariah Carey, Chengdu upskirt! (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Sarah Hyland, 2nd annual BEAT MS Dance Walk

Modern Family cutie Sarah Hyland gave BEAT MS Dance Walk camel toe—and tongue! (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Nicki Minaj, Club 79 in Paris

Nicki Minaj gave Club 79 underboob (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé’s holiday snap suggest yet another Photoshop mishap

Beyoncé’s holiday snap suggest yet another Photoshop mishap (

“The photo, which shows the star on a yacht celebrating her birthday this month, looks to have been edited as the stairs between her legs are sloped at a diagonal angle. Fans were quick to notice this rather obvious error with many labelling it embarrassing and others questioning why she would feel the need to Photoshop herself.”

Add “again” to the end of that.

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé was On The Run in Miami (Pick of the Week, 30th June)
Chelsea Handler, Twitter

Chelsea Handler popped out a tit on Twitter (celebrityoopsdigest…

Chelsea Handler, peed on by Jason Biggs

And was peed on by Jason Biggs!

Recent/related stories:

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Miley Cyrus getting a Robin Thicke at the 2013 VMAs

Music video age ratings trialled in the UK (

“From Friday, major record companies will begin to submit promos which may potentially cause concerns about content to the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC).”

Yes, you know of course what is going to happen here, don’t you; there will of course now be a race for the first to get an x-rating.

I suppose it has given Flashman a feeling that he’s delivered a killer right hook in the interests of national security, if not to ISIS/ISIL/Caliphate of the tashless beard, then to a pop diva at least.

“Videos by Miley Cyrus and Rihanna have also drawn criticism, and artists such as Annie Lennox have condemned the ‘pornographic’ content of some material presented to younger fans.”
Eurythmics, I Need A Man
Annie Lennox

Which, recalling the 2009 Eurythmics “I Need A Man” video (GoogleTube) with Annie’s boobies slipping out her Marilynesque dress, might strike some in the eye with a kettle suggesting a pop pot be black absorbing light and lacking colour.

Of course, that may just because “there are two kinds of artists left: those who endorse Pepsi and those who simply won’t”, obviously meaning that bending over seductively puts you in mind of a bottle.

“I’m all for freedom of expression, but this is clearly one step beyond, and it’s clearly into the realm of porn.”

Maybe it is a good idea, maybe it will get some pop diva I’m quite keen on even further into that realm of performance, which, with said x-rating, I’ll have no issue with what so ever, indeed, Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of…).

Recent/related stories:

Paul McCarthy, “Tree”

Mon Dieu! Parisians claim city has been “humiliated” by 24ft sculpture that resembles a massive buttplug (

“The artwork, simple entitled ‘Tree’, has raised eyebrows in the French capital because of its uncanny resemblance to a certain type of sex toy.”

Indeed, it does rather resemble one, last seen up Kim Kardashian West’s harris.

A work by enfant terrible American artist Paul McCarthy, it proved a log stopper for some, suggesting someone should have “pulled the plug” on the project, apparently making some eyes water:

“Place Vendome disfigured! Paris humiliated!”

If taken as a suspiciously-shaped Christmas tree as the gallery suggests, it no doubt hints at a raging red ring around for Christmas. But it was all too much:

“Some angry Paris residents now seem to have taken matters into their own hands, with photos posted on Twitter overnight Friday showing the installation lying on its side and looking limp and deflated after apparently being vandalised.”

Recent/related stories:

Sex-toy XXXmas tree turned off Milan city officials (Pick of the Week, 17th December 2013)
revenge porn
Jersey Shore Snooki’s leaks could indeed have defined “revenge porn” for some.

People who post “revenge porn” on internet could face two years in jail with new law in the UK (

“Cruel individuals who publish intimate pictures or videos to retaliate against their former partners will be targeted with the new law, which will also catch those sending explicit photographs in text messages between mobile phones.”

Undoubtedly a “nasty and invasive crime” that is already punishable by a jail term in some countries and states and one that recently published figures show how the UK has struggled to charge offenders in the past (

“The eight police forces in England and Wales that hold data on revenge porn cases show that out of 149 allegations over the last two-and-a-half years, only 6 led to a police caution or charge.”

