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Pick of the week

Pick of the Week

23rd July 2014

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and hey, does it have a squirt action too?

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Pick of the best stories & pics

Updated 24th July 2014.
Iggy Azalea, Rita Ora on set Black Widow music video

Iggy Azalea’s double was more stunt than badunkadunk body on set Black Widow music video with Rita Ora (cheekypopdivadigest

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga, Instagram

Lady Gaga #FreedMotherMonsterNipple on a plane on Instagram (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Lady Gaga got puked on—for arts sake (Pick of the Week, 23rd March)
Selena Gomez, Not So Serious Ischia Global Festival

Selena Gomez said “You’ve had the boob, now here’s the leg” at Not So Serious Ischia Global Festival (

Recent/related stories:

J.Lo wants SelGo to play her in biopic (Latina Pick of the Week, 1st July)
Tulisa Contostavlos cocaine sting trial collapsed

Tulisa Contostavlos slammed Current Buns Fake Sheikh’s “lies” as drugs trial collapsed (

So it was all a case of fake Sheikh, rattle and tabloid bog roll, which is pretty much what The Current Bun is used for in greasy transport cafes country-wide anyway.

This of course all dates back to June of last year, when poor Tulisa was duped into a cocaine deal sting by intrepid undercover tabloid reporters (Pick of the Week, 3rd Jun. 2013).

Tulisa lured in to sting with fake Bollywood film offer

Oh, and not forgetting promises of new career in Bollywood by a mysterious fakkars (Pick of the Week, 10th Jun. 2013).

Sadly, we never will get to see Tulisa swivelling her hips while making esoteric hand gestures in time to cymbal crashes, alas.

Updated 4th December 2015.

“Fake Sheikh” reporter faces court over Tulisa trial “conspiracy” (

“The undercover reporter known as the Fake Sheikh is due to appear in court today charged with conspiring to pervert the course of justice. Mazher Mahmood, 52, is alleged to have misled the court during the collapsed drugs trial of pop star Tulisa Contostavlos. … The charge states that between June 22 2014 and July 22 2014, Mahmood and Smith conspired together to do an act, namely that [retired driver] Smith would change a draft statement to police, with the intention to pervert the course of justice.”
“Fake Sheikh” Mazher Mahmood
Updated 8th November 2014.
“Manuel Barca QC, for the BBC, said that Mr Mahmood’s identity was no secret and that the case was not about any fears for his safety but about protecting his livelihood and the shelf life of his professional stock-in-trade.”

It does indeed seem easier to drive the one hundred camels offered to protect his identity through the eye of a needle than to believe he really does live a “reclusive life in secure accommodation with 24-hour surveillance and where his neighbours did not know his real identity” in fear of N-Dubs assassins rather than that he’s been using that “hey, I can make you a Bollywood star” line for some time now.

Updated 26th July 2014.

She may have exposed the fake Sheikh’s prevarications but…

“Tulisa Contostavlos has said she is ‘outraged’ at her conviction for assaulting a celebrity blogger at a music festival. The former X-Factor judge was convicted of hitting Savvas Morgan during an altercation at V-Festival in Chelmsford.”

Being in and from Essex myself though, I thought getting thumped was just part and parcel of a night out in Essex.

It seemingly brought a tear as well as a “swelling” to Mr Morgan’s eye, with Tulisa claiming during the trial that Mr Morgan had a “strange obsession” with her.

Tulisa Contostavlos’ burnt bum

Yeah, I know of a few with one of those too, all to do with those pics of her burnt bum I suspect (Pick of the Week, 3rd June 2013).

It seems from his Twitter though, the celebrity blogger’s obsession is more with fashion, the new TOWIE star describing himself a “Fashion Obsessed Designer”.

I can’t help—but wish to hell I could—be reminded of celebrity blogger Perez Hilton getting a right hander from’s manager back in 2009 ( Lady Gaga, who is also in that shot of him getting clobbered, later accused Perez of stalking her (Pick of the Week, 27th August 2013).


Recent/related stories:

Lindsay Lohan, Instagram

Lindsay Lohan puckered up in Italy enjoying some bikini-clad R&R (celebrityoopsdigest

Yep, that’s just the pout I expected when LiLo’s balloon knot is puckered, indeed, is it the spitting image?

Recent/related stories:

Miley Cyrus, Instagram

Miley Cyrus’ is the tongue that just keeps on givin’ (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Cara Delevingne, Instagram

Cara Delevingne gave Big Red Button tongue (celebritytonguedigest

Recent/related stories:

Cara Delevingne gave DKNY tongue (Pick of the Week, 16th July)
Carol Vorderman Rear of the Year, again

Carol Vorderman wins Rear of the Year, again (

“Carol Vorderman is tops for bottoms—for the second time. The former Countdown brainbox, known for her ability with figures, is the first person to take the Rear of the Year title twice.”

While wishing Carol sincere congratulations, it suggests a certain old section of the British public is still lamenting seeing (or rather not seeing) the back of her on words and numbers game Countdown, the 53-year-old musing:

“I am both surprised and flattered to win the award for a second time—particularly at this stage of my life.”

Suggesting perhaps the contest is, or has become, the proclivity of the elder conundrum statesmen who compare Iggy Azalea’s rotund rear, when made aware of it by some young rascal, to Anneka Rice’s, the awards most famous winner back in 1986. Receiving only two votes in our Praise the MILF, have you a favourite MILF or cougar poll (Pick of the Week, Jan.), you obviously don’t stop by here much, you cheeky old buggers!

Rear of the Year, official site (

Recent/related stories:

.:: Top column 2 ::.
Tulisa Contostavlos sex tape
Tulisa may have exposed the fake Sheikh’s lies but she will still never be able to put that sex tape banana back in the box.
Jessica Lowndes, Ashley Buckelew on Instagram

Jessica Lowndes and Ashley Buckelew showed off their exquisitely tight and sexy thonged buns! (celebrityoopsdigest

Thanks to El Fapper.

Recent/related stories:

Jessica Lowndes got her Poison Ivy on for Halloween (Pick of the Week, 31st October 2013)

Edgy Brit chanteuse Charli XCX flashed pink panties in Kinross (

Charli XCX (

Abbey Clancy, Calvin Klein and party in London

Brit model and presenter Abbey Clancy flashed her black lacy knickers—and a lotta lower lip! (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Kate Upton, Cancun

Kate Upton gave some major bikini cleavage in Cancun (celebrityoopsdigest

Recent/related stories:

Kate Upton’s smooth pussy bodypaintingly bare! (Pick of the Week, 21st June)
Kate Upton pictured back on a horse in Malibu candids (Pick of the Week, 8th December 2013)
Farrah Abraham sex toy party

Now you can knock on your very own Farrah Abraham backdoor! (

“The sex toys she was promoting are rubber molds of her girly bits that one can make sweet sweet love to. I hear they are dishwasher safe.”

Hey, does it have that prolapsing action from the movie?

Recent/related stories:

Farrah Abraham got more backdoor in another video (Pick of the Week, 19th February)
Fifty Shades of Grey trailer

Beyoncé teased with first Fifty Shades of Grey trailer (

“The singer shared a short video on her Instagram page, with some sneaky shots from the upcoming movie (the much-hyped film based off E.L James’ erotic novel), which stars Jamie Dornan, Dakota Johnson and Rita Ora. Over the clip, a remix for her mega-hit Crazy In Love plays, which suggests she may have something to do with the film’s soundtrack.”

I’m sure all those old chaps chewing on their remaining teeth about “wimmin watching mommy porn” will be keen to cast a disapproving squinted eye over it before retiring to pull off over Emma Watson.

Fifty Shades of Grey trailer

They You can catch it here (

Recent/related stories:

Beyoncé was On The Run in Miami (Pick of the Week, 30th June)

Arts, culture, tech. & funnies

Japanese “vagina” artist Megumi Igarashi

Japanese artist Megumi Igarashi arrested for selling and distributing the design files to make 3D-printed models of her vagina (

“Igarashi designs and sells a range of products and artworks—including T-shirts, dioramas, phone covers, toys and games—around the motif of female genitalia. ”

In particular her own. Megumi Igarashi, a.k.a. Rokude Nashiko (“good-for-nothing kid”) is certainly very adept at getting a moulding. You may have seen those clone-a-pussy moulding kits available that let you cast your own—yep, I have been sent a few, thank you—but I’ve never had one output as minature crazy golf! Gimmie!

Considering all that Japanese hentai has output and the tentacled grip it has gained on the Western world, it seems ludicrously silly doesn’t it.

Updated 4th December 2014.
Megumi Igarashi’s “pussy boat”
“Megumi Igarashi … faces up to two years in prison after Tokyo police arrested her yesterday for displaying figurines modelled on her vagina and distributing digital data used to build a yellow kayak based on her genitals.”

Recent/related stories:

Latest Japanese fetish a total cover-up (Pick of the Week, 13th June)
Japan’s Love Hotels see business booming (Pick of the Week, 19th February)
Why Japan embraced sex in art with a passion (Pick of the Week, 2nd October 2013)
Warwick Women’s Rowing Club Naked Calendar

University women’s rowing club banned from Facebook after their nude charity calendar was branded pornography (

“The 17 members of the group posed naked next to the River Avon and their boat house in Barford, Warwickshire, before posting the pictures on both Facebook and Twitter.”

And promptly got banned on Facebook—but not Twitter, which pretty much allows you to poke whatever you like at the screen whithout a care.

A worthy cause for sure, and hey, I’m all for #FreeingTheNipple and letting the beaver swim free too, but, and it’s a big but, it is against Facebook’s TOS.

“They say it is because of nudity but we are not violating any of their terms and all the pictures we post are not indecent images or inappropriate.”

But they are nude, and it says “no” to that in the TOS. It may be argued that it is not “sexualised” nudity, but surly a lot of that is within the gaze of the eye of the beholder, and many of those eyes on Facebook are more at home with puppies in a cup.

For sure, context will always play a role where nudity is concerned, but were it on Page 3 of The Current Bun there would still be howls from some to have it banned as sexist and demeaning, and, artistic or not, they are only showing the same bits. Who is to decide when art becomes soft-porn? And if anybody, do we really want it to be a likely volunteer Facebook moderator?

Regardless, sexualised or not, it was promoted as “Warwick Women’s Rowing Club Naked Calendar”, and I’d stick my oar on the selling point in there on being the “naked”, and query if we all supposed to pretend that that doesn’t matter and is of no interest and not why we looked at all. That is not making us any more accepting of nudity.

Recent/related stories:

Thor is now a woman

Haven’t you heard? Thor is now a woman, but that’s not why she’s a big deal (

“Marvel itself is claiming that Thor ‘aims to speak directly to an audience that long was not the target for superhero comic books in America: women and girls.’”

Who like super-powered boobies too!

Updated 22nd July 2019

Link updated.

Recent/related stories:

Superman celebrated his 75! (Pick of the Week, 23rd April 2013)
DC Comics revitalised Latin superhero (Latina Pick of the Week, 6th March 2013)

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Tags: Abbey Clancy, Ashley Buckelew, Beyonce, Cara Delevingne, Charli XCX, Farrah Abraham, Jessica Lowndes, Kate Upton, Iggy Azalea, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Rita Ora, Selena Gomez, Tulisa Contostavlos.

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Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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