Which does not surprise me at all. As the recent highly divisive hacked and leaked celebrity snaps “Fappening” highlighted, there has certainly been a sea change in reaction to leaked pics in general, but it certainly graphically illustrated beyond doubt that many, many people take them, and so it must surely be made clear that it not the taking of such images and movies that should be frowned upon, nor the consensual sharing of such by the parties involved.

Although not strictly revenge porn—unless you believe it was indeed a disgruntled tabloid journalist shaking out what he had been keeping as those that authorised the phone and mail tapping of so many narrowly escaped pokey—it is clear the media is keen to play it so, for the sake of story linkage at least. And it has been the case before, with Rihanna leaked pics after her break up and battering with the difficult Chris Brown, the infamous tape of Tulisa Contostavlos—certainly a banana that could not be put back in the box—and very likely the Iggy Azalea sex tape that is currently being shopped about ( for example, all widely believed to have an element of revenge involved, it shows that the difficulty will still be on proving who leaked, and whether it was indeed deliberate or accidental.

And to view?

If indeed, as has been the call by the unfortunate J-Law this time, any who view are also guilty, then at what point on what must surely be a very slippery slope can a line be drawn?

For sure, I suspect a significant amount of “amateur” pics and video clips on many porn forums are not there by consent of those depicted. I mean, with a famous face—and other body parts—the media may have let you know, but would you know if what you are actually viewing in that “hot amatuer pics” thread is what Snapchat blamed third-party apps for hacked leaked photos? (

“Mobile messaging company Snapchat blamed third-party software apps for possible security lapses that may have led to its users’ private photos being at risk of online publication by hackers.”

Will some sort of D.R.M. be required limiting the devices on which such peek treats you send are viewed, or a digital watermark indicating only the eyes for whom it was intended to protect the modesty of those depicted and to ensure conscience consequences of any that view is inescapably, to paraphrase Reddit, the initial viewing source of those leaks for many upon finally pulling the page, “the responsiblity of their own soul?”

Poll: The Fappening—did you look or did soul-searching conscience get the better of you? (Pick of the Week 17th Sept.)

Updated 13th April 2015.
“Posting ‘revenge porn’ images on the web will become a specific offence for the first time under new legislation coming into force on Monday. Under the new crime sharing ‘private, sexual images of someone without consent and with the intent to cause distress’ will carry up to two years’ imprisonment. … Other measures coming into force under the Criminal Justice and Court Act include … increasing the maximum penalty for online ‘trolls’ who send abusive messages to two years imprisonment.”

You certainly notice most sites allowing user submission of wives and girlfriends now require consensual verification, usually in the same form required to get the Twitter tick, holding up an assigned code in a picture etc.

Updated 16th November 2014.
“Revenge porn doesn’t just harm individual victims. It also reinforces dangerous social attitudes about sexual privacy and autonomy. Revenge porn is, among other things, a powerful means for men to punish women for making choices they don’t like. But no one, man or woman, should have to fear that the price of engaging in sexual intimacy will be a ruined life.”

Saying that though, I’ve known a few girls that have posted up piccies of wankers they have encouraged to indulge. Perhaps why chap cams are generally either just an unidentifiable forehead or a penis.

Updated 14th November 2014.
“In this instance, because [he] had threatened his victim and posted multiple pictures of her on social media, a charge of harassment was brought. He pleaded guilty to the offence and has been imprisoned and the victim now has the reassurance of a restraining order that will prevent any further contact.”

Already punishable with a jail term in several US States and Australian territories and likely an eye-opener to the relative stranger you met swearing they would “never do such a thing”.

It was always something of a problem when years ago I assisted illustration, markup and moderation-wise on a videocam chat site—when that sort of thing was in its hey-day—and calling the bluff on some cheeky chap trying to tell female visitors in said sordid chatroom that he has infected them with something and unless they sent him nudies was always all the more harder to contain if unfortunately they already had, and had granny’s Facebook to send them to as well.

Recent/related stories:

Massachusetts banned the taking of upskirt photos (Pick of the Week, 12th March)

.:: Top column 2 ::.
The Snapperning
Pretty much what you expected, really; a bit of this, a bit of that, and a lot of puppies in a cup!
Ariana Grande, DiverCity Tokyo Plaza

Ariana Grande gave Tokyo Plaza panties flash (celebrityoopsdigest…

Ariana Grande, live at Sunrise studios in Sydney

Was a cheeky diva live at Sunrise studios

Ariana Grande, BPM club in New York City

And flashed private party panties at the BPM club in NYC!

Recent/related stories:

Ariana Grande gave KTUphoric panty flashage (Pick of the Week, 8th July)
Precious Muir, London

Brit model/reality star Precious Muir, vehicular no panties upskirt (celebrityoopsdigest

Rita Ora, The Voice

Rita Ora gave The Voice UK promotional tongue (celebritytonguedigest…

Rita Ora, Cirque le Soir nightclub in London

And flaunted fishnet skirted bottom!(cheekypopdivadigest

Recent/related stories:

Rita Ora got a V Festival pearl necklace (Pick of the Week, 22nd August)
Cara Delevingne, Allure Best of Beauty October 2014 issue

Fashions queen of eyebrows Cara Delevingne gave Allure Best of Beauty—naked (celebexposuredigest…

Cara Delevingne, Harrods Cara D for DKNY collection launch

And poked it for DKNY at Harrods (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Vanessa Hudgens, Eyegore Awards Horror Nights

Vanessa Hudgens gave Eyegore Awards Horror Nights pokeage (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Kelly Rowland, Elle

Former Destiny’s Child star Kelly Rowland was naked and pregnant for Elle (celebexposuredigest

Recent/related stories:

Hayden Panettiere took her baby bump to the beach (Pick of the Week, 22nd August)
Tila Tequila was pregnant poolside in Galveston (Pick of the Week, 8th July)
Sam Lutfi, “problem solver” to the stars

“I’m trying to help Amanda Bynes”: Sam Lutfi attempts to clear his name as “problem solver” to the stars in bizarre open letter (

“I am a problem solver, and I care about helping people get out of what may seem like some of their more difficult places in life. Which is why you have seen me associated with some of the more famous celebrities when they are in their most trying hours.”

He also said that “he has no problem being slandered if it helps other people get better.”

Alrighty then, I will hedge my bet that he was likely stuffing handfuls of the blue pills up poor Brit-Brit’s rump ring when he was acting as her “problem solver”. The rotter!

I do, I feel much better now.

Recent/related stories:

Ebola Hazmat suits set to be all the rage for Halloween

Breaking Bad Ebola Hazmat suits set to be all the rage for Halloween, again (

“Many of the hazmat suits are left over from last year when the success of the TV series Breaking Bad made them a popular costume.”

Recent/related stories:

Halloween, top costumes—for you and your pet (Pick of the Week, 31st October)
Sexy Squid? Halloween costumes get absurd (Pick of the Week, 24th October)
Majority of Halloween costume spending is for adults (Pick of the Week, 17th October)
Ebola plush toys

Ebola plush toys fly off the shelf for Connecticut company (

“Giantmicrobes lists the World Health Organization as one of its largest customers, along with pharmaceutical companies and the American Red Cross.”

Ebola, Anthrax, Bird Flu, Botulism… crikey, The Clap. Yikes!

Marcel Duchamp, Fountain (1917)
Marcel Duchamp, Fountain (1917)

Artists to pay respects to the revolutionary dadaist Marcel Duchamp in new exhibition (

“Barely a conceptually challenging piece of work can be produced without it being declared ‘Duchampian’. Director of Contemporary Art at the Fine Art Society Kate Bryan was, however, struck by how it was always critics, collectors and catalogues that trumpeted Duchamp’s influence—not artists themselves.”

To be honest, that doesn’t suprise me; despite the stereotypes, established artists can be as keen to entrench them self in the familier as those in any other activity, leaving the discovery of new ground to arts Young Turks with less to lose and everything to gain.

Critics and collectors can make or embelish their name from discovouring or championing a new form just as much as the artist, and perhaps have less to lose as the name of the writer of a bad review is forgot much sooner than the creator of the work, now hanging albatross-like about their neck.

“To understand his legacy, the only thing you can do is ask artists, I strongly believe that every artist working today has had the opportunity to go through a door that Duchamp opened for them”

Indeed, the novelty in the everyday of the “Fountain” certainly opened the floodgates which I can depict Selena Gomez squirting through.

Recent/related stories:

Salvador Dalí holding an artistís lay figure
Salvador Dalí holding an artist’s lay figure

From model to sex toy—artists and mannequins (

“Adult models, whether professional or amateur, could seldom be counted on to do as they were told. They complained of cramp, insisted on stopping for lunch and were apt to nod off. Even Rossetti, whose personal mythology was built around stories of talent-spotting ‘stunners’ in the street and bringing them back to his studio, sometimes found it less exhausting to use dummies instead.”

For sure, Rossetti really did talk like he was writing for The Current Bun.

Note it takes an inevitable ride with Alan Beeton down the Uncanny Valley with his (non)-embodiment of Freud’s principle as discussed back in May relating to a survey back in May that asked how many would have sex with a robot (see related story below—did you have your vote?) I guess the android is just the digital manifestation of the mannequin.

Recent/related stories:

Google Street View takes a camel across the desert

Google Street View takes a camel across the desert (

“To bring these desert views to Street View, Google fashioned the Trekker camera to rest atop a camel’s hump. Using a camel for the project allowed Google to minimise its disruption of the fragile environment, the company said.”

And targeted ads to Jawa and Sand People… or worse!

Recent/related stories:

Did Apple’s maps spy the Loch Ness Monster? (Pick of the Week, 21st April)

Snapchat videos and pictures stored on a third party website posted online (

“Videos and pictures of as many as 200,000 teenagers posted via the Snapchat service and stored on a third party website have been put online, apparently by the same people who were behind the posting of nude celebrity photos in August.”

The Snapperning. Crikey! That’s a lot that could end up “accidentally” viewed in that “hot amateur” thread then. Or not, perhaps:

“13GB of low resolution garbage. Mundane, boring shit like ‘check out my new hat!’ or ‘heehee my shoes are so silly!’”

I bet there was a puppy in a cup too!

It seems the third party website in question was actually hacked:

“As soon as we discovered the breach in our systems, we immediately deleted the entire website and the database associated with it … We had a misconfiguration in our Apache server.”

Blimey, that fixed it then, didn’t it! Not the access logs too, I hope.

“The rebuttal comes after another anonymous claim, made via a posting on the Pastebin site—commonly used by hackers to post claims and conquests—that the administrator of Snapsaved had provided one or more hackers with a way to browse the content on the site. ”

So after all the hoo-har with The Fappening, will there be a major Fapdown by the F.B.I.? Will lawyers threaten to sue Google?

“The we’ll-help-if-you’re-famous rule holds both for the law-enforcement agencies that investigate these threats and the tech companies that host them. It often takes a famous name, a boatload of press coverage and/or a multimillion-dollar lawsuit to encourage tech companies to remove abusive material from their platforms, even when that material clearly violates their internal policies.”

I’m glad it’s not just me that’s been thinking that then.

Recent/related stories:

Snapchat hack affects 4.6 million users (Pick of the Week, 8th January)
Sir Tim Berners-Lee

Sir Tim Berners-Lee calls for new model for privacy on the web (

“Berners-Lee said that the promise of ‘big data’ has been undermined by companies using their customers’ data to deliver targeted advertising, which only serves to make them feel ‘a bit queasy’.”

For sure! Astonishingly it seems people are much less likely to care too when there is a “social” aspect involved; many insisted on a tick box to stop websites tracking their site to site movements but then quite happily reveal their password security question cats names, work sickie history, address and what time and day they are out on any given Sunday on any social media site their employer, potential employer or uneasy, jealous or vindictive spouse is certain to visit.

Recent/related stories:

Google spies on your emails to serve targeted ads (Pick of the Week, 21st April)

Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.

Have a story for Pick of the Month?

If we are in touch I’d be very grateful if you’d send it along.

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Tags: AnnaLynne McCord, Ariana Grande, Beyonce, Cara Delevingne, Chelsea Handler, Daisy Lowe, Erin Heatherton, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Brook, Kelly Rowland, Mariah Carey, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Penelope Cruz, Precious Muir, Rachel McCord, Rita Ora, Sarah Hyland, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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